Erin Swartz (she/her)
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bouzannesnaques.bsky.social
Erin Swartz (she/her)
@bouzannesnaques.bsky.social
Science Educator
LGBTQIA+
Dog Mom
Hooman Mom
I like silly stuff
I also answer to Mrs. Wartz
Typos are my love nots
Doyenne of Awkwardness
Sarcasm and snacks are my love languages
Rocking up on this Monday like the sexy bitch that I am🤣
December 1, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Santa's Little Helper🐶
November 30, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Stinkybutt got a bath and a big haircut today. An insufficient amount of cheese tax has been paid.
November 28, 2025 at 5:40 AM
BTW, I'm bringing sexy back for Thanksgiving. Upholding some traditions is important🤣
November 28, 2025 at 12:38 AM
My "decolonizing the holidays" is a thinly veiled attempt at being really lazy. It's nice❤️
November 27, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Mini piecakin = Coconut cake crust with pumpkin pie custard.
November 26, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Accidentally gave myself JoJo potato eyebrows this morning and now I look like Kathy Bates' character, Annie Wilkes, from the Shining.
November 24, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Reposted by Erin Swartz (she/her)
Just added "bifocal curious" to my dating profile
November 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
A single Hoka One along the bike path. Was the paired life of the pool party scene too predictable? I see that you're pointed towards Mt. Diablo, but that terrain is much too steep for your physique. Perhaps you craved a solo existence, content to listen to the rumble of traffic along Hwy. 84?
November 24, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Nighty night🥱
November 23, 2025 at 6:35 AM
My dog is so annoyed with me right now that she put herself to bed and didn't even bother to come over to say, good night"😅
November 22, 2025 at 5:06 AM
NSFW. Bringing sexy back this morning ;)
November 19, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Wearing my fat pants and eating snacks tonight.
November 19, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Cheers and Happy Friday🍷
November 15, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Thankful today for our past, present, and future veterans. Your work is complex, incredibly difficult, and appreciated!
November 11, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Is there anything more divine than eating your body weight equivalent in Mexican food?
November 9, 2025 at 3:35 AM
My Frankenstein-inspired dinner: leftover rice, soy sauce scrambled eggs, spinach sautéed in chili and toasted sesame oil, avocado, snipped green onion, and sweet chili sauce🍛
November 8, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Reposted by Erin Swartz (she/her)
Never let anyone tell you empathy is a weakness or a problem.
November 6, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Good morning!
November 6, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Reposted by Erin Swartz (she/her)
Everybody needs three types of friends: one actual adult friend to give you good advice when you need it, one introvert friend who always just wants to watch movies in their pajamas, and then also a tight-knit gang of cantankerous yet clumsy raccoons for capers and hijinks
November 5, 2025 at 4:00 PM
In the span of one week, we will have had Halloween, a full moon, and a time change. Everybody is out of their minds right now!
November 4, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Mother, I am dying from hunger, for it is past my dinnertime.
November 3, 2025 at 12:19 AM
So, I woke up to find half of a dead bird left on my lawn and got a bunch of blood drawn at the hospital lab on Halloween.
November 1, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Indian Summer! Chilly mornings and toasty warm afternoons! Enjoying the sun today😎
October 29, 2025 at 9:33 PM