Andrew Trout
@atrout.bsky.social
Cousin to Mike Trout, but not the one you're thinking of.
Doing one of the most terrifying things in my life thus far—attempting to schedule a playdate.
December 3, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Doing one of the most terrifying things in my life thus far—attempting to schedule a playdate.
My almost four-year-old turned from looking out the window and leaned close to me to sneeze directly on my face this morning.
Twice.
One two times.
My wife had to leave the room she was laughing so hard.
Twice.
One two times.
My wife had to leave the room she was laughing so hard.
November 13, 2025 at 7:36 PM
My almost four-year-old turned from looking out the window and leaned close to me to sneeze directly on my face this morning.
Twice.
One two times.
My wife had to leave the room she was laughing so hard.
Twice.
One two times.
My wife had to leave the room she was laughing so hard.
Orecchiette.
Finicky to cook as sticks together easily, making for under-cooked clumps of pasta.
Finicky to cook as sticks together easily, making for under-cooked clumps of pasta.
a second day of the same discourse? no. no thank you.
instead I need you to name your least favorite pasta shape
instead I need you to name your least favorite pasta shape
October 22, 2025 at 11:53 AM
Orecchiette.
Finicky to cook as sticks together easily, making for under-cooked clumps of pasta.
Finicky to cook as sticks together easily, making for under-cooked clumps of pasta.
It took my wife and I 45 minutes to get our kid to wear pants this morning.
my favorite part of parenting is getting my kids ready for school. cajoling, repeating myself, grinding my teeth as I shake with rage — I love starting each day the angriest I’ve ever been
October 9, 2025 at 1:22 PM
It took my wife and I 45 minutes to get our kid to wear pants this morning.
I really need to stop scheduling my annual exam for the day after the Bills have a frustrating loss.
October 6, 2025 at 1:26 PM
I really need to stop scheduling my annual exam for the day after the Bills have a frustrating loss.
Reposted by Andrew Trout
Seeing the Bill Watterson originals full of pencil lines of stuff that didn’t work, scuffs the eraser didn’t pick up, white out galore and more was something I needed to see to remind myself that nothing is perfect the first go and tweaks need to be made and you’re allowed to try again.
September 20, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Seeing the Bill Watterson originals full of pencil lines of stuff that didn’t work, scuffs the eraser didn’t pick up, white out galore and more was something I needed to see to remind myself that nothing is perfect the first go and tweaks need to be made and you’re allowed to try again.
Me: I am excited to sleep in this hotel room with no distractions, as my child is at their grandparents!
Hotel Room Alarm Clock: Imma fuck your shit up at 3:05 AM.
Hotel Room Alarm Clock: Imma fuck your shit up at 3:05 AM.
September 18, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Me: I am excited to sleep in this hotel room with no distractions, as my child is at their grandparents!
Hotel Room Alarm Clock: Imma fuck your shit up at 3:05 AM.
Hotel Room Alarm Clock: Imma fuck your shit up at 3:05 AM.
Guess who has two thumbs and forgot to run the dishwasher last night? That's right—this guy!
September 11, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Guess who has two thumbs and forgot to run the dishwasher last night? That's right—this guy!
Did Pints with the Lads last night (cc: @peterberkes.bsky.social) and feel a million times better. We talked about a friend's new house and job, and how much it sucks getting kicked in the nuts by your kid.
Highly recommend (pints, not getting kicked in the nuts), doing it again next month.
Highly recommend (pints, not getting kicked in the nuts), doing it again next month.
August 22, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Did Pints with the Lads last night (cc: @peterberkes.bsky.social) and feel a million times better. We talked about a friend's new house and job, and how much it sucks getting kicked in the nuts by your kid.
Highly recommend (pints, not getting kicked in the nuts), doing it again next month.
Highly recommend (pints, not getting kicked in the nuts), doing it again next month.
@actioncookbook.com JetBlue flights offer a cockpit view for the ultimate in-fight entertainment experience.
August 14, 2025 at 9:55 PM
@actioncookbook.com JetBlue flights offer a cockpit view for the ultimate in-fight entertainment experience.
Picking ice cubes out of my gin and tonic so it doesn’t get watered down before I finish it.
August 13, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Picking ice cubes out of my gin and tonic so it doesn’t get watered down before I finish it.
Death, taxes, and my wife's aunt spelling the recipient's name wrong in a happy birthday e-mail.
August 6, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Death, taxes, and my wife's aunt spelling the recipient's name wrong in a happy birthday e-mail.
Spent three straight hours telling my toddler 'no.' I'm really looking forward to the phase where they're a sullen teenage who won't talk to me and just hides in their bedroom.
August 5, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Spent three straight hours telling my toddler 'no.' I'm really looking forward to the phase where they're a sullen teenage who won't talk to me and just hides in their bedroom.
Staring at huge weed in the flower bed of my kid's daycare, fighting the urge to pull out.
July 29, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Staring at huge weed in the flower bed of my kid's daycare, fighting the urge to pull out.
Guess who has a new car battery courtesy of the two greatest words in automotive repair: Under. Warranty.
July 28, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Guess who has a new car battery courtesy of the two greatest words in automotive repair: Under. Warranty.
Whenever my son grabs a copy of Fountainhead off the bookshelf I find myself wondering if this is how I find Cato Institute white papers in his room in ten years
July 24, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Whenever my son grabs a copy of Fountainhead off the bookshelf I find myself wondering if this is how I find Cato Institute white papers in his room in ten years
I've been a homeowner for over nine years, and still find myself amazed by how little 10 bags of mulch actually covers.
July 21, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I've been a homeowner for over nine years, and still find myself amazed by how little 10 bags of mulch actually covers.
Waiting at a bar to meet a fellow Dad for a beer, trying to be cool that they’re running late, not thinking about how much easier it is to be anti social.
July 15, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Waiting at a bar to meet a fellow Dad for a beer, trying to be cool that they’re running late, not thinking about how much easier it is to be anti social.
I really wish the Libby app and my library app could talk to each other so I would only have to manage one list of books I want to read/listen to.
July 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I really wish the Libby app and my library app could talk to each other so I would only have to manage one list of books I want to read/listen to.
My wife texted me that she Randy Johnson'd a bird while driving to work today.
July 2, 2025 at 2:16 PM
My wife texted me that she Randy Johnson'd a bird while driving to work today.
"Adventures with Dumb Recruiters" is a fun show where sometimes recruiters will use my work email address to send job postings that they think I should apply for.
June 27, 2025 at 6:35 PM
"Adventures with Dumb Recruiters" is a fun show where sometimes recruiters will use my work email address to send job postings that they think I should apply for.
Me: I hope I'm not like the constituents in Parks & Rec during public comments when I ask for a crosswalk at this town board meeting.
Neighbor: I MEASURED THE ROAD, WE CAN FIT MORE STREET PARKING IF THE CENTER LINE IS MOVED
Me: Whew, yeah, glad to be a normie!
Neighbor: I MEASURED THE ROAD, WE CAN FIT MORE STREET PARKING IF THE CENTER LINE IS MOVED
Me: Whew, yeah, glad to be a normie!
June 25, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Me: I hope I'm not like the constituents in Parks & Rec during public comments when I ask for a crosswalk at this town board meeting.
Neighbor: I MEASURED THE ROAD, WE CAN FIT MORE STREET PARKING IF THE CENTER LINE IS MOVED
Me: Whew, yeah, glad to be a normie!
Neighbor: I MEASURED THE ROAD, WE CAN FIT MORE STREET PARKING IF THE CENTER LINE IS MOVED
Me: Whew, yeah, glad to be a normie!
The dog stole my seat. I’m powerless to complain as she’s a very pretty girl.
June 22, 2025 at 4:47 PM
The dog stole my seat. I’m powerless to complain as she’s a very pretty girl.
If you ever want to close out your tab fast at a dive bar, bring your 3-year old in with you. They know you need to get out of there FAST.
June 20, 2025 at 10:19 PM
If you ever want to close out your tab fast at a dive bar, bring your 3-year old in with you. They know you need to get out of there FAST.