i'd like to start a new subculture for people like me who are apartment dwellers and aren't allowed to have a gas or charcoal grill. we'll be like barbecue guys only for microwaves. we'll wear shirts to work that say "i'd rather be microwavin'!" and share microwave steak recipes and stuff

Chuck doesn’t care about the rest of America. Just hook up farmers in Iowa who desperately need Canadian potash. The rest of you can fuck off.

i try to say this often enough to keep a heartbeat but not so often that it comes off as corny: over the years trans and nb people have counted for a lot of the people who always show up for the stuff i make and share it around. just want to take a sec to let you know how much i appreciate you

shoplifting should take the place fishing used to occupy in our culture. avis of us wearing wraparound oakleys holding up cool stuff we stole, novelty "gone shopliftin'" door signs, that kind of stuff