Alastair Craig
@alastaircraig.bsky.social
Brisbane writer, filmmaker, avid reader, tired dad, one half of comedy writing duo Cheeky Moon, and very pleased to meet you.
Award-winning dramedy web series “IT’S A CULT!” out now on YouTube: http://tinyurl.com/cultyoutube
[He/him]
Award-winning dramedy web series “IT’S A CULT!” out now on YouTube: http://tinyurl.com/cultyoutube
[He/him]
Standing on a street corner, slowly munching on a pie in the hopes somebody will ask me how it is and I can say “satis-pie-ing”.
It’s been a long and uncertain few years but I’ve got a feeling today’s the day.
It’s been a long and uncertain few years but I’ve got a feeling today’s the day.
November 6, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Standing on a street corner, slowly munching on a pie in the hopes somebody will ask me how it is and I can say “satis-pie-ing”.
It’s been a long and uncertain few years but I’ve got a feeling today’s the day.
It’s been a long and uncertain few years but I’ve got a feeling today’s the day.
I once had a dream that “DANCE CLASS!” was a common expression of approval, a la “Awesome!”
Hear me out: what if we all give it a try today? Just slip it into conversation to hear how natural it sounds?
Maybe dreams can come true.
Hear me out: what if we all give it a try today? Just slip it into conversation to hear how natural it sounds?
Maybe dreams can come true.
November 3, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I once had a dream that “DANCE CLASS!” was a common expression of approval, a la “Awesome!”
Hear me out: what if we all give it a try today? Just slip it into conversation to hear how natural it sounds?
Maybe dreams can come true.
Hear me out: what if we all give it a try today? Just slip it into conversation to hear how natural it sounds?
Maybe dreams can come true.
(Sound on) My five-year-old is helping me take inventory.
Needs more Terry Pratchett.
Needs more Terry Pratchett.
October 23, 2025 at 4:34 AM
(Sound on) My five-year-old is helping me take inventory.
Needs more Terry Pratchett.
Needs more Terry Pratchett.
It is my sincere hope that the Louvre thieves all turn out to be women, and that history will fondly look back on this as the start of Heist Girl Summer.
October 21, 2025 at 4:56 AM
It is my sincere hope that the Louvre thieves all turn out to be women, and that history will fondly look back on this as the start of Heist Girl Summer.
Heist's are back baby. They're good again. Awoouu (wolf Howl)
October 21, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Heist's are back baby. They're good again. Awoouu (wolf Howl)
Heed this cautionary tale:
A few weeks ago I thought it might be time to reread The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings for the first time since childhood. I went looking for some nice illustrated hardbacks.
I am now a boring middle-aged dad with a new hobby. It could happen to you.
#tolkien #lotr #books
A few weeks ago I thought it might be time to reread The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings for the first time since childhood. I went looking for some nice illustrated hardbacks.
I am now a boring middle-aged dad with a new hobby. It could happen to you.
#tolkien #lotr #books
September 30, 2025 at 6:07 AM
Reposted by Alastair Craig
theyre saying its the most beautiful blood anyone has coughed up
September 2, 2025 at 1:29 AM
theyre saying its the most beautiful blood anyone has coughed up
Charming premise and animation aside: this movie has my five-year-old daughter memorising K-pop rap lyrics. For this alone, the world is a better place.
August 10, 2025 at 9:32 AM
Charming premise and animation aside: this movie has my five-year-old daughter memorising K-pop rap lyrics. For this alone, the world is a better place.
Reposted by Alastair Craig
Patient, sobbing: But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci!
ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.
ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.
August 7, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Patient, sobbing: But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci!
ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.
ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.
Why are people mad at me for advertising George Clooney as the title character for my small town theatre production of #WaitingForGodot? He did everything the role of Godot asked of him.
July 28, 2025 at 7:38 AM
Why are people mad at me for advertising George Clooney as the title character for my small town theatre production of #WaitingForGodot? He did everything the role of Godot asked of him.
Proud to be among the last generation of Australian schoolchildren to mispronounce ‘matrix’ (to rhyme with ‘hat tricks’) before the 1999 movie blew our minds and corrected our lexicons.
July 13, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Proud to be among the last generation of Australian schoolchildren to mispronounce ‘matrix’ (to rhyme with ‘hat tricks’) before the 1999 movie blew our minds and corrected our lexicons.
Holding my daughter close.
Partly out of absolute and unconditional love.
Partly because if she steps more than one metre away I cease to be a wholesome dad wearing a sparkling Elsa hairband in solidarity and immediately become a contextless weirdo in a shopping centre.
Partly out of absolute and unconditional love.
Partly because if she steps more than one metre away I cease to be a wholesome dad wearing a sparkling Elsa hairband in solidarity and immediately become a contextless weirdo in a shopping centre.
July 1, 2025 at 10:16 AM
Holding my daughter close.
Partly out of absolute and unconditional love.
Partly because if she steps more than one metre away I cease to be a wholesome dad wearing a sparkling Elsa hairband in solidarity and immediately become a contextless weirdo in a shopping centre.
Partly out of absolute and unconditional love.
Partly because if she steps more than one metre away I cease to be a wholesome dad wearing a sparkling Elsa hairband in solidarity and immediately become a contextless weirdo in a shopping centre.
Who’s dreamier:
Greg from Greg’s Anatomy or Les from Les Misérables?
Greg from Greg’s Anatomy or Les from Les Misérables?
June 13, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Who’s dreamier:
Greg from Greg’s Anatomy or Les from Les Misérables?
Greg from Greg’s Anatomy or Les from Les Misérables?
I can live without the flying cars and hoverboards we were promised by 2025. But it’s harder to shake the strange sadness of hitting adulthood and learning the jacuzzi suit is not a real product grown-ups can purchase.
#TheSimpsons
#TheSimpsons
June 10, 2025 at 8:24 AM
I can live without the flying cars and hoverboards we were promised by 2025. But it’s harder to shake the strange sadness of hitting adulthood and learning the jacuzzi suit is not a real product grown-ups can purchase.
#TheSimpsons
#TheSimpsons
How petty am I?
When a friend said a joke tweet was bad in 2016, I registered the domain “besttweet [dot] online”, had it redirect to said tweet, and committed to a 5+ year bit.
I’m not sure he was ever aware I did it.
When a friend said a joke tweet was bad in 2016, I registered the domain “besttweet [dot] online”, had it redirect to said tweet, and committed to a 5+ year bit.
I’m not sure he was ever aware I did it.
June 4, 2025 at 4:43 AM
How petty am I?
When a friend said a joke tweet was bad in 2016, I registered the domain “besttweet [dot] online”, had it redirect to said tweet, and committed to a 5+ year bit.
I’m not sure he was ever aware I did it.
When a friend said a joke tweet was bad in 2016, I registered the domain “besttweet [dot] online”, had it redirect to said tweet, and committed to a 5+ year bit.
I’m not sure he was ever aware I did it.
Reposted by Alastair Craig
⚒️🧪 Thick black goop pouring from the earth is a horror often seen in TV shows or movies. Fortunately this is an amazing geological feature, and not a malevolent monster!
This 1956 pic is of a natural bitumen or asphalt seep pouring into a mine shaft in Lettomanoppello, Italy. 🧵
Pic: Cazzini (2018)
This 1956 pic is of a natural bitumen or asphalt seep pouring into a mine shaft in Lettomanoppello, Italy. 🧵
Pic: Cazzini (2018)
June 1, 2025 at 2:25 AM
⚒️🧪 Thick black goop pouring from the earth is a horror often seen in TV shows or movies. Fortunately this is an amazing geological feature, and not a malevolent monster!
This 1956 pic is of a natural bitumen or asphalt seep pouring into a mine shaft in Lettomanoppello, Italy. 🧵
Pic: Cazzini (2018)
This 1956 pic is of a natural bitumen or asphalt seep pouring into a mine shaft in Lettomanoppello, Italy. 🧵
Pic: Cazzini (2018)
I know you’re all eager for tonight’s #DoctorWho finale, but can we please dedicate the next few hours instead to this unreasonably funny moment from the missing 1964 serial “Marco Polo” in which the Doctor gets Ian’s name wrong?
May 31, 2025 at 10:22 AM
I know you’re all eager for tonight’s #DoctorWho finale, but can we please dedicate the next few hours instead to this unreasonably funny moment from the missing 1964 serial “Marco Polo” in which the Doctor gets Ian’s name wrong?
Watching Spaceballs (1987) for the first time and wishing I were enjoying it more.
It’s strange that all the Mel Brooks movies I happened to watch as a child are objectively hilarious and timeless, while the ones I’m only getting around to now in my 40s are pretty dull and dated.
It’s strange that all the Mel Brooks movies I happened to watch as a child are objectively hilarious and timeless, while the ones I’m only getting around to now in my 40s are pretty dull and dated.
May 30, 2025 at 10:18 AM
Watching Spaceballs (1987) for the first time and wishing I were enjoying it more.
It’s strange that all the Mel Brooks movies I happened to watch as a child are objectively hilarious and timeless, while the ones I’m only getting around to now in my 40s are pretty dull and dated.
It’s strange that all the Mel Brooks movies I happened to watch as a child are objectively hilarious and timeless, while the ones I’m only getting around to now in my 40s are pretty dull and dated.
This topical 2017 tweet never took off the way I’d hoped. Maybe it can get a fair go here?
If could you please all pretend it’s eight years ago and you’ve just seen the trailer for Super Mario Odyssey, and then reacquaint yourself with the 1995 Simpsons story “Homer³”, this should be a real hoot:
If could you please all pretend it’s eight years ago and you’ve just seen the trailer for Super Mario Odyssey, and then reacquaint yourself with the 1995 Simpsons story “Homer³”, this should be a real hoot:
May 28, 2025 at 7:41 PM
This topical 2017 tweet never took off the way I’d hoped. Maybe it can get a fair go here?
If could you please all pretend it’s eight years ago and you’ve just seen the trailer for Super Mario Odyssey, and then reacquaint yourself with the 1995 Simpsons story “Homer³”, this should be a real hoot:
If could you please all pretend it’s eight years ago and you’ve just seen the trailer for Super Mario Odyssey, and then reacquaint yourself with the 1995 Simpsons story “Homer³”, this should be a real hoot:
Reposted by Alastair Craig
Weird how Marilyn Manson’s lyrics were controversial in the 90s but don’t seem shocking at all anymore:
![Marilyn Manson
"Funky Frankenstein"
I snuck into Frankenstein's lab
A place I'd heard was very fab
But inside it seemed rather drab
Until I saw a monster on a slab
Lightning struck, the monster rose
Wearing funky disco clothes
It shook its hips and struck a pose
Then said "It's party time, let's go!"
[Chorus]
Funky Frankenstein alright
Frank is getting down tonight
Move over Drac-u-la
'Cause Frankentein's a superstar](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:mjh257xyug2mpodoyy3he5ih/bafkreidq52hnsugtuw2cwgkcitnrd7vn34rsicj6bkgzw5eekjc5zwidr4@jpeg)
May 28, 2025 at 10:12 AM
Weird how Marilyn Manson’s lyrics were controversial in the 90s but don’t seem shocking at all anymore:
Reposted by Alastair Craig
Accidentally said “Shirley” instead of “Siri” and now my phone is stuck in Flying High mode.
[Joke adjusted for Australian, New Zealand, South African, Japanese and Filipino VHS markets.]
[Joke adjusted for Australian, New Zealand, South African, Japanese and Filipino VHS markets.]
May 27, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Accidentally said “Shirley” instead of “Siri” and now my phone is stuck in Flying High mode.
[Joke adjusted for Australian, New Zealand, South African, Japanese and Filipino VHS markets.]
[Joke adjusted for Australian, New Zealand, South African, Japanese and Filipino VHS markets.]
Advertise your account with Simpsons image
May 26, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Advertise your account with Simpsons image