Jess-occult Stephens
@jessmstephens.bsky.social
I am a professional motivational speaker for dogs. She/her/hers
I legit just found out I'm biologically descended from William the Conqueror. Can I leverage this to gain UK citizenship? As my 26th great-grandfather William the Conqueror did?
November 27, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I legit just found out I'm biologically descended from William the Conqueror. Can I leverage this to gain UK citizenship? As my 26th great-grandfather William the Conqueror did?
I'm worried Pantone's gonna release its next color of the year without telling me.
November 7, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I'm worried Pantone's gonna release its next color of the year without telling me.
God dammit. I forgot about Simple Minds.
October 23, 2025 at 2:43 AM
God dammit. I forgot about Simple Minds.
A Catholic priest in Michigan walked so that Phil Phillips could run.
October 21, 2025 at 7:21 PM
A Catholic priest in Michigan walked so that Phil Phillips could run.
I think one of the coolest things the Puppy Bowl can do next February is have its own halftime show headlined by a bad bunny (literally any bunny will do).
October 21, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I think one of the coolest things the Puppy Bowl can do next February is have its own halftime show headlined by a bad bunny (literally any bunny will do).
Do Brits come in sizes other than Greg Davies and Josh Widdicombe, or are those the only two?
September 12, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Do Brits come in sizes other than Greg Davies and Josh Widdicombe, or are those the only two?
🔥🔥🔥
Epstein survivors say they're creating their own list to release
YouTube video by MSNBC
www.youtube.com
September 3, 2025 at 5:13 PM
🔥🔥🔥
But I'm not going to lie. I know in my bones that Jason Mantzoukas 100% would nail this role in the Sorkin drama. I would pay several dollars to see him read this as Daskalakis. Surname is already perfect, no Hollywood yassification needed. x.com/dr_demetre/s...
August 28, 2025 at 2:02 AM
But I'm not going to lie. I know in my bones that Jason Mantzoukas 100% would nail this role in the Sorkin drama. I would pay several dollars to see him read this as Daskalakis. Surname is already perfect, no Hollywood yassification needed. x.com/dr_demetre/s...
Reading this is like having a dream that I'm in an Aaron Sorkin drama except no life is nightmares and I can't wake up.
"Unable to serve": CDC vaccine chief slams Kennedy in scathing resignation post
Demetre Daskalakis said there had been an "intentional eroding of trust in low-risk vaccines."
www.axios.com
August 28, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Reading this is like having a dream that I'm in an Aaron Sorkin drama except no life is nightmares and I can't wake up.
Comparison is the thief of joy. So comparing yourself to your enemies is a really great way to make them miserable.
August 24, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Comparison is the thief of joy. So comparing yourself to your enemies is a really great way to make them miserable.
Here's something "they" don't want you to know:
You're doing fine, it's fine, everything's fine
You're doing fine, it's fine, everything's fine
August 2, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Here's something "they" don't want you to know:
You're doing fine, it's fine, everything's fine
You're doing fine, it's fine, everything's fine
Would you like a cow on your flag or would you like a bird on your flag?
Moldova: Yes
Moldova: Yes
July 30, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Would you like a cow on your flag or would you like a bird on your flag?
Moldova: Yes
Moldova: Yes
Honestly, the name of our country? 0/10 stars. Each new word more generic than the last.
July 3, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Honestly, the name of our country? 0/10 stars. Each new word more generic than the last.
He's really excelled the Kennedy legacy. Just not the legacy of the correct Kennedys.
July 2, 2025 at 1:26 PM
He's really excelled the Kennedy legacy. Just not the legacy of the correct Kennedys.
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
I miss folk music.
If I Were
YouTube video by The Horne Section - Topic
www.youtube.com
July 2, 2025 at 1:23 PM
I miss folk music.
My favorite thing about the flag of Sri Lanka is how the lion has at least one opposable thumb.
June 28, 2025 at 6:41 PM
My favorite thing about the flag of Sri Lanka is how the lion has at least one opposable thumb.
Is there stuff to do in Steubenville besides steubin'?
June 27, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Is there stuff to do in Steubenville besides steubin'?
Matt Berry is the gift that keeps on giving. By which I mean he's delightful and hasn't died yet.
June 7, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Matt Berry is the gift that keeps on giving. By which I mean he's delightful and hasn't died yet.
Guys, nothing's stopping non-Monaco countries from having figure-skating, sword-weilding monks on their national emblems.
May 16, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Guys, nothing's stopping non-Monaco countries from having figure-skating, sword-weilding monks on their national emblems.
Just told my dog, "I'm going to bed now. I'm going to miss you while I'm asleep." He got it.
April 27, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Just told my dog, "I'm going to bed now. I'm going to miss you while I'm asleep." He got it.
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
American. Citizens. Cannot. Be. Deported.
I know we all want to be concise, but we simply cannot use the shorthand terms of the fascists when they describe wildly illegal & unconstitutional things.
Extrajudicial renditions. Kidnappings. Wildly unconstitutional fascism. All right there as options.
I know we all want to be concise, but we simply cannot use the shorthand terms of the fascists when they describe wildly illegal & unconstitutional things.
Extrajudicial renditions. Kidnappings. Wildly unconstitutional fascism. All right there as options.
Three U.S. citizens, ages 2, 4 and 7, swiftly deported from Louisiana www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/...
Three U.S. citizens, ages 2, 4 and 7, swiftly deported from Louisiana
The cases have renewed concerns that the Trump administration’s expedited deportations are violating the rights of both citizens and noncitizens.
www.washingtonpost.com
April 27, 2025 at 12:35 AM
American. Citizens. Cannot. Be. Deported.
I know we all want to be concise, but we simply cannot use the shorthand terms of the fascists when they describe wildly illegal & unconstitutional things.
Extrajudicial renditions. Kidnappings. Wildly unconstitutional fascism. All right there as options.
I know we all want to be concise, but we simply cannot use the shorthand terms of the fascists when they describe wildly illegal & unconstitutional things.
Extrajudicial renditions. Kidnappings. Wildly unconstitutional fascism. All right there as options.
My plan to score a bunch of free bobby pins by being a bridesmaid went off without a hitch.
April 27, 2025 at 3:54 AM
My plan to score a bunch of free bobby pins by being a bridesmaid went off without a hitch.
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
This is the type of thing that poorly run private companies are doing on a smaller scale constantly and a great example of why “we gotta run government like a business” is a grade-A dumb guy’s idea of what a smart guy thinks
NYT: One estimate finds that DOGE’s “firings, re-hirings, lost productivity and paid leave of thousands of workers” will actually COST taxpayers “upward of $135 billion this fiscal year.”
@nytimes.com 🤡
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/24/u...
@nytimes.com 🤡
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/24/u...
April 25, 2025 at 12:18 PM
This is the type of thing that poorly run private companies are doing on a smaller scale constantly and a great example of why “we gotta run government like a business” is a grade-A dumb guy’s idea of what a smart guy thinks
Reposted by Jess-occult Stephens
Post an iconic blonde www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsUf...
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Post an iconic blonde www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsUf...
Looks like the "new atheists" were paying attention in church after all.*
*Yes, I made the same joke on every platform. I'll stop when enablers of predators stop.
*Yes, I made the same joke on every platform. I'll stop when enablers of predators stop.
New video! Jerry Coyne is a New Atheist who recently wrote a screed suggesting trans people are sexual predators, based on obviously faulty data. Now he’s publishing an essay in a book edited by actual sexual predator Lawrence Krauss, about a “War on Science.” skepchick.org/2025/04/sex-...
Sex Predators
So, a number of you have let me know that there’s a hot new book coming out soon all about The War on Science. Now, it’s not out yet so obviously I haven’t read it but I’m pretty pumped because I e…
skepchick.org
April 24, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Looks like the "new atheists" were paying attention in church after all.*
*Yes, I made the same joke on every platform. I'll stop when enablers of predators stop.
*Yes, I made the same joke on every platform. I'll stop when enablers of predators stop.