Whitney 🏁🍂
@f1whitney.coys.social
Weird girl in court with even weirder machine. ⚖️ Anemic & Sleepy. #COYS 🤍 #ForzaFerrari 🔴
All my opinions are correct and peer-reviewed.
Bantz Merchant. 🤟🏻
All my opinions are correct and peer-reviewed.
Bantz Merchant. 🤟🏻
Pinned
Special shout out to Sky Sports Halo™️©️®️ for helping me understand sportz and fall in love with F1 + THFC.
Couldn’t have done it without you! 🫡
P.S. GOTH AWAY KIT SUPREMACY 🖤
Couldn’t have done it without you! 🫡
P.S. GOTH AWAY KIT SUPREMACY 🖤
I’m sorry, but I’m howling laughing at the concept of getting a “voter report card” in the mail today. 😭
Apparently I’m above average.
My parents would be so disappointed as we disagree on fundamentally everything politically. 🥰🫶🏻
Apparently I’m above average.
My parents would be so disappointed as we disagree on fundamentally everything politically. 🥰🫶🏻
November 15, 2025 at 2:03 PM
I’m sorry, but I’m howling laughing at the concept of getting a “voter report card” in the mail today. 😭
Apparently I’m above average.
My parents would be so disappointed as we disagree on fundamentally everything politically. 🥰🫶🏻
Apparently I’m above average.
My parents would be so disappointed as we disagree on fundamentally everything politically. 🥰🫶🏻
It’s just kind of rude F1 *and* Spurs didn’t ask me if I’d be good by myself this weekend.
Like, no. I need my emotional-support sports.
They’re lucky I don’t hold grudges. 😭
Like, no. I need my emotional-support sports.
They’re lucky I don’t hold grudges. 😭
November 15, 2025 at 1:36 PM
It’s just kind of rude F1 *and* Spurs didn’t ask me if I’d be good by myself this weekend.
Like, no. I need my emotional-support sports.
They’re lucky I don’t hold grudges. 😭
Like, no. I need my emotional-support sports.
They’re lucky I don’t hold grudges. 😭
Get to know your mutuals. List ten random things you like
1. Beating Man City
2. Red Bull DNFs
3. Sweet men
4. Making you laugh
5. Halloween
6. The lost of art of hand stuff (fingering)
7. The Riot Grrrl Movement
8. John Mulaney
9. A good, hard cry
10. Sleeping in; no alarms set.
1. Beating Man City
2. Red Bull DNFs
3. Sweet men
4. Making you laugh
5. Halloween
6. The lost of art of hand stuff (fingering)
7. The Riot Grrrl Movement
8. John Mulaney
9. A good, hard cry
10. Sleeping in; no alarms set.
Get to know your mutuals. List ten random things you like
1. Raindrops on roses
2. Whiskers on kittens
3. Bright copper kettles
3. Warm woolen mittens
4. Brown paper packages tied up with strings
1. Raindrops on roses
2. Whiskers on kittens
3. Bright copper kettles
3. Warm woolen mittens
4. Brown paper packages tied up with strings
Get to know your mutuals. List ten random things you like
1. Crunchy peanut butter
2. Star Wars
3. Sitting in the car while it's going through a car wash
3. Poetry of all kinds
4. Big pants
5. Going bra-less
6. Big socks
7. Eminem
8. Street food
9. Watching opera & ballet
10. Puns
1. Crunchy peanut butter
2. Star Wars
3. Sitting in the car while it's going through a car wash
3. Poetry of all kinds
4. Big pants
5. Going bra-less
6. Big socks
7. Eminem
8. Street food
9. Watching opera & ballet
10. Puns
November 15, 2025 at 11:17 AM
Get to know your mutuals. List ten random things you like
1. Beating Man City
2. Red Bull DNFs
3. Sweet men
4. Making you laugh
5. Halloween
6. The lost of art of hand stuff (fingering)
7. The Riot Grrrl Movement
8. John Mulaney
9. A good, hard cry
10. Sleeping in; no alarms set.
1. Beating Man City
2. Red Bull DNFs
3. Sweet men
4. Making you laugh
5. Halloween
6. The lost of art of hand stuff (fingering)
7. The Riot Grrrl Movement
8. John Mulaney
9. A good, hard cry
10. Sleeping in; no alarms set.
I love staying up late on weekends. Heaven on earth.
November 15, 2025 at 9:43 AM
I love staying up late on weekends. Heaven on earth.
There are so many coyotes in my side yard fighting right now it sounds like they’re properly killing each other.
November 15, 2025 at 9:15 AM
There are so many coyotes in my side yard fighting right now it sounds like they’re properly killing each other.
I only see my therapist every other month now, but our main goal is tackling my childhood emotional abuse, so I get a lot of targeted ads lately.
The last example in this graphic was my childhood + adulthood experience.
The last example in this graphic was my childhood + adulthood experience.
November 15, 2025 at 6:57 AM
I only see my therapist every other month now, but our main goal is tackling my childhood emotional abuse, so I get a lot of targeted ads lately.
The last example in this graphic was my childhood + adulthood experience.
The last example in this graphic was my childhood + adulthood experience.
The wonders this did for my confidence lmao. I remember it like it was yesterday. 😭
There is nothing more terrifying than youths yelling something at you until you realize they’re kind of flirting and you’re not ancient (YET!) at 32. 😆
There is nothing more terrifying than youths yelling something at you until you realize they’re kind of flirting and you’re not ancient (YET!) at 32. 😆
November 15, 2025 at 6:14 AM
The wonders this did for my confidence lmao. I remember it like it was yesterday. 😭
There is nothing more terrifying than youths yelling something at you until you realize they’re kind of flirting and you’re not ancient (YET!) at 32. 😆
There is nothing more terrifying than youths yelling something at you until you realize they’re kind of flirting and you’re not ancient (YET!) at 32. 😆
The most libbed-out thing about me is I absolutely watch Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night.
And John Oliver on Sundays.
FIGHT ME.
And John Oliver on Sundays.
FIGHT ME.
November 15, 2025 at 4:20 AM
The most libbed-out thing about me is I absolutely watch Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night.
And John Oliver on Sundays.
FIGHT ME.
And John Oliver on Sundays.
FIGHT ME.
November 15, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Special shout out to Sky Sports Halo™️©️®️ for helping me understand sportz and fall in love with F1 + THFC.
Couldn’t have done it without you! 🫡
P.S. GOTH AWAY KIT SUPREMACY 🖤
Couldn’t have done it without you! 🫡
P.S. GOTH AWAY KIT SUPREMACY 🖤
November 15, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Special shout out to Sky Sports Halo™️©️®️ for helping me understand sportz and fall in love with F1 + THFC.
Couldn’t have done it without you! 🫡
P.S. GOTH AWAY KIT SUPREMACY 🖤
Couldn’t have done it without you! 🫡
P.S. GOTH AWAY KIT SUPREMACY 🖤
My cousin has started building his new house on my road!
Drove past him working today on the way home. It’s like a mile from me!
Honestly super excited about this.
He’s helpful + nice + handy + has two teen boys that I will absolutely pay to do my yard work. 😆
(Makes me feel safer too!)
Drove past him working today on the way home. It’s like a mile from me!
Honestly super excited about this.
He’s helpful + nice + handy + has two teen boys that I will absolutely pay to do my yard work. 😆
(Makes me feel safer too!)
November 14, 2025 at 8:52 PM
My cousin has started building his new house on my road!
Drove past him working today on the way home. It’s like a mile from me!
Honestly super excited about this.
He’s helpful + nice + handy + has two teen boys that I will absolutely pay to do my yard work. 😆
(Makes me feel safer too!)
Drove past him working today on the way home. It’s like a mile from me!
Honestly super excited about this.
He’s helpful + nice + handy + has two teen boys that I will absolutely pay to do my yard work. 😆
(Makes me feel safer too!)
A court officer came up to me and said, “That’s a Young Sheldon-ass shirt,” and I’ve never felt so roasted IN MY LIFE lmao. 😭😭😭
November 14, 2025 at 6:12 PM
A court officer came up to me and said, “That’s a Young Sheldon-ass shirt,” and I’ve never felt so roasted IN MY LIFE lmao. 😭😭😭
Oh shit.
I’m working a motion on a death penalty case as soon as we go on the record this morning.
The entire courthouse is PACKED; the elected DA is here.
I’m sweating. 😅
I’m working a motion on a death penalty case as soon as we go on the record this morning.
The entire courthouse is PACKED; the elected DA is here.
I’m sweating. 😅
November 14, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Oh shit.
I’m working a motion on a death penalty case as soon as we go on the record this morning.
The entire courthouse is PACKED; the elected DA is here.
I’m sweating. 😅
I’m working a motion on a death penalty case as soon as we go on the record this morning.
The entire courthouse is PACKED; the elected DA is here.
I’m sweating. 😅
Fizzy soda for my work commute = Obtained ✅
November 14, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Fizzy soda for my work commute = Obtained ✅
I am having such a diabolical craving for a crisp, fountain soda that I think I may actually have to stop and get one on the way to work.
November 14, 2025 at 12:26 PM
I am having such a diabolical craving for a crisp, fountain soda that I think I may actually have to stop and get one on the way to work.
My trial for next week got continued so I just need to get this last in-person day over with then I’m WFH for three weeks.
(Which I really need to push out a giant trial transcript order.)
#TGIF, etc.
(Which I really need to push out a giant trial transcript order.)
#TGIF, etc.
November 14, 2025 at 11:02 AM
My trial for next week got continued so I just need to get this last in-person day over with then I’m WFH for three weeks.
(Which I really need to push out a giant trial transcript order.)
#TGIF, etc.
(Which I really need to push out a giant trial transcript order.)
#TGIF, etc.
I love these little Publix oven meals when I’m too lazy to cook.
November 14, 2025 at 2:50 AM
I love these little Publix oven meals when I’m too lazy to cook.
Went to pick up my prescriptions and this guy in a giant truck said:
“Is your car an electric?”
And I said:
“Nah, hybrid.”
He said:
“Hybrid.”
And just shut his door.
All in a neutral tone.
No idea how to read that interaction.
😂
“Is your car an electric?”
And I said:
“Nah, hybrid.”
He said:
“Hybrid.”
And just shut his door.
All in a neutral tone.
No idea how to read that interaction.
😂
November 14, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Went to pick up my prescriptions and this guy in a giant truck said:
“Is your car an electric?”
And I said:
“Nah, hybrid.”
He said:
“Hybrid.”
And just shut his door.
All in a neutral tone.
No idea how to read that interaction.
😂
“Is your car an electric?”
And I said:
“Nah, hybrid.”
He said:
“Hybrid.”
And just shut his door.
All in a neutral tone.
No idea how to read that interaction.
😂
Managed to sync up both monthly prescriptions today.
I am a GOD.
*bows*
🙇🏼♀️
I am a GOD.
*bows*
🙇🏼♀️
November 13, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Managed to sync up both monthly prescriptions today.
I am a GOD.
*bows*
🙇🏼♀️
I am a GOD.
*bows*
🙇🏼♀️
This will expose me for the Tennesseean and neighbor Nashvillian I am, but I am obsessed with Margo Price lately.
I first met her through a Nashville episode of Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and I’ve adored her since.
She reminds me of Dolly; she’s that good.
youtu.be/LtxUDSRfmto?...
I first met her through a Nashville episode of Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and I’ve adored her since.
She reminds me of Dolly; she’s that good.
youtu.be/LtxUDSRfmto?...
Margo Price - Hurtin' (On The Bottle) [Official Video]
YouTube video by OfficialTMR
youtu.be
November 13, 2025 at 5:42 AM
This will expose me for the Tennesseean and neighbor Nashvillian I am, but I am obsessed with Margo Price lately.
I first met her through a Nashville episode of Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and I’ve adored her since.
She reminds me of Dolly; she’s that good.
youtu.be/LtxUDSRfmto?...
I first met her through a Nashville episode of Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and I’ve adored her since.
She reminds me of Dolly; she’s that good.
youtu.be/LtxUDSRfmto?...
Reposted by Whitney 🏁🍂
love a man wearing slutty little glasses
November 12, 2025 at 7:10 PM
love a man wearing slutty little glasses
They reached out today, for real. Made me so happy. 🥰🫶🏻
Discord ghost-pinged me a DM from someone I miss tonight.
Kind of cruel honestly. 🥲
Kind of cruel honestly. 🥲
November 13, 2025 at 4:37 AM
They reached out today, for real. Made me so happy. 🥰🫶🏻
The latest episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver tackles felony murder.
I’m about to watch it and I’m so pumped.
This is one of those topics I could easily do a thirty-minute presentation on, unprompted.
Probably way longer actually. 😆
I’m about to watch it and I’m so pumped.
This is one of those topics I could easily do a thirty-minute presentation on, unprompted.
Probably way longer actually. 😆
November 13, 2025 at 2:30 AM
The latest episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver tackles felony murder.
I’m about to watch it and I’m so pumped.
This is one of those topics I could easily do a thirty-minute presentation on, unprompted.
Probably way longer actually. 😆
I’m about to watch it and I’m so pumped.
This is one of those topics I could easily do a thirty-minute presentation on, unprompted.
Probably way longer actually. 😆
My favorite part of today was when a new ADA came up to me on recess to ask how my machine works.
I gave him the basics but then showed him some of my “tricks,” which attracted a crowd. (1/2)
I gave him the basics but then showed him some of my “tricks,” which attracted a crowd. (1/2)
November 13, 2025 at 2:04 AM
My favorite part of today was when a new ADA came up to me on recess to ask how my machine works.
I gave him the basics but then showed him some of my “tricks,” which attracted a crowd. (1/2)
I gave him the basics but then showed him some of my “tricks,” which attracted a crowd. (1/2)
All right. Jury is deliberating now. I hope it’s not a long wait - ready to goooooo!
November 12, 2025 at 9:00 PM
All right. Jury is deliberating now. I hope it’s not a long wait - ready to goooooo!