tell a trans girl she doesnt need to talk down about herself like that & all of a sudden she’s posting selfies labeled like Abed’s robocop-bitch vision on that episode of Community that Hillary Duff was in

My girlfriend just laughed in her sleep what the fuck. she better be reading my posts in her dreams

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
🖖

me: "Yeah, so no matter the gender, a protracted sniper duel is yuri, just like in fencing."

Ulysses S. Grant who I raised from the dead in order to turn him woke: "I understand, but when the sharks in the sea take one another to pieces, that is...yaoi?"

me: "have you even been fucking listening?"

i kinda get it... i understand JD Vance

I kept hearing my cat chewing last night under the bed and finally I checked it out and he had been eating an entire box of Cheez It’s

TIL my cat likes watching me do yoyo tricks

Study: Anxiety Natural Response To Suited Men Wearing Shades Closing In From All Angles
theonion.com/study-anxiet...

Saying that elden ring should have an easy mode in a room full of men just to feel something

(Standing outside a What-a-Burger) this is a massive W