it’s important to have two girl cats — one nice and one mean, both equally and devastatingly loved

Thinking of getting the surgery to fix my laugh

just cried my eyes out while watching a video transition from 23 y/o chris martin in the Yellow music video to 47 y/o him performing it this year

ok I think it’s crazy that this other scrabble go player keeps rematching me after losing bc he wants to be my scrabble nemesis so bad but u cannot play “lessen” for 8 points and expect to be in the big leagues babes!

as a gamer ive eliminated thousands of moo deng like creatures for their various parts . Ive completed countless quests using their pain

ok I’ll say it I love a little unassuming cartoon dog

I think I should be paid $100,000 a year to *loud foghorn noise* *traffic honking* *construction drilling noise* and I don’t see how that’s asking for too much

being locked in the basement of the woman I love would fix me

hey whoever works on interface design here should consider pitching something that isn’t giving a heavy LinkedIn in vibe

stevie has started responding to “steeb” “meow” and “estefania” can’t wait to see what else is in store

i will be the lefts joe Rogan. im gonna need 200 million dollars and also youre all gonna hate me

I own the business that manufacturers torturers kits, you know straight knives, curved knife, long hand saws, just like you see in movies. I’d say what I do is basically ethical

i've only been here for 3 seconds but already i am diagnosing the problem: bsky needs a scandal

just found out about lists... how come i'm not on any >:(