Look, when you’re constantly that intoxicated, you spend a lot of time confirming the stability of the firmament underfoot

6 hours of work (pickup all the crap/vac/mop/polish) for a possible 15 minutes of clean floors before they’re smeared with 14 legs worth of muddy smears. But it _was_ clean, I swear

If there was ever a family that needed to be gifted a bidet…

Especially the “Papa” who is very vocal about how he needs a _lot_ of toilet paper because his shits are so messy

You know what's an actual physical barrier in an urban environment? All the cars permanently parked on the pavements making it impossible to walk on them.

When my (ex) wife’s woo-woo friends were so very excited to tell me about this “amazing book i would love” (Sapiens) “because you’re a historian” because “it explains _everything_” and I suddenly had to say “I think my mom’s calling and it’s time for me to go home”

I think there’s a “paleo-punk” movement, but it felt (to me, a bullshit artist on the internet) as if the genre shifts to something that fundamentally sounds different than before. I also feel like other genres incorporate the punk fundament so everything gets quite messy

I think that there’s a maturation (in musicianship) that happens around 85-88 that changes that earliest “punk” sound more concerned with mood and lyrics than musicality, into something more “melodic (?)”

I think it’s after the release of candy apple gray (1986-ish). I feel like there’s an expanded sense of “musicality(?)” in the genre, both in the remaining “old guard” groups and the kids coming up (or at least the bands that are getting record deals) compared to that first generation of bands.

She is like a CIA black site for metaphors

And we’ve been not looking down for so long We’ve built an entire civilization off the edge of the cliff at this point. The fall is going to murder us, but luckily we’re then going to be buried under miles of rubble.

Rifer should know he can never escape the gravity well of SMIP

Backs and knees are the absolute stupidest. Bipedalism was a mistake

The board and execs are still the GOP appointees from Bush and Trump I. As long as they’re still in charge, they’re going to be admin shills