copy paste 5 hours later: exhausted and brain is bad

is there a reason it happened? of course some is just personal preference but it just sounds like the worst kind of filler every time he speaks

incredible!!!

My mother in law dropped the Christmas ham on the floor one year. Someone quipped “Floorham!” and now anytime a ham is cooked, it’s floorham.

So many people are enjoying this that I think I should drop @cryptidchicken.bsky.social’s tip jar and also let everyone know they have SO MANY MORE stories and they are all just as good!!
ko-fi.com/gallusrostro...

My favorite holiday food story has to be @cryptidchicken.bsky.social’s Turkey Story www.tumblr.com/gallusrostro...

Christmas morning my mom baked 2 pumpkin pies to take to Grandma’s feast. She left them on the dining table to cool.

When we returned from church, our Sheltie dog had a guilty look. He had jumped up, licked a pie, didn’t like it, then licked the other pie to see if it was better. Nope 👎

One year my dad undercooked the turkey but it was well brined so we didn’t notice it at first. But as we got closer to the bones things got pink. Dad was so disappointed. my teenage brother’s friend, also a teen, assured him “don’t worry, this turkey is not a referendum on your love for your family”

My aunt dropped the gravy while preparing to bring it out to the dining room and she sopped it up with paper towels and squeezed it back into the gravy boat.

My ambitious gingerbread house collapsed so dramatically and to such joy amongst the youngest members of the family, that I am required to make a structurally unsound gingerbread building for demolition every year. Fortunately not that difficult.

Not my family, obviously, but I dig this up to scream at annually.

youtu.be/qUv_FAL2jik?...

My aunt who famously can’t cook tried to make a pumpkin pie. She didn’t know what cloves were, so she put garlic cloves in it. Whole.

this entire thread I am WHEEZING laughing oh my God

just don't be an idiot!!!! goddammit Alex