Ben
@halfemptiest.bsky.social
Getting my social media fix with ~25% less fascism
UPDATE: Nah. Didn’t happen
BREAKING: The ICE agent who fatally shot Renee Good last week in Minneapolis, Jonathan Ross, suffered internal bleeding to the torso following the incident, according to two U.S. officials briefed on his medical condition.
ICE agent who shot Renee Good suffered internal bleeding, officials say
Jonathan Ross, who shot Renee Good in Minneapolis last week, suffered internal bleeding after the incident, two officials said, though it's not clear how extensive the bleeding was.
cbsn.ws
January 14, 2026 at 7:03 PM
UPDATE: Nah. Didn’t happen
Damn, can’t even tax the billionaires a little more to mow down more homeless encampments. I hope he falls ill in a hair gel accident. Like the new stuff make his scalp really itchy, then he flies to turkey for a scalp transplant and gets lost in an alley in Istanbul.
Gov. Gavin Newsom of California vowed to block a tax on billionaires, saying that a ballot proposal has already scared off tech leaders.
Gavin Newsom Vows to Stop Proposed Billionaire Tax in California
Gov. Gavin Newsom said he was working behind the scenes to block a proposed tax on billionaires’ wealth and was committed to defeating the measure if it reached the ballot.
nyti.ms
January 13, 2026 at 3:12 PM
Damn, can’t even tax the billionaires a little more to mow down more homeless encampments. I hope he falls ill in a hair gel accident. Like the new stuff make his scalp really itchy, then he flies to turkey for a scalp transplant and gets lost in an alley in Istanbul.
This is how an administration and its tentacles act when there’s no consequences to their actions. Just rampant pillaging, rape and murder.
I await the tepid bipartisan angle from congressional dems
I await the tepid bipartisan angle from congressional dems
January 7, 2026 at 7:43 PM
This is how an administration and its tentacles act when there’s no consequences to their actions. Just rampant pillaging, rape and murder.
I await the tepid bipartisan angle from congressional dems
I await the tepid bipartisan angle from congressional dems
Today I bring in an avowed war criminal to justify our war criminality. Tune in next week, when I perform a 90 minute soliloquy on cancel culture
Opinion | A Defense of U.S. Intervention in Venezuela
www.nytimes.com
January 7, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Today I bring in an avowed war criminal to justify our war criminality. Tune in next week, when I perform a 90 minute soliloquy on cancel culture
Gotta keep the roadways clear and unobstructed for the fascism. And pub crawls
What in the Gestapo is going on in Grand Rapids?
Watch this activist get arrested *mid-interview* for speaking out against U.S. action in Venezuela.
Watch this activist get arrested *mid-interview* for speaking out against U.S. action in Venezuela.
January 5, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Gotta keep the roadways clear and unobstructed for the fascism. And pub crawls
Just pillaging nations without the decency to lie to us anymore. Need some sweet neo-con/lib op-Ed’s to tell us how this is actually good, and won’t cause death and starvation for a nation of people. Greeted as Liberators in a TikTok dance
January 3, 2026 at 10:26 AM
Just pillaging nations without the decency to lie to us anymore. Need some sweet neo-con/lib op-Ed’s to tell us how this is actually good, and won’t cause death and starvation for a nation of people. Greeted as Liberators in a TikTok dance
It’s gonna take decades to claw out from the damage this has done, as they strip funding from our medical societies, cripple research and base guidelines on conspiratorial bullshit.
U.S. plans to stop recommending most childhood vaccines, defer to doctors
The plan, which is not finalized, suggests children get fewer shots and shifts to a model telling parents to consult doctors to make their own vaccine choices.
www.washingtonpost.com
December 19, 2025 at 10:49 PM
It’s gonna take decades to claw out from the damage this has done, as they strip funding from our medical societies, cripple research and base guidelines on conspiratorial bullshit.
Oh shit this blames me? But I’m great? The consultants agree, I’m great. Great great great.
Dem Leaders Decide to Bury Damning Report on Why Trump Won in 2024
The Democratic National Committee has completed its long-awaited analysis on what went wrong in the 2024 campaign. But in a move that will attract intense criticism, it’s keeping the findings secret.
newrepublic.com
December 18, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Oh shit this blames me? But I’m great? The consultants agree, I’m great. Great great great.
Karoline pauses, touches her litany of crucifix necklaces and recalls the parable of Jesus speaking to his disciples
“If you have a chance to deport your brother’s baby mama to alleviate custody issues, call the Romans immediately, as my father would frown on child support payments.”
“If you have a chance to deport your brother’s baby mama to alleviate custody issues, call the Romans immediately, as my father would frown on child support payments.”
“After Ferreira was detained, Dos Santos Rodrigues said Michael Leavitt Sr. and his father, Bob Leavitt, reached out to her.”
“‘They just kept saying, ‘Tell her to self-deport,’” she recalled. “Self-deport to where? Brazil is not her home.’” www.bostonglobe.com/2025/11/26/m...
“‘They just kept saying, ‘Tell her to self-deport,’” she recalled. “Self-deport to where? Brazil is not her home.’” www.bostonglobe.com/2025/11/26/m...
‘Brazil is not her home.’ Mother of Karoline Leavitt’s nephew, brought to US as child, detained by ICE. - The Boston Globe
Bruna Ferreira, 33, was brought to the United States as a child in 1998. She is now in removal proceedings in Louisiana.
www.bostonglobe.com
November 26, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Karoline pauses, touches her litany of crucifix necklaces and recalls the parable of Jesus speaking to his disciples
“If you have a chance to deport your brother’s baby mama to alleviate custody issues, call the Romans immediately, as my father would frown on child support payments.”
“If you have a chance to deport your brother’s baby mama to alleviate custody issues, call the Romans immediately, as my father would frown on child support payments.”
Going off to meet the Zangief Crossfitter in the sky, sailing off like the end of Grease
Breaking News: Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene announced she would resign from Congress, days after President Trump called her a “traitor.” nyti.ms/4o71Flz
November 22, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Going off to meet the Zangief Crossfitter in the sky, sailing off like the end of Grease
As a veteran, it’s my day to accost businesses for discounts and if there are none write a scathing google review about how Krispy Kreme hates America
November 11, 2025 at 4:08 PM
As a veteran, it’s my day to accost businesses for discounts and if there are none write a scathing google review about how Krispy Kreme hates America
Ah yes. I voted to close the federal government until we got a pinky promise that the GOP would vote on the ACA, like they have been for the past 15 years trying to repeal it.
Good fight sir, you’re more feckless that I thought possible.
Good fight sir, you’re more feckless that I thought possible.
My statement on the funding deal to reopen government, protect federal employees, and vote to protect health care:
November 10, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Ah yes. I voted to close the federal government until we got a pinky promise that the GOP would vote on the ACA, like they have been for the past 15 years trying to repeal it.
Good fight sir, you’re more feckless that I thought possible.
Good fight sir, you’re more feckless that I thought possible.
The Trump plane must be back flying sorties the way the GOP in Virginia is eating shit tonight
November 5, 2025 at 2:37 AM
The Trump plane must be back flying sorties the way the GOP in Virginia is eating shit tonight
Rest in piss. Here’s to hoping he’s the first in a rule of 3.
Hoping for a final destination situation for a specific Big Mac
Hoping for a final destination situation for a specific Big Mac
Former Vice President Dick Cheney has died, his family said in a statement. He was 84 abcnews.go.com/Politics/for...
November 4, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Rest in piss. Here’s to hoping he’s the first in a rule of 3.
Hoping for a final destination situation for a specific Big Mac
Hoping for a final destination situation for a specific Big Mac
Real life is now just a rejected Maury plotline.
“My husband is an underground nazi” would have at least go all out and and give him a fake hitler stache when he came out to a chorus of boos
“My husband is an underground nazi” would have at least go all out and and give him a fake hitler stache when he came out to a chorus of boos
October 27, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Real life is now just a rejected Maury plotline.
“My husband is an underground nazi” would have at least go all out and and give him a fake hitler stache when he came out to a chorus of boos
“My husband is an underground nazi” would have at least go all out and and give him a fake hitler stache when he came out to a chorus of boos
The pinnacle of the human brain, measured by the ability to identify common animals.
My son has already reached the peak of human thought at the age of 3
My son has already reached the peak of human thought at the age of 3
Trump: AOC is low IQ. If you give her an IQ test, have her pass like the exams that I decided to take when I was at Walter Reed. Those are very hard…
The first couple of questions are easy. A tiger, an elephant, a giraffe..
The first couple of questions are easy. A tiger, an elephant, a giraffe..
October 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
The pinnacle of the human brain, measured by the ability to identify common animals.
My son has already reached the peak of human thought at the age of 3
My son has already reached the peak of human thought at the age of 3
Jesus this fucking sucks. I just don’t know where to begin, and we’ll continue to give a shroud to the rightward shift and authoritarian takeover as long as the liberal elites still feel as though they have a seat at the table.
Opinion | America Still Has a Political Center, and It’s the Key to Winning
www.nytimes.com
October 20, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Jesus this fucking sucks. I just don’t know where to begin, and we’ll continue to give a shroud to the rightward shift and authoritarian takeover as long as the liberal elites still feel as though they have a seat at the table.
I’m drafted into President Trump’s diarrhea brigade. It’s grueling work, but the president keeps up our morale by dropping the largest deuce any of us can imagine every morning.
We’re also given endless filet-o-fish in honor of dear leader, which helps things move along
We’re also given endless filet-o-fish in honor of dear leader, which helps things move along
October 19, 2025 at 11:43 AM
I’m drafted into President Trump’s diarrhea brigade. It’s grueling work, but the president keeps up our morale by dropping the largest deuce any of us can imagine every morning.
We’re also given endless filet-o-fish in honor of dear leader, which helps things move along
We’re also given endless filet-o-fish in honor of dear leader, which helps things move along
No kings! Except my toddler son whom im forced to be at the beck and call with goldfish at any time
October 18, 2025 at 7:07 PM
No kings! Except my toddler son whom im forced to be at the beck and call with goldfish at any time
Trump asking pharmaceutical companies to pay you to take their meds, obviously now on the UBI train. I guess the horseshoe theory is true
Trump: "We're gonna be reducing the cost of medicines by 100%, 200%, 300%, 500% and even more than that."
October 9, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Trump asking pharmaceutical companies to pay you to take their meds, obviously now on the UBI train. I guess the horseshoe theory is true
Can’t wait for the Supreme Court to vote for religious freedom next year. It gives me time to set up my holy water dunk tank in the ICU, that’s said to cure all septic shock
The Supreme Court will weigh whether a ban on conversion therapy for minors violates Christian therapists' free speech or protects LGBTQ+ youth from a practice most studies have deemed unsafe and ineffective.
The case could affect laws in nearly 30 states.
The case could affect laws in nearly 30 states.
Christian therapist seeks right to counsel gay teens to change feelings
The Supreme Court will consider whether therapists’ free speech rights outweigh a law that bans therapy that seeks to change sexual identity. Almost 30 states have such bans.
www.washingtonpost.com
October 6, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Can’t wait for the Supreme Court to vote for religious freedom next year. It gives me time to set up my holy water dunk tank in the ICU, that’s said to cure all septic shock
Vought lights a candle next to layoff job numbers, slowly slides into a bath then goes to town on himself
“Russ Vought, the OMB director, has been dreaming about this moment—preparing this moment—since puberty."
trib.al/BLgoiIE
trib.al/BLgoiIE
GOP Senator: Project 2025 Creator Has Dreamt About This Since Puberty
Republicans all know the havoc Russell Vought is about to unleash this shutdown.
trib.al
October 4, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Vought lights a candle next to layoff job numbers, slowly slides into a bath then goes to town on himself
Illegals also forced us to cut insurance coverage, shut down rural hospitals which will in turn continue to pack ERs as that will be the only means for 40 million people to get healthcare.
Also illegals caused my wife and children to hate me, and my glaring impotence unless I think of Peter Theil
Also illegals caused my wife and children to hate me, and my glaring impotence unless I think of Peter Theil
Vance: "If you're an American citizen & you've been to the hospital in the last few years, you've probably noticed wait times are especially large & very often somebody who's there in the ER is an illegal alien. Why do those people get healthcare benefits at hospitals paid for by American citizens?"
October 1, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Illegals also forced us to cut insurance coverage, shut down rural hospitals which will in turn continue to pack ERs as that will be the only means for 40 million people to get healthcare.
Also illegals caused my wife and children to hate me, and my glaring impotence unless I think of Peter Theil
Also illegals caused my wife and children to hate me, and my glaring impotence unless I think of Peter Theil
The next executive order is gonna be targeting large ladies on glass bridges with rocks.
We’ve got to get these ladies before they get to these big rocks. Some people are saying the democrats give these rocks to destroy the bridges, and it’s something we’ll be looking into.
We’ve got to get these ladies before they get to these big rocks. Some people are saying the democrats give these rocks to destroy the bridges, and it’s something we’ll be looking into.
Absolutely dying that the latest AI trend that's apparently sweeping Facebook are videos of old women jumping backwards while holding giant rocks over their heads to kamikaze the glass bridges they're standing on.
September 30, 2025 at 11:33 PM
The next executive order is gonna be targeting large ladies on glass bridges with rocks.
We’ve got to get these ladies before they get to these big rocks. Some people are saying the democrats give these rocks to destroy the bridges, and it’s something we’ll be looking into.
We’ve got to get these ladies before they get to these big rocks. Some people are saying the democrats give these rocks to destroy the bridges, and it’s something we’ll be looking into.
Probably calling them all together to show off his new push up form, or how his swinging pull ups are actually cool and is now the military standard.
Hegseth orders rare, urgent meeting of hundreds of generals, admirals
The Pentagon has summoned military officials from around the world for a gathering in Virginia. Top generals and their staffs don’t know the reason for the meeting.
www.washingtonpost.com
September 25, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Probably calling them all together to show off his new push up form, or how his swinging pull ups are actually cool and is now the military standard.