Funkit Toys
@funkittoys.bsky.social
modular sexperiments, budget friendly dildos, and silly toys to make sex more fun.
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Funkit Toys
@funkittoys.bsky.social
· Nov 8
The past tense of vibrator is vibratored.
The plural of vibrator is vibratrices.
The plural of vibrator is vibratrices.
Funkit Toys Joke Threads Masterpost.
in case of finding dick jokes funny, tap glass:
in case of finding dick jokes funny, tap glass:
apparently a lot happened yesterday? i heard about MTG and Zohran casting a charm spell on trump, what did i miss?
November 22, 2025 at 5:10 PM
apparently a lot happened yesterday? i heard about MTG and Zohran casting a charm spell on trump, what did i miss?
i will ALWAYS use usps over any alternative, posties rule
A U.S. postal worker on Long Island is accused of trying to help a man escape from ICE custody earlier this month, according to a federal criminal complaint: https://gothamist.visitlink.me/YNagDp
US postal worker charged with breaking man out of ICE custody on Long Island
Police arrested the worker and the man she tried to free.
gothamist.visitlink.me
November 21, 2025 at 5:50 AM
i will ALWAYS use usps over any alternative, posties rule
Thank you so much to everyone who got a NoFrillDo last week! it's gonna help make a lot of people more food secure, the place not only hands out food but teaches cooking and restaurant skills to teens, does nutrition classes, and imso much more. Thanks for helping me support them.
November 19, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Thank you so much to everyone who got a NoFrillDo last week! it's gonna help make a lot of people more food secure, the place not only hands out food but teaches cooking and restaurant skills to teens, does nutrition classes, and imso much more. Thanks for helping me support them.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
And, also, if you run a business that regularly purchases shipping supplies: ULINE is run by some of the worst people on Earth. Get your boxes and tape elsewhere.
Remember: don't eat the mid tier fast food chicken, don't play the wizard game, don't shop at the hobby store run by the bad guys from Indiana Jones, and don't donate to the bigot bucket.
I know it's a tad early but I know those bitches with the buckets will be out soon. Don't gove them a penny. The volunteers may not know but the salvation army is no ally and actively combative and harmful to many queer minorities especially during the holiday season
November 19, 2025 at 6:12 PM
And, also, if you run a business that regularly purchases shipping supplies: ULINE is run by some of the worst people on Earth. Get your boxes and tape elsewhere.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Woohoo Halloween Hack job is here!
Thank you @funkittoys.bsky.social ! The splatter is perfect, and I love how slappy the blade is 🤩
Thank you @funkittoys.bsky.social ! The splatter is perfect, and I love how slappy the blade is 🤩
November 19, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Woohoo Halloween Hack job is here!
Thank you @funkittoys.bsky.social ! The splatter is perfect, and I love how slappy the blade is 🤩
Thank you @funkittoys.bsky.social ! The splatter is perfect, and I love how slappy the blade is 🤩
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Free anti-ICE whistle with your order on request, i've printed 16 tonight
November 19, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Free anti-ICE whistle with your order on request, i've printed 16 tonight
for my fellow makers with 3D printers: makerworld.com/en/models/19...
ICE OUT Whistle Keychain Open License Support-Free by ThreeLittleBirds 3D MakerWorld: Download Free 3D Models
🔹 TLDR: A loud, lightweight ICE OUT whistle that prints perfectly with no supports and is free for commercial use.Created to help communities alert neighbors when ICE agents are nearby, it empowe...
makerworld.com
November 19, 2025 at 3:21 AM
for my fellow makers with 3D printers: makerworld.com/en/models/19...
Reposted by Funkit Toys
The first buttplug was actually a fence post that someone just fell on, honest.
September 11, 2025 at 5:25 AM
The first buttplug was actually a fence post that someone just fell on, honest.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
The hottest sex you can have is on top of an erupting volcano. The hottest sex you can have more than once is in a comfortable relationship where you feel safe to express your desires and have them taken seriously.
November 11, 2024 at 5:05 PM
The hottest sex you can have is on top of an erupting volcano. The hottest sex you can have more than once is in a comfortable relationship where you feel safe to express your desires and have them taken seriously.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
An average person has sex with about eight different partners. A mean person has sex with as many people as they want, because there's no end of people who want to get stepped on and called names.
November 11, 2024 at 5:04 PM
An average person has sex with about eight different partners. A mean person has sex with as many people as they want, because there's no end of people who want to get stepped on and called names.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
The term "Cock Block" is a slang term for the Bundling Board, an early method of premarital sex prevention which involved putting an immovable board down the middle of a bed, between the couple. This is also where some of the more inventive sex positions come from.
May 13, 2023 at 11:44 PM
The term "Cock Block" is a slang term for the Bundling Board, an early method of premarital sex prevention which involved putting an immovable board down the middle of a bed, between the couple. This is also where some of the more inventive sex positions come from.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
The word bisexual comes from the Latin "sexualis", which refers to sex, and the Greek "bi", meaning "totally rad at".
May 13, 2023 at 11:43 PM
The word bisexual comes from the Latin "sexualis", which refers to sex, and the Greek "bi", meaning "totally rad at".
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Sexual orientation is the ability to find north using only your genitals. A gender is a person who gends.
May 13, 2023 at 3:19 AM
Sexual orientation is the ability to find north using only your genitals. A gender is a person who gends.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
If your porn doesn't feature visible penetration, it's softcore. If it does feature visible penetration, it's hardcore. if it features a lion with the tail of a scorpion, it's manticore.
December 13, 2024 at 3:52 PM
If your porn doesn't feature visible penetration, it's softcore. If it does feature visible penetration, it's hardcore. if it features a lion with the tail of a scorpion, it's manticore.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Bisexuals have sex twice. Asexuals only have sex with a score of 91 or higher. Heterosexuals only have sex they haven't had before. Homosexuals only bang humans.
Pansexuals have sex in the wilderness to honor their goatman god.
Pansexuals have sex in the wilderness to honor their goatman god.
May 13, 2023 at 3:11 PM
Bisexuals have sex twice. Asexuals only have sex with a score of 91 or higher. Heterosexuals only have sex they haven't had before. Homosexuals only bang humans.
Pansexuals have sex in the wilderness to honor their goatman god.
Pansexuals have sex in the wilderness to honor their goatman god.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Up until the late nineteenth century, a dildo was a common wedding gift, but that changed with the much sexier invention of the electric waffle iron.
May 13, 2023 at 3:08 PM
Up until the late nineteenth century, a dildo was a common wedding gift, but that changed with the much sexier invention of the electric waffle iron.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
A double ended dildo is creatively called a "double dildo".
A double ended buttplug is called a buttsplug.
A double ended buttplug is called a buttsplug.
May 13, 2023 at 2:58 PM
A double ended dildo is creatively called a "double dildo".
A double ended buttplug is called a buttsplug.
A double ended buttplug is called a buttsplug.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
When a bullet vibe isn't enough, try an egg vibe.
When an egg vibe isn't enough, try a wand vibe.
When a wand isn't enough, try a riding vibe.
When a riding vibe isn't enough, try sitting on a fault line and waiting.
When an earthquake isn't enough, try a 26 year old Honda Civic.
When an egg vibe isn't enough, try a wand vibe.
When a wand isn't enough, try a riding vibe.
When a riding vibe isn't enough, try sitting on a fault line and waiting.
When an earthquake isn't enough, try a 26 year old Honda Civic.
May 13, 2023 at 2:48 PM
When a bullet vibe isn't enough, try an egg vibe.
When an egg vibe isn't enough, try a wand vibe.
When a wand isn't enough, try a riding vibe.
When a riding vibe isn't enough, try sitting on a fault line and waiting.
When an earthquake isn't enough, try a 26 year old Honda Civic.
When an egg vibe isn't enough, try a wand vibe.
When a wand isn't enough, try a riding vibe.
When a riding vibe isn't enough, try sitting on a fault line and waiting.
When an earthquake isn't enough, try a 26 year old Honda Civic.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Never trust anyone who gets mad when you say "ATM Machine" but not when you say "assless chaps".
May 13, 2023 at 3:17 AM
Never trust anyone who gets mad when you say "ATM Machine" but not when you say "assless chaps".
Reposted by Funkit Toys
A staple food of the native people of Trobriand was a yam which made pregnancy less common. Because of this, they believed pregnancy happened when an ancestral spirit got tired of being a ghost and decided to be a baby instead.
They were correct, semen is actually ectoplasm and balls are haunted.
They were correct, semen is actually ectoplasm and balls are haunted.
May 13, 2023 at 12:25 AM
A staple food of the native people of Trobriand was a yam which made pregnancy less common. Because of this, they believed pregnancy happened when an ancestral spirit got tired of being a ghost and decided to be a baby instead.
They were correct, semen is actually ectoplasm and balls are haunted.
They were correct, semen is actually ectoplasm and balls are haunted.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Asstronomy is the study of the butt. Asstrology is a list of assumptions about people based on the time of their birth, which is totally different from assigning gender in other ways. Totally.
May 13, 2023 at 12:19 AM
Asstronomy is the study of the butt. Asstrology is a list of assumptions about people based on the time of their birth, which is totally different from assigning gender in other ways. Totally.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
A person who explores the butt is an asstronaut. Russian butt explorers are called cossmonauts.
May 13, 2023 at 12:18 AM
A person who explores the butt is an asstronaut. Russian butt explorers are called cossmonauts.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
Due to our use of plumage to attract mates and love of flashy memes, ornithologists believe queer people to be a kind of bird of paradise. If asked about this by an ornithologist, spread your arms, puff out your chest, jump up and down, and whistle.
They can never know.
They can never know.
May 13, 2023 at 12:09 AM
Due to our use of plumage to attract mates and love of flashy memes, ornithologists believe queer people to be a kind of bird of paradise. If asked about this by an ornithologist, spread your arms, puff out your chest, jump up and down, and whistle.
They can never know.
They can never know.
Reposted by Funkit Toys
If you have two silicone dildos, keep them in separate containers. It's not that they'll melt together, that's not a thing, they're just solitary creatures and depending on the sexes of the dildos and other factors like tank size, they might eat each other.
May 12, 2023 at 11:28 PM
If you have two silicone dildos, keep them in separate containers. It's not that they'll melt together, that's not a thing, they're just solitary creatures and depending on the sexes of the dildos and other factors like tank size, they might eat each other.