Someday I hope to be the kind of person who’s important enough that I apparently have to have conversations over speakerphone in an airport bathroom
October 18, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Someday I hope to be the kind of person who’s important enough that I apparently have to have conversations over speakerphone in an airport bathroom
Thoughts and prayers*
*I’m an atheist, so I don’t believe in prayer, and my thought is “good riddance”
*I’m an atheist, so I don’t believe in prayer, and my thought is “good riddance”
September 10, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Thoughts and prayers*
*I’m an atheist, so I don’t believe in prayer, and my thought is “good riddance”
*I’m an atheist, so I don’t believe in prayer, and my thought is “good riddance”
What’s your guess as to how many male Republican members of Congress have ever had consensual sex? I’d say ~12%, but I’m kind of a Pollyanna
September 6, 2025 at 3:05 PM
What’s your guess as to how many male Republican members of Congress have ever had consensual sex? I’d say ~12%, but I’m kind of a Pollyanna
It’s really sweet the way the Persian place includes utensils with my takeout order, as if we don’t all know I’m going to tear into that falafel wrap with my bare hands like a rabid goddamn weasel.
August 21, 2025 at 1:20 AM
It’s really sweet the way the Persian place includes utensils with my takeout order, as if we don’t all know I’m going to tear into that falafel wrap with my bare hands like a rabid goddamn weasel.
If you’re ever attacked by rats, you should say “oh, rats!” in a Charlie Brown voice, because that would be pretty funny.
August 13, 2025 at 1:27 AM
If you’re ever attacked by rats, you should say “oh, rats!” in a Charlie Brown voice, because that would be pretty funny.
I just realized that Carmy’s relationship with his mother on The Bear pretty closely mirrors my own relationship with my mother, and I’m…not entirely sure how to feel about that, honestly
July 25, 2025 at 2:28 AM
I just realized that Carmy’s relationship with his mother on The Bear pretty closely mirrors my own relationship with my mother, and I’m…not entirely sure how to feel about that, honestly
A thing I’ve discovered that I kinda like about myself is that I’m a really good plant dad
July 9, 2025 at 1:26 AM
A thing I’ve discovered that I kinda like about myself is that I’m a really good plant dad
Reposted by Eddie Dean
“The bot created by racists on the racist platform did a racism” like yeah? That’s what it’s for
July 8, 2025 at 11:29 PM
“The bot created by racists on the racist platform did a racism” like yeah? That’s what it’s for
Sometimes self care means getting a giant iced matcha latte and watching K-pop videos. Today is one of those times.
July 6, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Sometimes self care means getting a giant iced matcha latte and watching K-pop videos. Today is one of those times.
I was lucky enough to be at the Beyoncé show in Houston Saturday night. I’d say roughly 65,000 folx were there, most of whom were people of color and/or queer. It truly felt like a gathering of family, and it gave me great hope. The agents of hate will not win, because we won’t let them.
July 1, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I was lucky enough to be at the Beyoncé show in Houston Saturday night. I’d say roughly 65,000 folx were there, most of whom were people of color and/or queer. It truly felt like a gathering of family, and it gave me great hope. The agents of hate will not win, because we won’t let them.
Reposted by Eddie Dean
Okay fine 2025 isn’t completely terrible.
We've been receiving a lot of requests for us to answer this crucial question, and we are delighted to attempt to provide you with the information you need as to whether you can read braille with your clit.
March 7, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Okay fine 2025 isn’t completely terrible.
Reposted by Eddie Dean
@sesameworkshop.bsky.social has not responded to our request for voluntary recognition by our proposed deadline. There is still time for leadership to do the right thing! Sign the petition here to urge them to listen to their workers: actionnetwork.org/letters/soli...
March 7, 2025 at 2:46 PM
@sesameworkshop.bsky.social has not responded to our request for voluntary recognition by our proposed deadline. There is still time for leadership to do the right thing! Sign the petition here to urge them to listen to their workers: actionnetwork.org/letters/soli...
Reposted by Eddie Dean
Think we’ve forgotten about the time that Elon was booed so badly by fans of Dave Chapelle (of all people) that he locked himself in his office and Twitter employees considered calling the cops to do a wellness check.
What I’m saying is we can go harder.
What I’m saying is we can go harder.
March 5, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Think we’ve forgotten about the time that Elon was booed so badly by fans of Dave Chapelle (of all people) that he locked himself in his office and Twitter employees considered calling the cops to do a wellness check.
What I’m saying is we can go harder.
What I’m saying is we can go harder.
If you’re a connoisseur of fresh new hells, this is truly a golden age.
March 5, 2025 at 9:46 PM
If you’re a connoisseur of fresh new hells, this is truly a golden age.
Reposted by Eddie Dean
giving up spell check for Lunt
March 5, 2025 at 6:41 PM
giving up spell check for Lunt
Reposted by Eddie Dean
pagliacci: but doctor... i AM pagliacci
doctor: then shut the fuck up
doctor: then shut the fuck up
March 4, 2025 at 7:36 PM
pagliacci: but doctor... i AM pagliacci
doctor: then shut the fuck up
doctor: then shut the fuck up
Reposted by Eddie Dean
This morning at Dept of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) HQ in DC as mandatory return to office began, this video played on loop for ~5 mins on screens throughout the building, per agency source.
Building staff couldn’t figure out how to turn it off so sent people to every floor to unplug TVs.
Building staff couldn’t figure out how to turn it off so sent people to every floor to unplug TVs.
February 24, 2025 at 2:51 PM
This morning at Dept of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) HQ in DC as mandatory return to office began, this video played on loop for ~5 mins on screens throughout the building, per agency source.
Building staff couldn’t figure out how to turn it off so sent people to every floor to unplug TVs.
Building staff couldn’t figure out how to turn it off so sent people to every floor to unplug TVs.
THE ABYSS: Hey man, you’ve been gazing into me for a while now, maybe take a break and go do something else for a bit?
February 23, 2025 at 2:03 AM
THE ABYSS: Hey man, you’ve been gazing into me for a while now, maybe take a break and go do something else for a bit?
Me, passing someone on the street at 3:30 p.m. (with a jaunty wave): Good morning!
February 20, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Me, passing someone on the street at 3:30 p.m. (with a jaunty wave): Good morning!
Reposted by Eddie Dean
Everybody thinks it’s gonna be later, and it’s gonna be somebody else. But it’s not. It’s now, and it’s you.
February 3, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Everybody thinks it’s gonna be later, and it’s gonna be somebody else. But it’s not. It’s now, and it’s you.
The salon where I get my nails done always has the Food Network playing. So now my nails look great but also I’m hungry.
February 2, 2025 at 10:09 PM
The salon where I get my nails done always has the Food Network playing. So now my nails look great but also I’m hungry.
Happy Parable of the Sower day, everybody! I’m going to celebrate by huddling in the corner, maybe some weeping if I get the chance.
February 1, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Happy Parable of the Sower day, everybody! I’m going to celebrate by huddling in the corner, maybe some weeping if I get the chance.
I just realized why Musk and Trump get along so well: they’re both terrified of stairs.
January 27, 2025 at 12:23 AM
I just realized why Musk and Trump get along so well: they’re both terrified of stairs.
Watching opening night of Unrivaled. I support the Lunar Owls because duh, they’re the goddamn Lunar Owls.
January 18, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Watching opening night of Unrivaled. I support the Lunar Owls because duh, they’re the goddamn Lunar Owls.