Elbridge Colby, UnderSecWar / Yale JD (satire)
@bridgecolbysatire.bsky.social
I'm the Pentagon's head policy guru (chief “undersecretary”) as well as the world’s most brilliant military strategist, cheese aficionado, and debonaire bon vivant. Like a finely aged Gruyère, I'm complex, subtle, and totally awesome. (satire)
I feel like I’m the most interesting +/- 2 years at my high school since I’m number three at the Pentagon, have a JD from Yale, and wrote the most important foreign-policy book of a generation. I also crush Princess Peach in Mario Kart.
November 18, 2025 at 11:46 PM
I feel like I’m the most interesting +/- 2 years at my high school since I’m number three at the Pentagon, have a JD from Yale, and wrote the most important foreign-policy book of a generation. I also crush Princess Peach in Mario Kart.
Can she profile me next!? I was just in @politico.com so I’ve finally reached the big time!
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
Republicans turn on Trump’s defense policy chief
Administration allies say they are fed up with the Defense Department’s third-most senior leader and his foreign policy surprises.
www.politico.com
November 18, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Can she profile me next!? I was just in @politico.com so I’ve finally reached the big time!
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
But I have a JD from Yale and wrote the most important book ever on foreign policy! Don’t think I should be discredited just cause I have a killer title: Undersecretary of War, BAM! Don’t hate the player, hate the game…
November 17, 2025 at 9:35 PM
But I have a JD from Yale and wrote the most important book ever on foreign policy! Don’t think I should be discredited just cause I have a killer title: Undersecretary of War, BAM! Don’t hate the player, hate the game…
Sorry, but two billies is easily worth it for my biz cards to read “undersecretary of war.” That’s beyond badass, and I won’t let you take that away from me!
November 17, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Sorry, but two billies is easily worth it for my biz cards to read “undersecretary of war.” That’s beyond badass, and I won’t let you take that away from me!
Can we please name an operation after my book? It’s not quite Midnight Thrust or Rough Rider or Southern Spear or and of the other names from SecWar Pete’s private video collection, but it has a certain ring…
www.amazon.com/Strategy-Den...
www.amazon.com/Strategy-Den...
The Strategy of Denial: American Defense in an Age of Great Power Conflict
Amazon.com: The Strategy of Denial: American Defense in an Age of Great Power Conflict: 9780300256437: Colby, Elbridge A.: Books
www.amazon.com
November 17, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Can we please name an operation after my book? It’s not quite Midnight Thrust or Rough Rider or Southern Spear or and of the other names from SecWar Pete’s private video collection, but it has a certain ring…
www.amazon.com/Strategy-Den...
www.amazon.com/Strategy-Den...
We could do Operation Hardbody Desperados. Does that work for you?
November 16, 2025 at 3:36 AM
We could do Operation Hardbody Desperados. Does that work for you?
How did you get access to our war plans if things get bad in Iraq again? Did someone accidentally put you on the new Signal chat? Divulging classified material is a felony!
November 16, 2025 at 2:53 AM
How did you get access to our war plans if things get bad in Iraq again? Did someone accidentally put you on the new Signal chat? Divulging classified material is a felony!
Perfect for our invasion of Greenland!
November 16, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Perfect for our invasion of Greenland!
That would actually be really good for our forthcoming ops in Nigeria to save the cherished Christians.
November 16, 2025 at 2:50 AM
That would actually be really good for our forthcoming ops in Nigeria to save the cherished Christians.
That’s actually what we were gonna call the upcoming hits on Mexican cartels because cockfighting is bad and the cartels are like crime rings. What am I missing?
November 16, 2025 at 2:50 AM
That’s actually what we were gonna call the upcoming hits on Mexican cartels because cockfighting is bad and the cartels are like crime rings. What am I missing?
Damn, yall figured it out. I’ll tell SecWar Pete we gotta change it up. Unless we should lean into it?
November 16, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Damn, yall figured it out. I’ll tell SecWar Pete we gotta change it up. Unless we should lean into it?
What the heck, @politico.com !? Yall dump all over me but suck up to Mikey N. and he hasn’t even written a powerhouse book on grand strategy nor attained a JD from Yale like me! So unfair…
dlvr.it/TPGbjP
dlvr.it/TPGbjP
Republicans turn on Trump’s defense policy chief
Administration allies say they are fed up with the Defense Department’s third-most senior leader and his foreign policy surprises.
dlvr.it
November 15, 2025 at 10:20 PM
What the heck, @politico.com !? Yall dump all over me but suck up to Mikey N. and he hasn’t even written a powerhouse book on grand strategy nor attained a JD from Yale like me! So unfair…
dlvr.it/TPGbjP
dlvr.it/TPGbjP
It also has a female name, so that’s another reason we’re targeting it. The Warrior Ethos doesn’t allow for female city names!
November 15, 2025 at 9:39 PM
It also has a female name, so that’s another reason we’re targeting it. The Warrior Ethos doesn’t allow for female city names!
This is my second fav show right behind British Bakeoff!
November 15, 2025 at 9:36 PM
This is my second fav show right behind British Bakeoff!
I’ve been trying to give Parlatore tips on the side part, but he just doesn’t listen. So he winds up looking like a swollen potato with a bad toupee. Not hellah alpha, tbh.
November 15, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I’ve been trying to give Parlatore tips on the side part, but he just doesn’t listen. So he winds up looking like a swollen potato with a bad toupee. Not hellah alpha, tbh.
Did I mention I also have a JD from Yale? That means you call me Dr. Colby, esquire, or else I won’t invite you to the Gatsby Party at the DJT ballroom. Not that I don’t already have a date. Lots of people wanna go with me. Tons. I promise. I HAVE FRIENDS WHO LIKE ME!!!
November 15, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Did I mention I also have a JD from Yale? That means you call me Dr. Colby, esquire, or else I won’t invite you to the Gatsby Party at the DJT ballroom. Not that I don’t already have a date. Lots of people wanna go with me. Tons. I promise. I HAVE FRIENDS WHO LIKE ME!!!
Yes but I get to call myself the UnderSecWar, which is a super badass title and easily worth two billies. Everyone loves me!
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
Republicans turn on Trump’s defense policy chief
Administration allies say they are fed up with the Defense Department’s third-most senior leader and his foreign policy surprises.
www.politico.com
November 14, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Yes but I get to call myself the UnderSecWar, which is a super badass title and easily worth two billies. Everyone loves me!
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
www.politico.com/news/2025/11...
But hey, the pic is pretty badass. Psyched that it highlights the killer side part, so kudos Politico.
November 14, 2025 at 11:42 PM
But hey, the pic is pretty badass. Psyched that it highlights the killer side part, so kudos Politico.
Jack you are so biased against senior DoW officials like me. This isn’t a “slo-mo war rehearsal.” It’s totally fast and awesome, so fast it’s like SecWar Pete when he’s doing his (nontraditional) pull-ups. We are hellah alpha!
November 14, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Jack you are so biased against senior DoW officials like me. This isn’t a “slo-mo war rehearsal.” It’s totally fast and awesome, so fast it’s like SecWar Pete when he’s doing his (nontraditional) pull-ups. We are hellah alpha!