Derp Hapley
derphapley.bsky.social
Derp Hapley
@derphapley.bsky.social
Reposted by Derp Hapley
“Fascism” isn’t a slur for politics we don’t like. It’s a precise word with precise meaning. And in the face of what’s happening right now in America, it’s the most honest one we have.

I’ll lay it out as plainly as I can. 🧵
September 20, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Since that awkward post-SNF exchange...

CALEB WILLIAMS:
🟧 63.3 completion pct.
🟦 3,989 pass yards
🟧 27 TD
🟦 5 INT
🟧 94.8 rating

CJ STROUD:
🟥 62.6 completion pct.
◻️ 3,832 pass yards
🟥 19 TD
◻️ 15 INT
🟥 83.2 rating
September 22, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Reposted by Derp Hapley
Since that awkward post-SNF exchange...

CALEB WILLIAMS:
🟧 63.3 completion pct.
🟦 3,989 pass yards
🟧 27 TD
🟦 5 INT
🟧 94.8 rating

CJ STROUD:
🟥 62.6 completion pct.
◻️ 3,832 pass yards
🟥 19 TD
◻️ 15 INT
🟥 83.2 rating
September 22, 2025 at 1:13 PM
These guys are the biggest pussies I’ve ever seen
Musk: I mean, have you Tim Walz, who is a huge jerk, running on stage with the Tesla stock price.. What an evil thing to do. What a creep, what a jerk. Like who derives joy from that?
March 28, 2025 at 11:31 PM
First Amendment, fuckers
a man says just cause you don t like
Alt: Tim Robinson says “You can’t change the rules just cause you don’t like how I’m doing it”
media.tenor.com
March 27, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by Derp Hapley
I’m interested in talking to anyone who may have been at Elon Musk’s birthday party in June 2017. Hit me up on Signal at davetroy.69. Thanks.
March 12, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Two-run Stone Lawless double gives Tennessee a 12-9 lead over Radford, Bottom6

Radford challenging the call of safe on the second runner there. It was close.
March 5, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Big Thief’s “Masterpiece” is the greatest love song ever
March 2, 2025 at 5:29 AM
It’s going to rapidly get to a point where bumper stickers and/or signs won’t save your Tesla from vandalism. Unless you support what Musk is doing (in which case, fuck off), sell your Tesla now. You want no part of where this shit is heading.

#TeslaTakedown
March 1, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Trump take egg
My grocery store sells through their egg allotment by 10 am every day and the cost of a dozen white large eggs has risen from $3.49 to $4.99.

Where are all the people who said they voted for Trump over egg prices (not facism) and all the journalists who wrote those stories with a straight face?
February 21, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Reposted by Derp Hapley
SIMPLY HAVING A
December 14, 2024 at 1:23 PM
lifehack (professional and personal):

don't be a big stupid asshole
December 9, 2024 at 10:07 PM
Weird headline or weirdest headline?
December 6, 2024 at 12:31 AM
Reposted by Derp Hapley
1st down at the Bengals' 29. Jim Harbaugh could have knelt/QB sneaked to settle for a FG.

Nope. He ran the ball. Dobbins didn't fumble. He scored a 29-yard TD.

Oh, and Harbaugh called timeout before the Bengals' Hail Mary too.
November 18, 2024 at 5:12 AM
Fire Eberflus. He’s a loser who finds ways to lose. Gotta go.
Since 1940, the Bears are now 101-24-2 when they have 0 turnovers on offense and create a takeaway on defense, per Stathead.

3 of those losses have come in the last 3 weeks.

Bears head coach records in those games:
Eberflus 6-4
Nagy 8-0
Fox 6-4
Trestman 6-1
Lovie 16-3
November 18, 2024 at 12:34 AM
@kfishbain.bsky.social has any team ever lost on both a Hail Mary and a blocked FG at the gun in the same season before these Bears?
November 17, 2024 at 9:25 PM
Gen X out here pulling the exact same ladder-pulling bullshit we accused boomers of 8 years ago. Fucking embarrassing.
November 6, 2024 at 10:11 PM
Reposted by Derp Hapley
An absolute all-timer. 😭
November 3, 2024 at 3:29 PM
Reposted by Derp Hapley
November 3, 2024 at 3:32 PM
When Trump/Musk/etc. bray about voter fraud and stealing the election with no evidence to back it up, remember that they are telling on themselves, revealing what they are willing to do.

"It is not hard to identify a thief: It is the one who believes that everybody steals." - Kevin Kelley
October 31, 2024 at 2:21 PM
These Tom Brady commercials suck
October 30, 2024 at 3:31 AM