Pinned
The “I can sing like Amy Winehouse” crowd always end up sounding like they’re choking on a thrift-store vinyl. ICK 😆🤣
a close up of a white cat with its tongue out .
ALT: a close up of a white cat with its tongue out .
media.tenor.com
December 1, 2025 at 7:56 AM
The “I can sing like Amy Winehouse” crowd always end up sounding like they’re choking on a thrift-store vinyl. ICK 😆🤣
Reposted by ZANE
this joke is so dad it threw me in the deep end to teach me how to swim
after several poor financial decisions, the scuba shop owner has found themselves underwater
November 12, 2025 at 2:44 PM
this joke is so dad it threw me in the deep end to teach me how to swim
Some women ditch their kids to keep a man. Meanwhile I worry my dog feels sad when I leave for work. The math isn’t mathing.
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 AM
Some women ditch their kids to keep a man. Meanwhile I worry my dog feels sad when I leave for work. The math isn’t mathing.
Reposted by ZANE
*INHALES* ‘Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby..’ 🎶
November 7, 2025 at 10:52 PM
*INHALES* ‘Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby..’ 🎶
They suggested chill pills + gentle approach. I suggested sedation + efficiency to avoid bloodshed and emotional damage🩸 Back home, sedated gremlin is peaceful, but I just KNOW he’s confused about where his eagle claws went 😜
November 6, 2025 at 1:15 PM
They suggested chill pills + gentle approach. I suggested sedation + efficiency to avoid bloodshed and emotional damage🩸 Back home, sedated gremlin is peaceful, but I just KNOW he’s confused about where his eagle claws went 😜
Public warning: if you hear screams from the clinic, don’t worry. It’s just us.
He sensed the nail trimmers before we even left home — currently being extra cute to save his claws 😭🤣😗
He sensed the nail trimmers before we even left home — currently being extra cute to save his claws 😭🤣😗
November 6, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Public warning: if you hear screams from the clinic, don’t worry. It’s just us.
He sensed the nail trimmers before we even left home — currently being extra cute to save his claws 😭🤣😗
He sensed the nail trimmers before we even left home — currently being extra cute to save his claws 😭🤣😗
Deactivated FB & X, and now my whole personality is: sharks, mantas, “how to win against a triggerfish,” diving fails, and refreshing the tracking on my scuba mask that STILL has no ETA.
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✅ Skill level: 1
✅ Delusion level: Ocean Ramsey’s manta-ray cousin with scuba gear 😭🤣
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✅ Skill level: 1
✅ Delusion level: Ocean Ramsey’s manta-ray cousin with scuba gear 😭🤣
November 5, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Deactivated FB & X, and now my whole personality is: sharks, mantas, “how to win against a triggerfish,” diving fails, and refreshing the tracking on my scuba mask that STILL has no ETA.
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✅ Skill level: 1
✅ Delusion level: Ocean Ramsey’s manta-ray cousin with scuba gear 😭🤣
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✅ Skill level: 1
✅ Delusion level: Ocean Ramsey’s manta-ray cousin with scuba gear 😭🤣
I respect the new clinic’s optimism because last time Jimmy bit the vet and he vowed never to go near those paws again🐾 😭
November 5, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I respect the new clinic’s optimism because last time Jimmy bit the vet and he vowed never to go near those paws again🐾 😭
No one can replace my dead husband, BUT.. 🤦🏼♀️😆
November 5, 2025 at 6:45 AM
No one can replace my dead husband, BUT.. 🤦🏼♀️😆
Whatever that Ed Gein Netflix “story” was, it clearly operates on an IQ level peasants like me will never reach. I salute the elites who understood it. 🎩
October 28, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Whatever that Ed Gein Netflix “story” was, it clearly operates on an IQ level peasants like me will never reach. I salute the elites who understood it. 🎩
Scuba gear really said “how bad do you want inner peace?” 💳🐚
October 26, 2025 at 8:36 AM
Scuba gear really said “how bad do you want inner peace?” 💳🐚
Every quarter, I dream of peace. Every quarter, Jimmy eats something inedible. We’re back on Poop Watch, folks. Balloon this time. 🎈🐾
October 25, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Every quarter, I dream of peace. Every quarter, Jimmy eats something inedible. We’re back on Poop Watch, folks. Balloon this time. 🎈🐾
Reposted by ZANE
Wearing a "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" shirt and then never having coffee
October 16, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Wearing a "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" shirt and then never having coffee
call it “daddy issues” , but my dad at 35 was reliable, one grandpa remarried my grandma in church after 50 years, and the other still brings me flowers. i was raised on love and respect, not “yo i’m in town” energy and mood swings when i don’t drop family plans 🤣 who is even attracted to that?! 🤦🏼♀️
October 13, 2025 at 2:27 PM
call it “daddy issues” , but my dad at 35 was reliable, one grandpa remarried my grandma in church after 50 years, and the other still brings me flowers. i was raised on love and respect, not “yo i’m in town” energy and mood swings when i don’t drop family plans 🤣 who is even attracted to that?! 🤦🏼♀️
Reposted by ZANE
“I hear the wind blow, and I feel that it was worth being born just to hear the wind blow.”
~ Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935)
#Photography
~ Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935)
#Photography
October 12, 2025 at 9:56 AM
“I hear the wind blow, and I feel that it was worth being born just to hear the wind blow.”
~ Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935)
#Photography
~ Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935)
#Photography
Kubala, Kubala… have no one to talk about that too! 💔
October 6, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Kubala, Kubala… have no one to talk about that too! 💔
All I can say is that Ghanians don’t rest in peace… AT ALL. My TikTok feed is flooded with videos of deceased actively participating in their own funeral. ☠️😆
October 6, 2025 at 4:15 PM
All I can say is that Ghanians don’t rest in peace… AT ALL. My TikTok feed is flooded with videos of deceased actively participating in their own funeral. ☠️😆
Cozy mode engaged: radiator warm, Assassin’s Creed Shadows running, and takeaway en route. Perfection. 🌙🔥🍔
October 3, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Cozy mode engaged: radiator warm, Assassin’s Creed Shadows running, and takeaway en route. Perfection. 🌙🔥🍔
I’m lowkey offended my family solved why I was checking if the dead rat was still there. 35 yrs of me = open book of pettiness. 100% accuracy: I was about to throw it on the windshield of my neighbor’s car blocking my driveway.🐀🚗🧤
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September 27, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I’m lowkey offended my family solved why I was checking if the dead rat was still there. 35 yrs of me = open book of pettiness. 100% accuracy: I was about to throw it on the windshield of my neighbor’s car blocking my driveway.🐀🚗🧤
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Erika: Live.Laugh.Lucifer. 🤟🏻
September 23, 2025 at 11:15 AM
Erika: Live.Laugh.Lucifer. 🤟🏻
Mom; ex-diver, aneurysm survivor.
Me: future diver, aneurysm anxiety provider. 🤿🧜🏻♀️
Me: future diver, aneurysm anxiety provider. 🤿🧜🏻♀️
September 16, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Mom; ex-diver, aneurysm survivor.
Me: future diver, aneurysm anxiety provider. 🤿🧜🏻♀️
Me: future diver, aneurysm anxiety provider. 🤿🧜🏻♀️
So this week I stopped finding my friends funny. Must be what it feels to be the main character. 🤭🤦🏼♀️
September 16, 2025 at 10:56 AM
So this week I stopped finding my friends funny. Must be what it feels to be the main character. 🤭🤦🏼♀️
Reposted by ZANE
