Pinned
Calm As A Toe
@calmasatoe.bsky.social
· Jun 30
Lots of people jumping on this TikTok to say it’s not actually Portnoy. Maybe it is, maybe not.
But what’s important here is that everyone seeing this dearly hopes it is Dave Portnoy.
But what’s important here is that everyone seeing this dearly hopes it is Dave Portnoy.
I have an alt account exclusively for #sobriety and #addiction content. If that interests you, check out @mod-leper.bsky.social
open.substack.com/pub/themodle...
open.substack.com/pub/themodle...
Pitfalls and Pratfalls and All That
October 31.
open.substack.com
November 13, 2025 at 11:32 PM
I have an alt account exclusively for #sobriety and #addiction content. If that interests you, check out @mod-leper.bsky.social
open.substack.com/pub/themodle...
open.substack.com/pub/themodle...
Reposted by Calm As A Toe
jeffrey epstein calling trump "functionally illiterate" is so fucking funny in the context of all those emails where he types like he eats paint chips for breakfast
November 13, 2025 at 6:04 AM
jeffrey epstein calling trump "functionally illiterate" is so fucking funny in the context of all those emails where he types like he eats paint chips for breakfast
Reposted by Calm As A Toe
Repost with an iconic fictional band
November 12, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Repost with an iconic fictional band
Let's check in on the Democrat party after last night's vote.
November 10, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Let's check in on the Democrat party after last night's vote.
Reposted by Calm As A Toe
New post up on substack! Read if your sports team won today. Or if they lost!
open.substack.com/pub/patrickm...
open.substack.com/pub/patrickm...
Sunday Evening Post - Be Super!
November 2.
open.substack.com
November 3, 2025 at 3:22 AM
New post up on substack! Read if your sports team won today. Or if they lost!
open.substack.com/pub/patrickm...
open.substack.com/pub/patrickm...
I wonder if the guy from the UK who enjoys referring to Americans as “thick yank cunts” is going to be mad that I blocked him.
October 25, 2025 at 9:21 PM
I wonder if the guy from the UK who enjoys referring to Americans as “thick yank cunts” is going to be mad that I blocked him.
I deleted a reply because for a moment I thought that if Trump caught wind of what I wrote, a band of thugs would show up at my door and disappear me.
What a crazy thing to think, right?
…right?
What a crazy thing to think, right?
…right?
October 17, 2025 at 7:08 AM
I deleted a reply because for a moment I thought that if Trump caught wind of what I wrote, a band of thugs would show up at my door and disappear me.
What a crazy thing to think, right?
…right?
What a crazy thing to think, right?
…right?
Insomnia thoughts:
It’s so hard to argue with #MAGA supporters because first you have to explain to them everything that Trump is doing and why it is bad.
It’s so hard to argue with #MAGA supporters because first you have to explain to them everything that Trump is doing and why it is bad.
October 1, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Insomnia thoughts:
It’s so hard to argue with #MAGA supporters because first you have to explain to them everything that Trump is doing and why it is bad.
It’s so hard to argue with #MAGA supporters because first you have to explain to them everything that Trump is doing and why it is bad.
After watching bits and pieces of games all day on the fake Red Zone channel, I have concluded that the #Eagles are probably better than any other team in the #NFL. I’m sure they’re good for a couple flukey losses still, but I expect them to win just about all of their games this year.
September 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Today had so many Trump bangers I nearly forgot this one.
September 24, 2025 at 6:48 AM
Today had so many Trump bangers I nearly forgot this one.
I did a quick google just now.
September 23, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I did a quick google just now.
Young Fathers - Rice (Live) for Amnesty International UK
YouTube video by YOUNG FATHERS
youtu.be
September 20, 2025 at 9:37 PM
All this talk about Kirk and Kimmel and freedom of speech and governmental overreach and everything else really got me thinking…
Maybe they should just release the Epstein files.
Maybe they should just release the Epstein files.
a man in a suit and tie is saying that would be cool .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is saying that would be cool .
media.tenor.com
September 19, 2025 at 8:41 PM
All this talk about Kirk and Kimmel and freedom of speech and governmental overreach and everything else really got me thinking…
Maybe they should just release the Epstein files.
Maybe they should just release the Epstein files.
Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert should start a podcast. They can add new pod members each time the next person gets cancelled. Soon, all late night tv programming will be erased from existence and they’ll have a whole pod gang.
Except Fallon. That smarmy puppy man can be left out of it.
Except Fallon. That smarmy puppy man can be left out of it.
September 17, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert should start a podcast. They can add new pod members each time the next person gets cancelled. Soon, all late night tv programming will be erased from existence and they’ll have a whole pod gang.
Except Fallon. That smarmy puppy man can be left out of it.
Except Fallon. That smarmy puppy man can be left out of it.
Share favorite covers…
youtu.be/UDAfGnbnlRw?...
youtu.be/UDAfGnbnlRw?...
September 15, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Share favorite covers…
youtu.be/UDAfGnbnlRw?...
youtu.be/UDAfGnbnlRw?...
Just how poorly FBI and LE interpreted clues in this case. Their experts puzzled over the cryptic meanings behind “Ciao Bella” and up right down down down when they could have just asked a YA gamer kid.
September 12, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Just how poorly FBI and LE interpreted clues in this case. Their experts puzzled over the cryptic meanings behind “Ciao Bella” and up right down down down when they could have just asked a YA gamer kid.
The guy who prematurely shouts the penalty call at the television before the ref announces it is the same guy who watches a Mahomes scramble and points out to everyone in the room that “This guy can run!” #nfl
September 6, 2025 at 2:12 AM
The guy who prematurely shouts the penalty call at the television before the ref announces it is the same guy who watches a Mahomes scramble and points out to everyone in the room that “This guy can run!” #nfl
Pretty sure Kay Adams could fit inside Cam Newton’s hat.
a building with the number 8601 on the side
ALT: a building with the number 8601 on the side
media.tenor.com
September 5, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Pretty sure Kay Adams could fit inside Cam Newton’s hat.
I don’t think the #Eagles could have possibly gotten off to a worse start.
I guess the on the plus side, things can only get better?
I guess the on the plus side, things can only get better?
a south park character says uhuh yeah in front of a sign that says south park
Alt: a south park character says uhuh yeah in front of a sign that says south park
media.tenor.com
September 5, 2025 at 12:34 AM
I don’t think the #Eagles could have possibly gotten off to a worse start.
I guess the on the plus side, things can only get better?
I guess the on the plus side, things can only get better?
I’m getting fired up for some #Eagles action tonight.
a man in a tie is sitting in a kitchen with his hands in the air and says i 'm so excited
Alt: a man in a tie is sitting in a kitchen with his hands in the air and says i 'm so excited
media.tenor.com
September 4, 2025 at 11:23 PM
I’m getting fired up for some #Eagles action tonight.
Reposted by Calm As A Toe
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. filling an IV bag from a murky puddle near Trump National's sixth tee. "The president needs parameciums," he tells the assembled media. "It's the only treatment proven to work in real testing." His golf cart is piled high with dozens of dead birds.
September 1, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. filling an IV bag from a murky puddle near Trump National's sixth tee. "The president needs parameciums," he tells the assembled media. "It's the only treatment proven to work in real testing." His golf cart is piled high with dozens of dead birds.
Social consumption of #AI images fascinates me. There’s one camp that just shrugs and thinks, “Wow that’s terrible,” or maybe chuckles and thinks, “Good one.”
The other camp yells “FAKE SLOP!” Like, no kidding guy. The man has 13 fingers and the digital clock is in cunieform. You want a cookie?
The other camp yells “FAKE SLOP!” Like, no kidding guy. The man has 13 fingers and the digital clock is in cunieform. You want a cookie?
August 20, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Social consumption of #AI images fascinates me. There’s one camp that just shrugs and thinks, “Wow that’s terrible,” or maybe chuckles and thinks, “Good one.”
The other camp yells “FAKE SLOP!” Like, no kidding guy. The man has 13 fingers and the digital clock is in cunieform. You want a cookie?
The other camp yells “FAKE SLOP!” Like, no kidding guy. The man has 13 fingers and the digital clock is in cunieform. You want a cookie?
The photo of Trump in the White House gift shop with the MAGA hat display has been going around, but I haven’t seen any posts of how he redecorated the gift shop entryway for all the dignitaries to see. #WhiteHouse
August 20, 2025 at 2:30 AM
The photo of Trump in the White House gift shop with the MAGA hat display has been going around, but I haven’t seen any posts of how he redecorated the gift shop entryway for all the dignitaries to see. #WhiteHouse