I reckon the Stars win the cup.

Marty [Chloe Grace Moretz]: let me get this straight Doc, you built a time machine out of a Cybertruck??

Doc [Dwayne The Rock Johnson for some reason]: a-doy, Marty

Asked Bing Image Creator to make my dog's rap album cover

Zombies don't mess with other zombies. Buddy of mine, makeup guy, he showed me how to do this. Corn starch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies. Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff. Just played nine holes on the Riviera. Just walked on. Nobody there.

LA Rams wide receiver depth chart...Puka Nacua Tutu Van Kupp...sounds like lyrics from Sgt. Pepper

Tomorrow is October, and we'll be another day closer to The Kasey Musgraves Christmas Show season

The new Robocop reboot looks like ass

Earbuds cut off in the grocery store while I was singing along to "Balls to the Wall"

Who's responsible for pairing bacon and eggs? Who did that shit first? It's an all-time top 5 food combo, and I feel like it should be common knowledge. Like the Earl of Sandwich, Frank Furter, and the dog who makes Bush's Beans

My thought here is that money doesn't buy happiness, it buys *margin*: The ability to deal with the shit the world just throws at you. If you have no margin, life is extremely stressful. With margin, you can deal. Lack of stress is not happiness, but it leaves more emotional space *for* happiness.

me: what’s crazy is that rudy giuliani first rose to fame because of 9/11

teen born in 2006: ohh. like he helped do it

me: ok no, but i see how you got there

until healthcare is free you should be able to buy any hormone, steroid or recreational drug over the counter. it's incredible that we dont have rights to our own endocrine systems. there should also be a pill that reverses the effects of eating too much hot dogs and it should come with the hot dogs

Society, if Dune 2 wasn't pushed to 2024

What the chicken nuggets in my microwave see at 3AM:

That's what I'm taco-n bout!

Brainstorming my catch phrase. "It's TACO time"
"That's what I'm taco-n bout"
"It's Tac-o-clock somewhere"

I didn't eat lunch

As promised in my bio...my targets in the first three rounds of fantasy football drafts are Bijan Robinson, Tyreek Hill, and Justin Herbert. With his new OC, 40 passing touchdowns, 3 rushing scores, and 5k yards for Herbert

This is my dog. There are many like him, but this one is mine. My dog is my best friend