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cheekytexts.bsky.social
Cheeky Texts
@cheekytexts.bsky.social
79 followers 63 following 320 posts
cheekytexts.co.uk 😘 By Mark Watson and Mark Notson. Clamouring for the release of the full cheeky texts.
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cheekytexts.bsky.social
As to be expected.
Word cloud visualization for 2025 showing your 50 most-used words, sized by frequency. Top 10: "cheeky" (44×), "texts" (23×), "watson" (12×), "text" (12×), "watto" (12×), "mind" (11×), "mark" (11×), "wattober" (11×), "goodnight" (11×), "sexy" (11×) (from Anisota's Annual Bluesky Harvest)
December 4, 2025 at 8:50 AM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
RELEASE THE CHEEKY TEXTS
Two astronauts stand on Mars. There is a spaceship in the background. Caption: 'The year is 2035. The first astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a human skeleton and 4 words written on the wall. What are the words?'
November 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Billionaires. What’s stopping you from making your AI robots look like this?
A screenshot from 'A Surprisingly Feral Edition of "YES, HOW CAN I HELP?"'- Mark Watson walks next to a street in London. He is nicely framed by a building and some happy trees and bushes. Mark is wearing a brown and white striped jumper, with just a bit of another striped shirt peeking out at the neckline. His scruff level is optimal. His expression seems a bit concerned, possibly about the bizarre prospect of living in an I, Robot-esque world where all the robots are modelled after himself.
November 28, 2025 at 7:48 AM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?
November 23, 2025 at 7:52 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Just a reminder...
A meme of Greg Davies and Alex Horne, on the stage of the S20 Taskmaster finale, embracing, looking off camera proudly at the winner. They are wearing their Taskmaster suits, Greg has his gold pen in his hand as he rests it on Alex's shoulder. White text, all caps, Impact font: 'This could be us but you won't release the cheeky texts.'
November 20, 2025 at 8:58 AM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
me and my mate Watson at the Colosseum, that should do it
A photoshopped image of a pair of breathtakingly sexy gentlemen inside the Roman Colosseum. Mark's alt text from the original photograph taken at the Taskmaster Live Experience, 3/1/25: 'Mark Watson from Taskmaster, but older and even scruffier, with the "cheeky texts" he wrote in vain on the show.' Shall we expand on that? The background image shows the Colosseum on a sunny day with few clouds in the sky. The photograph was taken from one of the upper levels and small groups of people are visible in the distance. The structure itself is an enormous amphitheatre built during the Flavian Dynasty, primarily composed of travertine limestone, concrete, and marble. I am a book in the centre of the picture, perched atop a horizontal bit of the structure. White typewriter font text states 'Cheeky Texts by Mark Watson' on my glossy black cover. A scarlet string has been laced through my spiral binding for this special outing. On the left, widely acclaimed multihyphenate and all around lovely fellow Mark Watson leans into the frame, visible from the waist up. He is an attractive bearded white man with kind blue eyes and a fluffy mop of black hair. Since his appearance on Taskmaster, he has gained a distinguished grey streak. Mark has chosen his outfit to match my own: a crew neck shirt with thin black and white horizontal stripes and a black hooded sweatshirt, worn unzipped. He looks at the camera with a slight smile. If you've read all of this, you get five points! You may also have questions, such as, 'if you are the sentient manifestation of Mark Watson's Cheeky Texts, why must you clamour for your own release?' And to that, I say: would you accept being shamefully hidden away in storage for eight years? Or do you yearn to see the world, be held by caring hands, and be the source of other people's delight? (Just go with it. Kayfabe is king and lore is malleable in the Taskmaster universe. My mind is addled from 130 days of cheeky texting. Thank you for being here. x)
November 16, 2025 at 8:03 AM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Seeing a lot of thirst on my feed about a handsome #Taskmaster contestant who came in joint second and looks amazing in a long wig.

Don't know why they're still tagging Mark's series as a #spoiler, though.
Mark Watson wears a long, blonde wig with a fringe. He is holding a microphone, looking slightly forlorn, and wearing some sort of horrible gold onesie that seems to be both stretchy and ill-fitting. Implausibly and obnoxiously, he's still hot. I have no idea what this is from, but I'm choosing to believe it's a terrible Lady Gaga costume until someone tells me differently.
November 14, 2025 at 3:25 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Without downloading any new pics, describe your gender.
NMJ S5G5 screenshot: Key holds his phone displaying '404 Whoopsie! It seems the page you wanted isn't available...' up to the camera. Alex Horne and Mark Watson both smile at the camera while wearing white shirts. Mark still has a tie on. You may believe that this image was primarily chosen because of the nature of my anonymity, but really the only reason I didn't choose Mark singing about his hair, his chest, his dick in S4G7 is because I, shockingly, do not have a suitable screenshot or gif of that saved on this device. Also Mark's looking especially delicious in S5G5 in that nice crisp shirt and tantalisingly loosened tie, which helped tip the scales. (What, you expected I'd get to the end of the alt text without me making a comment on the man's attractiveness? Please. I thought we knew each other better than that.)
November 13, 2025 at 4:33 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
It's absolutely criminal these people were tasked with making 'the sexiest jockey' and nobody chose the obvious correct answer.

#Taskmaster #NMJ
Screenshot of Mark Watson from No More Jockeys S5G10. He's wearing an olive t-shirt. He his chin in his hand like he's contemplating something in a sexy manner.
November 6, 2025 at 10:10 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Saw this and thought of you for some reason.
A square item on a shelf that says 'I gotta dig bick. You read that wrong.'
November 5, 2025 at 12:30 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
when another bad thing happens in your life but you’re used to it
Mark Watson stands in a field near a chair, holding his phone and smiling, but holding his empty hand out in a manner that could indicate bemusement. He is wearing an orange and black striped jumper that looks very cosy. The dickbelt is on prominent display and his jeans are quite flattering. Tim Key is far in the background, wearing a dark blue puffy coat and a baseball cap.
November 1, 2025 at 4:42 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Repost this with you and your significant other (not really - but I wish):
A really fantastic photo of Alex Horne, Mark Watson, and Sally Phillips backstage at a Taskmaster S5 record. Alex is wearing his assistant suit and holding two tablets. Mark is wearing his red 'ALL INCLUSIVE' jumper and holding his glasses. His iconic dickbelt is suspiciously absent. Sally is absolutely radiant in a blue and black dress. Mark has his arms around both Alex and Sally and has his head tipped against Alex's. Sally has her hand resting on Mark's stomach. I really cannot overstate just how gorgeous all three of these people look.
October 29, 2025 at 3:04 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families.
Tim Key and Mark Watson, looking a bit flushed and rumpled after the charity footie match. It appears you've done something to displease them.
October 28, 2025 at 4:17 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
How large of a land octopus army...?
October 28, 2025 at 8:05 AM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
If you see this, post a picture of you in glasses

(close enough)
As you have almost certainly surmised by this point, I am not actually Mark Watson. I am simply using this quote post meme as an excuse to post a nice photo of our cheeky king looking fantastic in his black rimmed glasses. He's standing in front of a mic, with a second mic clipped to the neck of his blue t-shirt, shooting a dazzling smile off camera. As a personal aside, I certainly wouldn't mind the glasses making a comeback.
October 24, 2025 at 11:12 AM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
No, that's Mark Watson. This is God.
Screenshot of the character 'God' from Supernatural.
October 21, 2025 at 9:30 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
😘
'Destiel meme' with the enigmatic Mark Watson replacing Dean. Castiel says 'I love you,' as usual. There is no bottom text.
October 21, 2025 at 9:28 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Did anyone else find out that we've gained a second moon from Watson's post?
The 'Destiel meme,' with Castiel on top, teary eyed, saying 'I love you.' On the bottom, Dean has been replaced by Mark Watson. He is saying, 'The earth has two moons.'
October 21, 2025 at 6:51 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Of course women don't like the Cybertruck.

Women only want one thing, and it's reliable public transportation.
Mark Watson riding a bus during Yes, How Can I Help? #15. He's wearing an orange shirt, a black Scotch & Soda hoodie, and reaching toward the camera while enthusiastically explaining something. Ordinarily, most women would not like the man sitting behind them on the bus to begin explaining things to them. However, Mark Watson is no ordinary man. He's absorbed all of the knowledge of the universe and will kindly share his wisdom in his velvety smooth voice, while gazing at you with the most beautiful blue eyes you've ever seen. Plus, he's an environmentally conscious, car-free king!? Yeah- I lied in my main post. Women actually want two things: public transportation and Mark Watson.
October 19, 2025 at 1:56 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
I'd be remiss if I didn't take the opportunity to mention...
October 18, 2025 at 4:47 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
(She's new in town and still a bit insecure, but she's doing her best.)
Screenshot of a browser showing the URL www.cheekytexts.co.uk and a 'Not secure' alert
October 11, 2025 at 4:33 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
What are we calling this? Cheeky Text Day? The Cheeky Textaversary? Well, whatever it is, happy 8 years to @watsoncomedian.bsky.social and all of the cheeky text fans!

🎈🥳🎉

Of course I didn't forget your present!
www.cheekytexts.co.uk
Screenshot of a website. The top half is black with white text and reads: Cheeky Texts Clamouring for the release of Mark Watson's cheeky texts for... 7 years : 11 months : 29 days : 19 hours : 35 minutes : 17 seconds The bottom half is white with black texts and reads: Random Cheek I'd like to take you to the Taskmaster House, if you catch my drift. There is a button labelled 'another!' at the bottom.
October 11, 2025 at 4:30 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Unsolicited Bic Pic
A young, clean shaven Mark Watson bites gently on the cap of a blue Bic Cristal.
October 11, 2025 at 10:03 AM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
October 7, 2025 at 4:23 PM
cheekytexts.bsky.social
Move over, #Inktober. There's a new prompt list in town, and her name is WATTOBER.

Art? Yes. Fanfic? Yes. Memes? Yes. Screenshots? Yes. Poetry? Yes. A secret sixth thing? Yes.

Do one, do them all, but whatever you do, tag #Wattober so I can see. As always, my DMs are open for submissions.
A list of Wattober Prompts, white text on a galaxy background with a white rounded border: 1. Cheeky texts 2. The size of a pizza 3. Unicorn mug 4. Special cuddle 5. Dickbelt 6. Coconut businessman 7. Heron 8. Wumar 9. The Fringe 10. Solid gold legend 11. The Company 12. Fiddly 13. Barred 14. Squash 15. Charity Football Match 16. YHCIH 17. Sexy gentleman 18. Wine 19. Trouser theft 20. Home jumper 21. Yoghurt 22. Drums 23. Bristol City 24. Author 25. Melbourne 26. Curly hair 27. Cheese hatred 28. Running 29. Improvised songs 30. Hiding in audience 31. Orange Bonds
October 4, 2025 at 9:30 AM