Em MacKenzie
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emilymackenz.bsky.social
Em MacKenzie
@emilymackenz.bsky.social
800 followers 410 following 1.8K posts
yeg-based queer AuDHD mom of 2, working in tech and making bad art with great enthusiasm. she/her
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emilymackenz.bsky.social
The difference between me and the Instagram adhd crowd is that I am actually GETTING THESE EMAILS MY INBOX IS FULL OF THEM AAAGGGHHH DO YOU GUYS NOT GET THE EMAILS??
Screenshot of a post that says “every day I wait for the email that says ‘you’re in BIG trouble and everyone is mad at you’”
November 27, 2025 at 4:20 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
My niece has discovered The Black Parade and her random unsolicited MCR texts make me so happy
Screenshot of text messages from my niece reading: Today 10:37 AM 1. Mama 2. Welcome to the black parade 3. I don't love you 4. The end 5. Cancer 6. Dead 7. Disenchanted 8. Famous last words 9. Teenagers 10. Sleep 11. The sharpest lives 12. House of wolves 13. This is how I disappear My black parade ranking But l like all of them and the ranks are changing very quickly 3-5 are lowkey all tied
November 18, 2025 at 10:17 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Wouldn’t confess to this with a gun to my head
Screenshot from Facebook: Dull Women's Club I splurged on this 26 months aged cheese, it was supposed to be the centerpiece of a charcuterie board. My plans got canceled on me, we never had the get together, but instead of bringing in the cheese l've been keeping it in my car and taking bites out of it from time to time. Usually as a little reward for accomplishing a task or as a treat to hype myself up...for example, I took a pre grocery shopping bite I live in Maine, but even here it's warming up, so I'll have to bring it in and put it in the fridge I suppose. Or should I just finish it right here, right now, in this parking lot? I can't think of anything duller to do with it. Image shows a chunk of hard aged cheddar with a large section missing, covered in human bite marks
November 17, 2025 at 10:14 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Changing out the fake floral arrangement in this vase has become my favourite middle aged mom move. This was Halloween. I’m a lousy housekeeper but I make sure there are pretty things that make me smile in my messy cluttered house anyway.
The same view as in the previous post’s image, but this time with black roses, black feathers and fall leaves in the vase, a string of pumpkin lantern lights in place of the garland, and some spiderweb netting over the tops of the units’ doors.
November 11, 2025 at 11:47 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Seeing how much Christmas decorating I can do before my rigid autistic children start scolding me about it not being December yet
The tops of two shelving units in my living room, decorated with a plant, some framed photos, candles and Knick knacks that are there year round, but also a vase full of fake poinsettias, holly berries and evergreen sprigs, and a simple red berry garland stretching along the length of both shelves
November 11, 2025 at 11:44 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Really want this but my bf is celiac
Screenshot of an ad from Cider showing a light blue sweater with croissants on it
October 7, 2025 at 8:31 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Got this in a booster pack last night and it is simply the most Emily-coded MTG card in existence. I just keep gazing at it with adoration and delight.
Photo of the “City Pigeon” magic the gathering card, from the Spider-Man set. The artwork on the card shows a pigeon, wings spread, looming dramatically over a hot dog with mustard and sauerkraut. In the background, another pigeon is chillin with a glazed donut worn around his neck. Other pigeons are flying in the background. Text on the card reads “City Pigeon 1 white mana Creature - Bird Flying When this creature leaves the battlefield, create a Food token. Flavour text: "Aw, that was my lunch!" -Spider-Man, Peter Parker C 0004 SPM • EN A DAVID SZABO 1/1 © MARVEL ™ & © 2025 Wizards of the Coast”
October 2, 2025 at 3:57 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Another moment of horror for the lady who takes everything literally on first read (me)
Skincare ad with the headline “POV: you’re inside the lab where 10 years of crow’s feet vanish in 5 days.” Those poor crows 😢
August 21, 2025 at 6:21 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Had the most beautiful week with this guy I love so much. I don’t want this summer to end.
Myself and Devin, standing with our backs to the harbour in Vancouver, with several seaplanes behind us. He has his arms around me and a big goofy smile. I have a big smile too. The view from a balcony in Clearwater, BC, overlooking a lake and some heavily treed mountains on a drizzly, cloudy morning. On the balcony is a small table with a coffee and a bowl of cereal on it. Devin’s legs are visible as he’s sitting in a chair by the table, the rest of him out of frame. Selfie of me and Devin laughing with mountains in the background. Both of us are wearing sunglasses and I’m cuddled up against his side as he holds his arm out to take the picture.
August 16, 2025 at 2:48 AM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
We made it to the ocean and life is good
Selfie of me and my boyfriend with a sunset and ocean behind us
August 13, 2025 at 6:33 AM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Tough day for literally all of my MTG Arena standard decks 😅
Picture of my laptop screen showing all my MTG Arena standard decks with warnings on them do to cards that have rotated out and are no longer format legal
July 29, 2025 at 9:03 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Saw this nail art inspo pic on fb and it’s going to haunt my nightmares
Obviously AI-generated pic of a woman with a non-opposable thumb and otherwise anatomically chaotic hands showing very simple nail art that could have been done for real in less than ten minutes by a content creator who gave a shit
July 29, 2025 at 8:45 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Been in a creative funk lately, thought I’d try collage as a way to snap out of it and just make something already, ended up with absolute nonsense that I nevertheless kind of enjoy
Photo looking down at a cardboard box lid being used as a workspace on top of my bed. On it is a collage showing a window looking out onto an abstract beach with a pink sky and clouds. A fox is walking on the beach, entering on the left with another fox’s tail visible leaving the frame on the right. On the windowsill are some flowers, a seashell, an hourglass and a fat little rodent. Around the collage are several small scraps of paper from cutting out the different elements, a ruler and pencil, an x-acto knife, and a Glue Dots applicator.
July 26, 2025 at 6:12 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
“are we dating the same guy” groups are wild because women will be like “is this guy a catfish? seems to good to be true” and the photo looks like this
The monster from Slither, which I found described as a “pulsating mass of flesh, tentacles, and what looks like leftover spaghetti”
July 25, 2025 at 3:55 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
As you wish
Soaking wet golden retriever standing in a river
July 23, 2025 at 3:44 AM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
The fam is enjoying living closer to Hermitage Park (especially George)
My son and daughter wading in the river on a summer day. Our pet golden retriever, George, is swimming away from them. Selfie of myself wearing sunglasses and smiling with my 9yo son making a big goofy smile. The river can be seen in the background. A soaking wet golden retriever jumping out of the river to try and catch drops of water in his mouth. His ears are flying out to the sides and he has a goofy expression on his face. Soaking wet golden retriever (George) standing in the river, his tongue sticking out and a stick floating in front of him
July 10, 2025 at 7:09 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
My phone died and I missed a lot in the family gc, but this caught my eye as I skimmed past
Screenshot of a Facebook messenger group chat. My sister Amy asks “Meta AI who on this chat will die first” and the AI bot answers “That's a pretty heavy and random question! As a friendly conversationalist, l'm here to chat and help with any topics…” (remainder is cut off)
July 3, 2025 at 4:42 AM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
The candle making fb group I’m in is the most chaotic place on the internet and I will never leave
Screenshot from fb group of a bizarre “candle” that looks like two rough snowballs with a long thick wick sticking up between them, covered with what appears to be crumbled dried flower petals, sitting on a paper plate. Caption reads “I tried this candle..how is it...please suggest some advise if there is something to improve” Screenshot of a text post on Facebook that just reads “I found out why my candles would not stay lit. I was using crayons.” Photo captioned “Why does my soy wax do this? That is water underneath” accompanied by a photo of a glass vase with sand, seashells, and a fake plant full of water with a cloud of dark blue soy wax poured on top, doing exactly what you’d expect a bunch of wax poured into water to do. Screenshot of a video showing a blackened candle in a jar that has shattered, and a large plume of smoke coming off of it. The video was of a fireball instead the candle jar but this screenshot was taken after the person shooting the video got the fire put out. Caption reads “hi everyone, I have a problem with my…” (rest of caption is cut off)
June 24, 2025 at 6:45 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Been on marketplace a lot due to my impending move; here are some highlights
Custom Gas pipe coffee table $60 (Picture of a table top with FUCK YOU sloppily carved into it) Top was damaged by my lovely ex lol. Little bit of sanding and some new stain u got a nice table again. Good easy project for someone. Moving dont have time or room for it… (rest of description is cut off) Screenshot of text: Description KING Mattress (Basically brand new) Bought this mattress in a moment of weakness. I was vulnerable, tired, and desperate — the holy trinity of bad decision-making. Walked into some mattress "warehouse" that felt more like a front for a money-laundering operation and walked out with this king-sized regret. Slept on it once. ONE night. Felt like I was being body-slammed by a coil-wrapped demon. Woke up with a sore back, a broken spirit, and a need to reevaluate my entire life. Immediately replaced it the next morning with something that doesn't hate me. Details (if you dare): • KING size (the only royal thing about it) • 12" thick with 2" memory foam pretending to help • Brand freakin' new • No stains, no weird smells, just emotional damage It's perfect if you: • Hate yourself • Want guests to leave • Run an Airbnb in a questionable neighborhood • Need to feel something again Asking $200. Worth it for the story alone. Pickup only. Located in St. Albert
June 24, 2025 at 4:08 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
My sister made this cute photo backdrop for a graduation party and I have stolen it rather than let it languish in storage. One woman’s kitschy party decor is another’s permanent home installation 🤷‍♀️
A large wood lattice square covered in fake greenery with lots of pink and white fake flowers around the top and sides
June 23, 2025 at 8:42 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
You ever look down and just see a perfect photo staring you right in the face waiting for you to snap it
My sister’s fluffy white munchkin cat with striking blue eyes curled into a circle with her stubby little paws in the air on top of a blue and grey patterned rug
June 22, 2025 at 1:07 AM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Cropping my ex out of this photo from a convention so it’s just my family photo shoot with my husband Mads
A photo of myself, Mads Mikkelson, and my infant daughter wearing a strawberry costume. Mads is holding my baby.
June 13, 2025 at 4:46 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
Every now and then I scroll through Facebook and I never have any fucking idea what I’m going to see there
Screenshot of a post by crappy click bait site 22 Words that shows an image of a man and woman kissing and says “‘Hotwifing’ is the new bedroom trend everyone is talking about”
June 13, 2025 at 3:32 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
My (balding) boyfriend’s Instagram feed is lol busty women bouncing around and mine is all shit like this and I think that’s beautiful
Screenshot from Instagram of a woman (violetaurora) pointing at a photo of George Costanza saying “I’m ready for this hairstyle to come back”
June 11, 2025 at 10:15 PM
emilymackenz.bsky.social
I am so proud of this result tbh
لYour Result:”frasiers lesbian ex wife you are an icon, you are a legend, and you are the moment. Huge power, huge energy- but remember to think kindly of yourself…”
June 6, 2025 at 6:01 AM