People call me mean and honestly? They are correct

Bold of you to think that putting two little candy bars in one package and labeling it ‘sharing size’ is going to result in anything other than me eating two little candy bars.

Movie dialogue pitch:

Police Deputy: Sir, we checked the vehicle thoroughly and could not find any evidence of any kind of a bomb.

Police Chief: The truck was manufactured by Tesla. The vehicle IS a bomb.

Go out there and be somebody’s five golden rings in a series of illegally trafficked and increasingly unhinged bird gifts today

When I had hoped to live in interesting times this is not what the fuck I meant.

already hearing commercials playing that damn song about how ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year’ listen fucko it literally isn’t

Oh, you "heard" there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord? Cite your sources, bro. This is how misinformation spreads

Hi