If you preorder a copy of Crime Ink: Iconic or buy a copy of The Get Off from an independent bookstore of your choice and email me your receipt dated between April 26 and May 3, I’ll donate 5 bucks to We Need Diverse Books. www.diversebooks.org

Haha. I'll be sure to quote that underneath any future Bolton News features (amongst all the inevitable racism and complaints about redevelopment).

I hope you aren't going to blank me next time I see you on the street as a result of this stardom.

Excellent. Fingers crossed for a combo of scenes reminiscent of 'Beyond The Valley of the Dolls', the bit with the elephant at the end of 'The Party' and a night with Ena, Martha and Minnie in the snug at The Rovers.

Good stuff. Is it fondue and babycham for the opening?

What a sad & pathetic individual. No doubt you have a double advantage over them in having a life which includes such lovely moments & also being able to appreciate them. So congratulations to you & yours & sod the loser, who can get blocked.

Toying with the idea of celebrating him by going on a cold blooded murder spree in my hometown, but will probably settle for wearing a decent shirt.

Oh aye. Should have come with a free pair of leopard print dancing shoes.

Damn. I was hoping for 'Maggot Brain'.

Congratulations, mate. (Does the fashion thing relate to y-fronts? I'm due a refresh.)

Both exemplary comps. To this day I'm periodically overcome by a burning desire to vamp about to 'House of Glass' by the Glass Family. In fact.....

Haven't read that one, but looking it up, looks pitch black & well worth searching out. Gifford recommendation definitely a tick for me.

Sadly that one charted lower than 'Now That's What 'I' Call Wimmin'.