Jess-occult Stephens
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jessmstephens.bsky.social
Jess-occult Stephens
@jessmstephens.bsky.social
I am a professional motivational speaker for dogs. She/her/hers
I legit just found out I'm biologically descended from William the Conqueror. Can I leverage this to gain UK citizenship? As my 26th great-grandfather William the Conqueror did?
November 27, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I'm worried Pantone's gonna release its next color of the year without telling me.
November 7, 2025 at 2:24 PM
God dammit. I forgot about Simple Minds.
October 23, 2025 at 2:43 AM
A Catholic priest in Michigan walked so that Phil Phillips could run.
October 21, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I think one of the coolest things the Puppy Bowl can do next February is have its own halftime show headlined by a bad bunny (literally any bunny will do).
October 21, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Do Brits come in sizes other than Greg Davies and Josh Widdicombe, or are those the only two?
September 12, 2025 at 5:47 PM
🔥🔥🔥
Epstein survivors say they're creating their own list to release
YouTube video by MSNBC
www.youtube.com
September 3, 2025 at 5:13 PM
But I'm not going to lie. I know in my bones that Jason Mantzoukas 100% would nail this role in the Sorkin drama. I would pay several dollars to see him read this as Daskalakis. Surname is already perfect, no Hollywood yassification needed. x.com/dr_demetre/s...
August 28, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Reading this is like having a dream that I'm in an Aaron Sorkin drama except no life is nightmares and I can't wake up.
"Unable to serve": CDC vaccine chief slams Kennedy in scathing resignation post
Demetre Daskalakis said there had been an "intentional eroding of trust in low-risk vaccines."
www.axios.com
August 28, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Comparison is the thief of joy. So comparing yourself to your enemies is a really great way to make them miserable.
August 24, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Here's something "they" don't want you to know:
You're doing fine, it's fine, everything's fine
August 2, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Would you like a cow on your flag or would you like a bird on your flag?
Moldova: Yes
July 30, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Honestly, the name of our country? 0/10 stars. Each new word more generic than the last.
July 3, 2025 at 2:14 PM
He's really excelled the Kennedy legacy. Just not the legacy of the correct Kennedys.
July 2, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
I miss folk music.
If I Were
YouTube video by The Horne Section - Topic
www.youtube.com
July 2, 2025 at 1:23 PM
My favorite thing about the flag of Sri Lanka is how the lion has at least one opposable thumb.
June 28, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Is there stuff to do in Steubenville besides steubin'?
June 27, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Matt Berry is the gift that keeps on giving. By which I mean he's delightful and hasn't died yet.
June 7, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Guys, nothing's stopping non-Monaco countries from having figure-skating, sword-weilding monks on their national emblems.
May 16, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Just told my dog, "I'm going to bed now. I'm going to miss you while I'm asleep." He got it.
April 27, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
American. Citizens. Cannot. Be. Deported.

I know we all want to be concise, but we simply cannot use the shorthand terms of the fascists when they describe wildly illegal & unconstitutional things.

Extrajudicial renditions. Kidnappings. Wildly unconstitutional fascism. All right there as options.
April 27, 2025 at 12:35 AM
My plan to score a bunch of free bobby pins by being a bridesmaid went off without a hitch.
April 27, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
This is the type of thing that poorly run private companies are doing on a smaller scale constantly and a great example of why “we gotta run government like a business” is a grade-A dumb guy’s idea of what a smart guy thinks
NYT: One estimate finds that DOGE’s “firings, re-hirings, lost productivity and paid leave of thousands of workers” will actually COST taxpayers “upward of $135 billion this fiscal year.”

@nytimes.com 🤡
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/24/u...
April 25, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
Post an iconic blonde www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsUf...
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Looks like the "new atheists" were paying attention in church after all.*

*Yes, I made the same joke on every platform. I'll stop when enablers of predators stop.
New video! Jerry Coyne is a New Atheist who recently wrote a screed suggesting trans people are sexual predators, based on obviously faulty data. Now he’s publishing an essay in a book edited by actual sexual predator Lawrence Krauss, about a “War on Science.” skepchick.org/2025/04/sex-...
Sex Predators
So, a number of you have let me know that there’s a hot new book coming out soon all about The War on Science. Now, it’s not out yet so obviously I haven’t read it but I’m pretty pumped because I e…
skepchick.org
April 24, 2025 at 3:50 PM