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funkittoys.bsky.social
Funkit Toys
@funkittoys.bsky.social
4.4K followers 620 following 6.3K posts
modular sexperiments, budget friendly dildos, and silly toys to make sex more fun.
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funkittoys.com
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funkittoys.bsky.social
In the interest of raising even more money this weekend for my local food pantry/culinary skills youth training center (they're cool!) I'm releasing a long planned addition to the lineup of Frills available for NoFrillDos: another dildo. Customize your double-dos!

www.funkittoys.com/product-page...
a pair of brightly colored dildos of different shapes fused together at the base.
November 15, 2025 at 12:48 AM
funkittoys.bsky.social
next time you need fish sex toys, call me!

www.funkittoys.com/product-page...
a silicone fish paddle on a cutting board with a knife a large silicone fish held like a tinder bro's fish pic by a guy in a tinder bro costume (pink polo, salmon boat shorts, cheap aviators, orange boat ballcap)
November 11, 2025 at 1:26 AM
funkittoys.bsky.social
image of John Waters with a quote of his, reading, "Remember, pornographers have always been on our side. Brave, ready to fight for our rights. Smut is our friend."
November 10, 2025 at 10:18 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
Alright everyone, we raised $33.50 this first week! you're all awesome and i appreciate you helping my community. there's a lot of need in my area, and i found a great group to send it to. Dunno what's going on with the shutdown right now but i'm gonna keep donating until i know SNAP is funded.
a scrwenshot of a receipt for a donation of 33.50 to U Empower of MD, a local community pantry that offers restaurant training, classes, food, meals, and other excellent programs to the surrounding community.
November 10, 2025 at 7:45 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
TODAY ONLY! Order a Whackoff or a Hackjob and if you ask in the notes i'll give you a blood spattered blade!

www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

www.funkittoys.com/product-page...
two silicone axe toys with blood drips on the blade
October 31, 2025 at 5:14 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
POMPKIN TIEM
close up of a pumpkin carved into a skull, with individually carved teeth, a jaw, and cheekbones bare of orange skin
October 29, 2025 at 9:58 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
Looking for a dildo, but don't have a lot of dil dough to spend on one? NoFrillDos are designed to be simple, safe, and affordable!

They come in Shapes, and have colors!

funkittoys.com/nofrilldo
a bin full of colorful dildos in various shapes and colors
October 28, 2025 at 6:30 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
TEN DAYS LEFT TO GET YE CANDY CORNE BUTTEPLUGS

Also, if you order an axe toy on Halloween and axe nicely in the comments, you can get a *new, like used* bloody axe!

www.funkittoys.com/product-page...
a hand holding two silicone axes in different sizes with blood splatter down the edge of the blade a hand holding two silicone axes in different sizes with blood splatter down the edge of the blade a set of three differently sized candy corn buttplugs
October 21, 2025 at 4:32 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
With Halloween rapidly approaching, the Candy Corn Buttplugs will be going away on the 31st, and on that very day, if you order an axe toy and axe nicely in the notes, you can get a *new, like used* axe! blood drippies!

funkittoys.com
October 21, 2025 at 4:19 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
nice
a screenshot of the skeet with 69 likes, one of them by me
October 18, 2025 at 7:33 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
seriously, who is this little guy? where's he going?
a red, two door squashed round 90s suv. What are you doing, little guy? what's your deal? the world would be better if cars like you stuck around.
October 18, 2025 at 4:31 AM
funkittoys.bsky.social
Of course women don't like the Cybertruck.

Women only want one thing, and it's this 3000 pound perpetually bewildered mouse-shaped bundle of glitches wrapped in fine Italian electrical engineering Fiat made exclusively to comply with california law
a robin's egg blue fiat 500e, a teeny little car that drives like mario kart
October 17, 2025 at 11:10 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
oh hey, anither twitter exodus, huh? Dildos. Dildos dildo dildos buttplugs sex toys.
a Kenton in a bright pink shirt and bright yellow-green hoodie, behind a table covered in sex toys at a vending event
October 15, 2025 at 7:43 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
hear me out,

www.funkittoys.com/product-page...
three varyingly sized candy corn shaped and colored buttplugs sitting in a pot full of candy corn.
September 24, 2025 at 1:56 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
nice0
a screenshot of the main skeet with 690 likes
September 16, 2025 at 3:14 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
Every year i lead you further from god's light. Candy corn buttplugs have returned to haunt your timeline.

www.funkittoys.com/product-page...
three buttplugs of varied size, all colored and shaped like candy corn, in a pot of actual candy corn on a blue background.
September 13, 2025 at 10:57 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
if you like *satisfying* packaging, check out how an order of fish paddle and couch fit together. if they weren't silicone they would have *clicked*.
a cardboard box packed to the edges with a round shape wrapped in white paper perfectly framing a clear pouch with a black squishy couch in it.
September 5, 2025 at 8:05 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
i'll let the president tell you if he's still alive
a screenshot of a skeet from independent journalist Marisa Kabas stating "Trump says we're gonna be announcing something "in teo weeks" with regard to religious liberty"
September 2, 2025 at 7:35 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
okay, weird, hopefully final detail. I noticed this earlier, but time has made it more noticeable. It appears the beet powder primarily dyes the pasta, while leaving the sauce mostly orange.
pink pasta in a pot coated in pale orange sauce
August 25, 2025 at 8:24 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
okay, you all were here the whole time, can *any* of you tell me what just happened
the bowl, empty, aside from some sauce
August 25, 2025 at 7:11 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
i've decided to serve this in a lovely cranberry colored bowl, to soften the blow of my imminent death with ~*aesthetics*~.
pink mac and cheese in a clear purple corningware bowl. pray for me.
August 25, 2025 at 7:05 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
here's a before and after. I elected to follow the instructions exactly and include the nauseating full four tablespoons of butter, as instructed, rather than my usual two. The color is, in a word, alarming.
a normal pot of normal kraft mac and cheese a very not normal pot of very not normal beet magenta kraft mac and cheese
August 25, 2025 at 7:02 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
bafflingly, the packet is colored with beetroot powder. It's an alarmingly organic concoction, like walking to your death expecting firing squads and being met with a wooden club to the top of the head
a shot down the barrel of a packet of pink powder
August 25, 2025 at 7:00 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
most of you know me as the dildo guy but those of you who know me or have followed me for a long time know that i am also a prolific food criminal. Today, we're exploring and reviewing one of the most heinous crimes i've ever witnessed: Canada's Kraft Dinner Flavor Boosts.

Specifically, this one.
the background: a pot boiling with macaroni elbows. The foreground: a kraft flavor additive packet with sickeningly hot pink noodles, labeled simply, "cotton candy" and also "barbe à papa", because canada
August 25, 2025 at 6:44 PM
funkittoys.bsky.social
so this 16th century italian jar i saw in an art museum last wednesday isn't art?
August 15, 2025 at 7:14 PM