Erin Swartz (she/her)
@bouzannesnaques.bsky.social
Science Educator
LGBTQIA+
Dog Mom
Hooman Mom
I like silly stuff
I also answer to Mrs. Wartz
Typos are my love nots
Doyenne of Awkwardness
Sarcasm and snacks are my love languages
LGBTQIA+
Dog Mom
Hooman Mom
I like silly stuff
I also answer to Mrs. Wartz
Typos are my love nots
Doyenne of Awkwardness
Sarcasm and snacks are my love languages
Rocking up on this Monday like the sexy bitch that I am🤣
December 1, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Rocking up on this Monday like the sexy bitch that I am🤣
Santa's Little Helper🐶
November 30, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Santa's Little Helper🐶
Stinkybutt got a bath and a big haircut today. An insufficient amount of cheese tax has been paid.
November 28, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Stinkybutt got a bath and a big haircut today. An insufficient amount of cheese tax has been paid.
BTW, I'm bringing sexy back for Thanksgiving. Upholding some traditions is important🤣
November 28, 2025 at 12:38 AM
BTW, I'm bringing sexy back for Thanksgiving. Upholding some traditions is important🤣
My "decolonizing the holidays" is a thinly veiled attempt at being really lazy. It's nice❤️
November 27, 2025 at 8:57 PM
My "decolonizing the holidays" is a thinly veiled attempt at being really lazy. It's nice❤️
Mini piecakin = Coconut cake crust with pumpkin pie custard.
November 26, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Mini piecakin = Coconut cake crust with pumpkin pie custard.
Accidentally gave myself JoJo potato eyebrows this morning and now I look like Kathy Bates' character, Annie Wilkes, from the Shining.
November 24, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Accidentally gave myself JoJo potato eyebrows this morning and now I look like Kathy Bates' character, Annie Wilkes, from the Shining.
Reposted by Erin Swartz (she/her)
Just added "bifocal curious" to my dating profile
November 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Just added "bifocal curious" to my dating profile
A single Hoka One along the bike path. Was the paired life of the pool party scene too predictable? I see that you're pointed towards Mt. Diablo, but that terrain is much too steep for your physique. Perhaps you craved a solo existence, content to listen to the rumble of traffic along Hwy. 84?
November 24, 2025 at 12:59 AM
A single Hoka One along the bike path. Was the paired life of the pool party scene too predictable? I see that you're pointed towards Mt. Diablo, but that terrain is much too steep for your physique. Perhaps you craved a solo existence, content to listen to the rumble of traffic along Hwy. 84?
Nighty night🥱
November 23, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Nighty night🥱
My dog is so annoyed with me right now that she put herself to bed and didn't even bother to come over to say, good night"😅
November 22, 2025 at 5:06 AM
My dog is so annoyed with me right now that she put herself to bed and didn't even bother to come over to say, good night"😅
NSFW. Bringing sexy back this morning ;)
November 19, 2025 at 3:06 PM
NSFW. Bringing sexy back this morning ;)
Wearing my fat pants and eating snacks tonight.
November 19, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Wearing my fat pants and eating snacks tonight.
Cheers and Happy Friday🍷
November 15, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Cheers and Happy Friday🍷
Thankful today for our past, present, and future veterans. Your work is complex, incredibly difficult, and appreciated!
November 11, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Thankful today for our past, present, and future veterans. Your work is complex, incredibly difficult, and appreciated!
Is there anything more divine than eating your body weight equivalent in Mexican food?
November 9, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Is there anything more divine than eating your body weight equivalent in Mexican food?
My Frankenstein-inspired dinner: leftover rice, soy sauce scrambled eggs, spinach sautéed in chili and toasted sesame oil, avocado, snipped green onion, and sweet chili sauce🍛
November 8, 2025 at 2:08 AM
My Frankenstein-inspired dinner: leftover rice, soy sauce scrambled eggs, spinach sautéed in chili and toasted sesame oil, avocado, snipped green onion, and sweet chili sauce🍛
Reposted by Erin Swartz (she/her)
Never let anyone tell you empathy is a weakness or a problem.
November 6, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Never let anyone tell you empathy is a weakness or a problem.
Good morning!
November 6, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Good morning!
Reposted by Erin Swartz (she/her)
Everybody needs three types of friends: one actual adult friend to give you good advice when you need it, one introvert friend who always just wants to watch movies in their pajamas, and then also a tight-knit gang of cantankerous yet clumsy raccoons for capers and hijinks
November 5, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Everybody needs three types of friends: one actual adult friend to give you good advice when you need it, one introvert friend who always just wants to watch movies in their pajamas, and then also a tight-knit gang of cantankerous yet clumsy raccoons for capers and hijinks
In the span of one week, we will have had Halloween, a full moon, and a time change. Everybody is out of their minds right now!
November 4, 2025 at 9:55 PM
In the span of one week, we will have had Halloween, a full moon, and a time change. Everybody is out of their minds right now!
Mother, I am dying from hunger, for it is past my dinnertime.
November 3, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Mother, I am dying from hunger, for it is past my dinnertime.
So, I woke up to find half of a dead bird left on my lawn and got a bunch of blood drawn at the hospital lab on Halloween.
November 1, 2025 at 3:49 AM
So, I woke up to find half of a dead bird left on my lawn and got a bunch of blood drawn at the hospital lab on Halloween.
Indian Summer! Chilly mornings and toasty warm afternoons! Enjoying the sun today😎
October 29, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Indian Summer! Chilly mornings and toasty warm afternoons! Enjoying the sun today😎