They want us to never own anything, but RENT everything where we pay monthly fees forever.

The triple ones are crazy to me. Totally picture the name inventor saying “what do you mean “bison bison” already exists 😠 this is clearly “bison bison bison”, the most bison of all bisons”

Can I interest you in Meles Meles?

unfortunately our midwestern dying one just has large hanging drapes with inspirational quotes over the empty hollowed out stores & it really adds a dystopian flourish

My aunt once got super drunk while cooking for Thanksgiving. We all made faces when we tasted each dish, because there was this weird flavor. She said, "I made everything with eggnog instead of milk, genius, right?" Gravy, potatoes, dressing, EVERYTHING

IT WAS NOT GENIUS

My ex's grandma's cooking was justly feared by all. At one grisly holiday feast her daughter-in-law whimpered, "Dorothy, how did you get the turkey to *taste* like that," and she beamed, "Well, I cook the turkey the night before, and I slice it and I leave it out overnight to dry."

My aunt who famously can’t cook tried to make a pumpkin pie. She didn’t know what cloves were, so she put garlic cloves in it. Whole.

Barbara Narwhalters is truly inspired. A+++ 13/10. 😂

When someone says "financial innovation," it almost always means "a new kind of fraud that hasn't been outlawed yet" (and these new kinds of fraud are usually old kinds of fraud with a fresh coat of paint).

Vincent VanGoat
William-Adolphe Bouguergoat
Mary CatCat (Cassatt)
Edgar Debaas
John Singer Sardine
Georges Sir Rat (Seurat)
Claude Monket (pronounced Monkey)
Man Ray, short for Manta Ray