Alex Blechman
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alexblechman.bsky.social
Alex Blechman
@alexblechman.bsky.social
Writer, game designer
Former Staff Writer @TheOnion & @ClickHole.
Words for Netflix, Jackbox Games, High On Life, Starship Troopers: Terran Command, Saints Row, Kraft Heinz, Darkhorse, Team Coco, other places

alexanderblechman.com
November 9, 2025 at 5:43 PM
This meme implies astronauts are constantly shooting each other in space to cover up a horrific secret. In fact that has only happened 4 times in NASA’s entire history
November 9, 2025 at 5:30 PM
I’m convinced. Going to play this instead of Silksong
September 4, 2025 at 1:53 PM
I was too scared to click on this ad. Why do I have to disappear for 1 month? Is disappearing mandatory? Vanishing usually isn’t part of a sales pitch. “Go off the grid for 5 years and return having experienced the great taste of DrPepper”
August 6, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Does this count
August 6, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Does society owe them a free $10,000 Star Trek: TNG pinball machine? Yes, if they want it badly enough. Also, society should send out a repairman every few weeks due to this particular model’s notably finicky design flaws that require frequent maintenance
August 2, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Hello there is a fake me. That is not my account. They are using a hyphen as a cunning disguise
July 28, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Since you folks like Star Wars jokes, let’s see if you enjoy this one I posted on twitter 5 years ago

It probably only works in the immediate context of the 2020 Democratic primary debates, but hey you never know
May 19, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Whew, I’m glad that cardinal was wrong and the US got a pope without first suffering a political, cultural, and economic decline
May 8, 2025 at 6:09 PM
April 28, 2025 at 6:43 PM
April 22, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Me: I would like to buy a Switch 2. How much will it cost?

Global Trade War:
April 15, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Economic indicators remain poor
March 12, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Look what vandals did to this car. I don’t care what your politics are, defacing a random person’s vehicle is wrong. They have to drive this to work
March 11, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Twitter Guy: We must leave NATO to restore America to the golden age of the 1950s
March 3, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Sorry but I’m rating this survival bunker 3/10 on the Apoc-O-Meter

Where’s the giant domed room to project a facsimile of the sky on the ceiling? Where’s the perfect replica of a 1950s town main street? Where’s the giant steel door leading deeper underground the elders insist remain forever sealed?
February 25, 2025 at 7:10 PM
February 15, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Cutting out chunks of the airplane and saying “looks like we didn’t need that” because you’re still flying
February 14, 2025 at 5:47 PM
For serious discussions that require a mature attitude, I would limit replies to people with The Stanley Parable achievement Go Outside
February 7, 2025 at 8:16 PM
A story in 4 parts
February 5, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Whether you like it or not, in Star Trek’s fictional timeline Elon Musk is canonically one of history’s greatest inventors

This is in spite of the alt-right politics and not because of SpaceX. It’s because the Cybertruck 2 was just that good. Way better than the Cybertruck and every other car
January 29, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Why are the topical jokes I wrote 8 years ago relevant again
January 28, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Terrible news for the United States and also for this guy
January 28, 2025 at 3:01 AM
The tech industry should team up and combine all their resources into making Dungeon Raid work on my phone again. They should do it even if it’ll cost $2 trillion dollars
January 28, 2025 at 12:12 AM
DeepSeek can’t do this
January 28, 2025 at 12:02 AM