Once again I am denied my Christmas #1 owing to the industry-wide blackout on my undeniable holiday classic “Intrusive Sex Thoughts Christmas”

Merry Christmas! And many warm greetings to Bluesky - y'all are the reason I turned my idea into reality.

youtu.be/kTctVqjhDEw

Merry Christmas to everyone in one of the good countries where it’s already Christmas. Everyone else can eat shit!

My biggest question watching the Superman trailer was who the fuck is this loser?

Probably the best time in history to be a mathematician was around 600 BC when you could get rich just for discovering triangles

*loading a gun* I am going to show you all the true meaning of christmas

6/6

I still genuinely get pissed off when I think about YouTube removing annotations for literally no reason.

I would like to feed him More Peppers

Awww he noticed the extinction meteor before I did 😍

brand new diner serves coke the normal way

that one friend that's too bluesky

it would be so funny if this is how his presidency ended. months before his term ends, he just walks into the rainforest and is never seen again

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor

joe biden needs to spend every second of his lame duck presidency working to pack the white house with increasingly violent dogs