God
deschain82.bsky.social
God
@deschain82.bsky.social
Author, poet, self described daggy dad, Lord of all Creation and Warhammer enthusiast.

Bible 3: Rise of Gavin is out June 2026 at all earthly bookstores.
Roses are red
Violets are silent
The state of the planet
Makes me want to get violent
February 14, 2025 at 2:42 AM
By promoting exercise and fresh fruit and vegetables, RFK Jr will unwittingly create a generation of incredibly yoked revolutionaries.
February 14, 2025 at 1:55 AM
“Tonight and every night we feature Roseanne Barr mud wrestling a crocodile.” - The Kennedy Centre 2026
February 13, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Take solace in knowing that you will not die from bird flu contaminated eggs because 1. All the chickens will be dead and 2. You cannot afford eggs.
February 13, 2025 at 10:37 PM
“I loved that body. Flabby, pasty skin. RIDDLED with phlebitis. A good Republican body!”
February 13, 2025 at 12:05 AM
*hears a bustle in my hedgerow*

Get out of there Steve. That’s the fifth bustle you’ve done today.
February 12, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Day 93

We sat down at the fire to share what company we had. Our bellies rumbled. No one questioned why Dave kept sprinkling us with cracked pepper and sea salt. In hindsight, that was a real red flag.

- The diaries of the Donner Party.
February 11, 2025 at 3:57 AM
I’ve got angst in my pants.
February 8, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Nina cried power
And I could cry power
Power has been cried by those stronger than me
Straight into the face that tells you to grab on your chains
If you love being free
February 6, 2025 at 11:31 PM
“We like the idea of a President who would willingly displace 2.1 million people from their homes just to build golf courses and hotels.” said no one ever.

And yet here he sits.
February 6, 2025 at 7:51 AM
When the world is run by Burkes, be a Ripley.

Don’t be another Burke.
February 6, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Here’s your daily reminder to post unflattering photos of Felon Husk at every opportunity.
February 5, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Simply Red, standing by.
February 5, 2025 at 6:03 AM
2025 has a real vibe of the story of the scorpion and the frog to it.

You knew he was poison, but you did it anyway.
February 5, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Forget the horse in the hospital. Focus on the ketamine powered moose that is now stomping his hooves in the ICU.
February 4, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Drug addled homeless man attends 2025 Grammys. Nude wife not pictured.
February 3, 2025 at 6:43 AM
Mood.
February 3, 2025 at 12:45 AM
“Today, I’m signing an executive order so that me and my friends can eat the poor ( and the Dems! who are so corrupt ). THE RESULTS WILL BE SPECTACULAR.” - Trump tweet about ten minutes from now.
February 2, 2025 at 10:21 PM
“Hippity hoppity, clippity cloppity,” said the horse.

“Now that I’m back in the hospital, I’m going to stomp the maternity ward to bits with my hooves. Also, I’ve hired a rhino to come and work here, so go fuck yourself.”
February 1, 2025 at 10:48 AM
How much of your life is spent on a) putting questionable things in your mouth versus b) dealing with the immediate regret of putting a questionable thing in your mouth?
February 1, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Reposted by God
Spydere man Spydere Man
Doth al things a spydere kan
Sondrye webbes he kan weaven
Thieves lyke flyes he kan cacchen
Lo, anon cometh Spydere Man
January 31, 2025 at 6:45 PM
To the US Democratic Party.

Are your shoulders sore from all the shrugging yet?
February 1, 2025 at 8:26 AM
“Fuck y’all.”
February 1, 2025 at 8:17 AM
None of you will ever know how hard it is to get primordial ooze out of a Berber rug.
January 31, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I’m reminded that every day under a Trump regime, we get introduced to another bug eyed sack of blood and organs that in any sane world would be rattling a cup on a street corner.

Please step forward Kash Patel.
January 30, 2025 at 10:20 PM