Phil
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discochef.bsky.social
Phil
@discochef.bsky.social
Nothing bad can happen ❌️❌️
It can only good happen✨️✨️㊗️㊗️
@phil_system32 on the little xitler app (X)
Worker's rights are rights for everyone
Pinned
55 FRIES 55 SHAKES
You wanna know what I love? Contributing to the happiness of my friends. It's so easy to do and just impossible to regret
December 16, 2025 at 6:16 AM
The best thing in the world is giving someone a gift and watching them be happy about it. Joy is the ultimate combination of Happiness, Love, and Gratitude. Experiencing joy vicariously (but purely) through your friends is as close to being God as we get on this Shit Rock

Love hard, thank hard
December 16, 2025 at 6:14 AM
People who wince from getting a rocephin shot are genetically weak
December 15, 2025 at 8:37 PM
This is phantom of the panic at the disco of the opera
December 13, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Today is my birthday. It is also the birthday of Dr. Louks, excuse me while I fanboy
December 8, 2025 at 7:20 PM
my heart breaks for Tyler Seguin
December 3, 2025 at 6:31 PM
So, "what led to your drinking on a tuesday?" you might ask. Tyler Seguin's ACL
December 3, 2025 at 6:09 PM
My birthday is soon and It Happening™ (badly) would be just the best possible present
December 3, 2025 at 11:53 AM
I did some outstanding shopping yesterday. Before, I was just going to smell good. Now I am also going to Look Good
December 3, 2025 at 11:50 AM
I drank on an empty stomach last night and boy do I regret it
December 3, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I'm about to smell so good all the time and theres nothing any of yall can do about it
December 2, 2025 at 3:02 PM
I really replaced a whole gfci circuit, multiple light fixtures, and a shower faucet cartridge for an ex (post breakup!) because I am not a piece of shit. And *then* she tells me she's been seeing someone for a while after I finish it all
I regret nothing, and that was a bit of a gut punch
December 1, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I have a birthday in one week
Everything got measurably worse this year 🥳🥳
Can we just skip this month
December 1, 2025 at 1:36 PM
I lost 5lbs over thanksgiving
December 1, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Something delicious: drink an espresso, then fill the empty espresso cup with vanilla coke
November 30, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Reposted by Phil
in the emergency room for a snake bite and they rush in a camel to watch The Notebook
November 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
So hear me out. I don't care that it took a couple years to finish stranger things. Do we call it fan abuse when a musician takes three years to make 40 minute albums? Come on now
November 28, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Reading threads of stories about boyfriends who wont even get up to look at a problem with their Gf's car. And remembering the time I dropped $1300 on a gf's car so she could safely start her new job and then she dumped me the night before my birthday. The Threads ladies and I deserved better
November 28, 2025 at 3:15 PM
I ate a huge slice of turkey and passed out for four hours, had a wonderful hyper realistic dream. It was nice.
November 28, 2025 at 2:21 AM
My ex texted me to tell me about the two guys she's trying to choose between.

I'm out here swiping every day and it's crickets. I didn't change much about my previously very successful profile, maybe it's just the time of year idk. I dont understand anything.
November 28, 2025 at 2:13 AM
They don't talk about the part of breakups where you go cold-turkey on human contact against your will
Brain wants oxytocin but I have no way to make it, disregulation
November 25, 2025 at 8:19 AM
Had a rough day mentally. I am lovable. I just happen to only attract people who treat me like shit
November 25, 2025 at 8:15 AM
Name a more iconic duo than me and biting the absolute shit out of my tongue as I sleep
November 20, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Reposted by Phil
Fast food workers who throw in vastly more sauce packets than the meal could conceivably call for—I appreciate you.
November 20, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Ya know I talk a lot of shit about my body, but it does have this one neat trick where I can eat 2000 calories per day, exercise a bit, take my meds regularly. And I can lose five pounds in less than five days
November 19, 2025 at 1:39 PM