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@astromushie.bsky.social
aspiring tomb raider | caffeine addict | irreverent goofball - www.ko-fi.com/astromushie
what if, and hear me out here, i cashed in my (appalling, shockingly) meager 401k that’s meant to sustain (ha!) me in my twilight years and instead use it to fund a (single) plane ticket to some far off place where no one knows who i am and i can forget everyone who’s ever wronged me?
what if?
what if?
June 26, 2024 at 10:48 PM
what if, and hear me out here, i cashed in my (appalling, shockingly) meager 401k that’s meant to sustain (ha!) me in my twilight years and instead use it to fund a (single) plane ticket to some far off place where no one knows who i am and i can forget everyone who’s ever wronged me?
what if?
what if?
brb just absolutely wrecked over how we domesticated pigeons and then discarded them like they were yesterdays jam nbd
June 21, 2024 at 5:38 PM
brb just absolutely wrecked over how we domesticated pigeons and then discarded them like they were yesterdays jam nbd
why is deciding to make a diet change that you know will make you feel better in the long run such a hard thing to do?
June 16, 2024 at 4:28 PM
why is deciding to make a diet change that you know will make you feel better in the long run such a hard thing to do?
there is no greater shame than typo-ing while attempting to correct a previous typo
June 6, 2024 at 9:21 PM
there is no greater shame than typo-ing while attempting to correct a previous typo
honest to god, having a narcissistic mother is one of the most exhausting, traumatic things i’ve ever had to deal with
June 6, 2024 at 12:02 AM
honest to god, having a narcissistic mother is one of the most exhausting, traumatic things i’ve ever had to deal with
don’t you hate it when someone starts a sentence with “hey fun fact-“ and the fact isn’t very fun at all?
June 3, 2024 at 8:10 PM
don’t you hate it when someone starts a sentence with “hey fun fact-“ and the fact isn’t very fun at all?
why yes, debrah, i do want to listen to you bitch for 40 minutes bc you won’t let me tell you you’ve called the wrong company. how did you know?
June 3, 2024 at 2:04 PM
why yes, debrah, i do want to listen to you bitch for 40 minutes bc you won’t let me tell you you’ve called the wrong company. how did you know?
why do my gluten free pretzels taste like marshmallow
June 2, 2024 at 1:33 AM
why do my gluten free pretzels taste like marshmallow
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My last words are going to be “here comes my dead body, deal with it”
June 1, 2024 at 1:54 PM
My last words are going to be “here comes my dead body, deal with it”
nobody:
me, eating a tootsie pop: you know, this wouldn’t happen if we powered everything with sunlight
me, eating a tootsie pop: you know, this wouldn’t happen if we powered everything with sunlight
June 2, 2024 at 12:00 AM
nobody:
me, eating a tootsie pop: you know, this wouldn’t happen if we powered everything with sunlight
me, eating a tootsie pop: you know, this wouldn’t happen if we powered everything with sunlight
small town living is when your power goes out and you go out on the front porch to yell toward the neighbors to see if they lost theirs too
June 1, 2024 at 11:28 PM
small town living is when your power goes out and you go out on the front porch to yell toward the neighbors to see if they lost theirs too
impromptu piercings sure do have a way of making a person feel better.
June 1, 2024 at 6:18 PM
impromptu piercings sure do have a way of making a person feel better.
what’s the meaning of life if not to be drunk at a renaissance festival, aggressively swatting at hornets whilst trying to chug another goblet of mead?
June 1, 2024 at 4:00 AM
what’s the meaning of life if not to be drunk at a renaissance festival, aggressively swatting at hornets whilst trying to chug another goblet of mead?
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terrible news for my haters today as analysts have determined i’m going to get progressively hotter and more interesting until i die
May 31, 2024 at 7:38 PM
terrible news for my haters today as analysts have determined i’m going to get progressively hotter and more interesting until i die
catch me trying this trick to give myself a hefty raise.
Setting a trap for a CEO that can only be avoided by reading the second paragraph of my email
June 1, 2024 at 3:03 AM
catch me trying this trick to give myself a hefty raise.
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I'm not like other girls, I'm a numbers station that's been continuously reciting the digits of pi to the tune of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" since 1953.
May 31, 2024 at 9:21 PM
I'm not like other girls, I'm a numbers station that's been continuously reciting the digits of pi to the tune of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" since 1953.
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i want to open the refrigerator and have a dr. seuss hand on a metal rod give me a club sandwich. and yet all silicon valley has for me is so called "A I"
May 29, 2024 at 7:23 PM
i want to open the refrigerator and have a dr. seuss hand on a metal rod give me a club sandwich. and yet all silicon valley has for me is so called "A I"
i spend entirely too much time worrying about frogs
June 1, 2024 at 2:38 AM
i spend entirely too much time worrying about frogs
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i have perfectly balanced the amount of caffeine and nicotine in my body and if i can maintain this for another few hours i will gain the ability to time travel
May 31, 2024 at 8:21 PM
i have perfectly balanced the amount of caffeine and nicotine in my body and if i can maintain this for another few hours i will gain the ability to time travel
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My summer body is almost ready. Just waiting for my gills & tentacles to finish coming in. Then I'll be ready to go and scare some fishermen.
May 31, 2024 at 7:00 PM
My summer body is almost ready. Just waiting for my gills & tentacles to finish coming in. Then I'll be ready to go and scare some fishermen.
fin. all. y.
June 1, 2024 at 1:54 AM
fin. all. y.
adopted a kitten, thinking it’d be neat. it is, but see also: my anxiety is through the roof and i may cry at any given moment.
June 1, 2024 at 1:52 AM
adopted a kitten, thinking it’d be neat. it is, but see also: my anxiety is through the roof and i may cry at any given moment.
98% sure i was a nightjar in another life
June 1, 2024 at 1:46 AM
98% sure i was a nightjar in another life