Alfred Bitchcock presents...
@goblinsquawk.bsky.social
Nonsense-monger / Literally just some dumbass
now that I have a kid I don't think "for sale: baby shoes, never worn" is sad at all.
Babies grow fast as fuck, they probably just missed the 8.5-day window where the shoes fit.
Babies grow fast as fuck, they probably just missed the 8.5-day window where the shoes fit.
July 11, 2025 at 9:09 PM
now that I have a kid I don't think "for sale: baby shoes, never worn" is sad at all.
Babies grow fast as fuck, they probably just missed the 8.5-day window where the shoes fit.
Babies grow fast as fuck, they probably just missed the 8.5-day window where the shoes fit.
How did Edward scissor hands go pee...
June 19, 2025 at 5:22 AM
How did Edward scissor hands go pee...
I hope somebody understands this... But I just realized that my family is the Red Bear family from the Charmin commercials and my brother's family is the Blue Bear family. And also that which bear family you relate to is some kind of Rorschach test, but for what I have not yet divined
June 7, 2025 at 6:12 AM
I hope somebody understands this... But I just realized that my family is the Red Bear family from the Charmin commercials and my brother's family is the Blue Bear family. And also that which bear family you relate to is some kind of Rorschach test, but for what I have not yet divined
God bless the kid at Target who carded me for buying the 70-calorie kim crawford sav blanc and then exclaimed "you look young! I didn't expect you to be almost 40!"
May 8, 2025 at 4:48 AM
God bless the kid at Target who carded me for buying the 70-calorie kim crawford sav blanc and then exclaimed "you look young! I didn't expect you to be almost 40!"
If you've ever worked for a company that employs a lot of smart and talented people and makes a decent product but all of the executives are fucking morons who think they are way smarter than they actually are, the Democrat party makes a lot more sense
April 18, 2025 at 5:06 PM
If you've ever worked for a company that employs a lot of smart and talented people and makes a decent product but all of the executives are fucking morons who think they are way smarter than they actually are, the Democrat party makes a lot more sense
Sonic's "hand-smashed burgers" like what, instead of an industrial smashing machine?? Who is making machined burgers???
April 5, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Sonic's "hand-smashed burgers" like what, instead of an industrial smashing machine?? Who is making machined burgers???
The How It's Mades where a mixture is being stirred are the shit
March 23, 2025 at 7:29 AM
The How It's Mades where a mixture is being stirred are the shit
I feel bad that so many people don't like snakes. I mean I understand feeling neutral about snakes I guess. But it's sad that people actively dislike them. I feel bad for the snakes and also bad for the people who are depriving themselves from admiring snakes.
March 23, 2025 at 5:30 AM
I feel bad that so many people don't like snakes. I mean I understand feeling neutral about snakes I guess. But it's sad that people actively dislike them. I feel bad for the snakes and also bad for the people who are depriving themselves from admiring snakes.
They should make an app called "are they dead yet" and you sign up for alerts so you can get a push notification when someone horrible dies
February 21, 2025 at 3:59 AM
They should make an app called "are they dead yet" and you sign up for alerts so you can get a push notification when someone horrible dies
The Treasury should have locked our ssns inside glass cases like toothpaste so nobody would bother even going in there
February 6, 2025 at 12:50 AM
The Treasury should have locked our ssns inside glass cases like toothpaste so nobody would bother even going in there
wtf i got chilblains?? What am i miss havisham???
January 27, 2025 at 5:02 PM
wtf i got chilblains?? What am i miss havisham???
Reposted by Alfred Bitchcock presents...
This is a great piece.
"As deportations ramp up again, we have a choice: We can watch as our neighbors disappear or we can build on these proven strategies to protect the diverse communities we've built together."
"As deportations ramp up again, we have a choice: We can watch as our neighbors disappear or we can build on these proven strategies to protect the diverse communities we've built together."
How to Keep Tabs on ICE Agents Who May Be Surveilling Your Neighborhood
Here’s a step-by-step guide.
www.teenvogue.com
January 22, 2025 at 8:29 PM
This is a great piece.
"As deportations ramp up again, we have a choice: We can watch as our neighbors disappear or we can build on these proven strategies to protect the diverse communities we've built together."
"As deportations ramp up again, we have a choice: We can watch as our neighbors disappear or we can build on these proven strategies to protect the diverse communities we've built together."
Listened to Carmina Burana for the first time alongside the translated libretto.
Very revealing. For instance, the wheel of fate can make you rich today but tomorrow might leave you bald or dead.
Additionally, if you are a swan, you should watch the fuck out because someone will eat you.
Very revealing. For instance, the wheel of fate can make you rich today but tomorrow might leave you bald or dead.
Additionally, if you are a swan, you should watch the fuck out because someone will eat you.
January 20, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Listened to Carmina Burana for the first time alongside the translated libretto.
Very revealing. For instance, the wheel of fate can make you rich today but tomorrow might leave you bald or dead.
Additionally, if you are a swan, you should watch the fuck out because someone will eat you.
Very revealing. For instance, the wheel of fate can make you rich today but tomorrow might leave you bald or dead.
Additionally, if you are a swan, you should watch the fuck out because someone will eat you.
I don't want to watch a fucking video!!! Just write the information down so I can read it quickly!!!
i don't want to hear your most boomer complaint. what's your most millennial complaint?
January 15, 2025 at 11:32 PM
I don't want to watch a fucking video!!! Just write the information down so I can read it quickly!!!
What kind of hair ties do we think Roman Reigns uses? Is he a scünci guy or goody or what
January 7, 2025 at 4:35 AM
What kind of hair ties do we think Roman Reigns uses? Is he a scünci guy or goody or what
Not to be all "we used to be a proper country" but i swear at one time going to the drug store used to be fun?? I just walked out of a walgreens and that shit is bleak as hell. You can get a contact depression from a place like that.
January 3, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Not to be all "we used to be a proper country" but i swear at one time going to the drug store used to be fun?? I just walked out of a walgreens and that shit is bleak as hell. You can get a contact depression from a place like that.
Once I called my grandma to day happy new year and she said "new year, same old shit" and i just think that's really wise
January 2, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Once I called my grandma to day happy new year and she said "new year, same old shit" and i just think that's really wise
they should make a The Purge movie but where the purge is only against corporations so you can loot stores without getting in trouble because that's how they pacify the proletariat
January 1, 2025 at 6:39 AM
they should make a The Purge movie but where the purge is only against corporations so you can loot stores without getting in trouble because that's how they pacify the proletariat
actually the -a ending suggests it's a neuter noun so "draculum" would be th singular.
like data and datum
like data and datum
Is one dracula a draculus
December 31, 2024 at 7:00 AM
actually the -a ending suggests it's a neuter noun so "draculum" would be th singular.
like data and datum
like data and datum
Imagine being so psychic and horny you wake up a Dracula 800 miles away
a man in a fur coat is standing in the dark .
Alt: Nosferatu doing an ominous ass peek over his shoulder like "i'm onna getchu" but also with booty call energy somehow
media.tenor.com
December 31, 2024 at 6:01 AM
Imagine being so psychic and horny you wake up a Dracula 800 miles away
*Nosferatu voice*
𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕼1 𝖔𝖐𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖉𝖚𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖐
𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕼1 𝖔𝖐𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖉𝖚𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖐
December 31, 2024 at 4:47 AM
*Nosferatu voice*
𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕼1 𝖔𝖐𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖉𝖚𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖐
𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕼1 𝖔𝖐𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖉𝖚𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖐
me, investigating which cat barfed in the shower
!["Maybe it isn't a beast MAN we're looking for after all.." [Agent Mulder looking at a cartoon drawing of a bigfoot with a huge rack (emphasis original)]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:7wqromqieruqysjrkqihpmxt/bafkreigdem4hd6lqw4y7yp76aucstl6p3q7uh7t2p6gilsjiuoj2f5ybd4@jpeg)
December 31, 2024 at 12:01 AM
me, investigating which cat barfed in the shower
More like NosfeRATu
Also who found this unhelpful, this is the exact information I went into imdb's trivia section looking for
Also who found this unhelpful, this is the exact information I went into imdb's trivia section looking for
December 30, 2024 at 11:17 PM
More like NosfeRATu
Also who found this unhelpful, this is the exact information I went into imdb's trivia section looking for
Also who found this unhelpful, this is the exact information I went into imdb's trivia section looking for
actually it's Berenstain's Bear
December 27, 2024 at 12:23 AM
actually it's Berenstain's Bear