Ahou Mostowfi
@ahoumstwf.bsky.social
Chronically indoors, mumbling to books, buried in PDFs, and side-eyeing the concept of ‘functioning’.
“but i don’t want to go among mad people.”
“oh, you can’t help that.”
“we’re all mad here.”
“but i don’t want to go among mad people.”
“oh, you can’t help that.”
“we’re all mad here.”
Academic writing feels like sensory hell. It strangles joy and drowns thought. My crip autistic feelings spill wider than their tidy, elaborate argumentations. (I know part of this rage is my own ignorance showing.)
September 12, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Academic writing feels like sensory hell. It strangles joy and drowns thought. My crip autistic feelings spill wider than their tidy, elaborate argumentations. (I know part of this rage is my own ignorance showing.)
…you desperately wanted to glimpse some spark in yourself, and the mirror showed blankness.
August 22, 2025 at 10:49 PM
…you desperately wanted to glimpse some spark in yourself, and the mirror showed blankness.
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfi
Clinicians across medicine are familiar with an odd feature of descriptive diagnoses: they can bring patients real relief & provide an explanation, even without offering causes. In a new paper, @alanlevinovitz.bsky.social and I call this the Rumpelstiltskin effect.
www.cambridge.org/core/journal...
www.cambridge.org/core/journal...
The Rumpelstiltskin effect: therapeutic repercussions of clinical diagnosis | BJPsych Bulletin | Cambridge Core
The Rumpelstiltskin effect: therapeutic repercussions of clinical diagnosis
www.cambridge.org
August 22, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Clinicians across medicine are familiar with an odd feature of descriptive diagnoses: they can bring patients real relief & provide an explanation, even without offering causes. In a new paper, @alanlevinovitz.bsky.social and I call this the Rumpelstiltskin effect.
www.cambridge.org/core/journal...
www.cambridge.org/core/journal...
Spending most of my thesis writing hours asking AI if i can finish in time. guilty about the carbon footprint, guilty about the wasted time. mostly just lonely with my Word doc.
August 22, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Spending most of my thesis writing hours asking AI if i can finish in time. guilty about the carbon footprint, guilty about the wasted time. mostly just lonely with my Word doc.
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfi
The warm summer weather had CRAE folks reading:
The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
www.nature.com/artic...
The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
www.nature.com/artic...
The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
Scientific Reports - The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
www.nature.com
August 13, 2025 at 12:25 PM
The warm summer weather had CRAE folks reading:
The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
www.nature.com/artic...
The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
www.nature.com/artic...
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfi
To respect and recognize the weight of lived experience is to let in subjectivity, contradiction, etc. everything the clinic was built to manage or exclude. Listening like that isn’t neutral. It’s political. And medicine people are terrified of politics.
Many medical professionals aren’t offended by lived experience, they’re terrified of it. Not because it challenges their knowledge, but because it disarms the Law of the Father that granted them the authority to listen in the first place.
August 5, 2025 at 8:14 AM
To respect and recognize the weight of lived experience is to let in subjectivity, contradiction, etc. everything the clinic was built to manage or exclude. Listening like that isn’t neutral. It’s political. And medicine people are terrified of politics.
Many medical professionals aren’t offended by lived experience, they’re terrified of it. Not because it challenges their knowledge, but because it disarms the Law of the Father that granted them the authority to listen in the first place.
August 5, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Many medical professionals aren’t offended by lived experience, they’re terrified of it. Not because it challenges their knowledge, but because it disarms the Law of the Father that granted them the authority to listen in the first place.
Got inspired to integrate Zotero-enhanced Obsidian into my writing process. Now I feel awful. Haven’t felt this dumb in a long time. Funniest part? Most of the tutorials are by neurodivergent folks. Love that for me, a bad neurodivergent 😅
June 28, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Got inspired to integrate Zotero-enhanced Obsidian into my writing process. Now I feel awful. Haven’t felt this dumb in a long time. Funniest part? Most of the tutorials are by neurodivergent folks. Love that for me, a bad neurodivergent 😅
I’m heartbroken for the trees, cats, dogs, and birds of Tehran. My chest tightens when people ask me about the situation in Iran, I feel nothing but distance. Alienation. I have no one left under those missiles to worry about. No human ties. Only the weight of old traumas, resurfacing like ghosts.
June 15, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I’m heartbroken for the trees, cats, dogs, and birds of Tehran. My chest tightens when people ask me about the situation in Iran, I feel nothing but distance. Alienation. I have no one left under those missiles to worry about. No human ties. Only the weight of old traumas, resurfacing like ghosts.
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfi
Even by the standards of an evil administration, this is extraordinary.
May 22, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Even by the standards of an evil administration, this is extraordinary.
May 22, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Overjoyed and deeply moved by the tender, richly layered conversations on chronic illness and pain at TONGUES, the #NNMHR conference. Rare to feel so intellectually nourished and intimately seen.
May 21, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Overjoyed and deeply moved by the tender, richly layered conversations on chronic illness and pain at TONGUES, the #NNMHR conference. Rare to feel so intellectually nourished and intimately seen.
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfi
Art exists only in relation to the inevitability of death. There is no “AI art.”
This gets at like my favorite philosophical question raised by AI which is does human experience matter or is everything about human experience reducible to information
May 19, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Art exists only in relation to the inevitability of death. There is no “AI art.”
Think I am addicted to the adrenaline of last-minute chaos. Not mere procrastination… I deliberately delay things just to feel a specific kind of bodily intensity; painful, but also weirdly ecstatic. Almost erotic. Like my nervous system finally feels real under the weight of impending failure.
May 19, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Think I am addicted to the adrenaline of last-minute chaos. Not mere procrastination… I deliberately delay things just to feel a specific kind of bodily intensity; painful, but also weirdly ecstatic. Almost erotic. Like my nervous system finally feels real under the weight of impending failure.
Truly, ragefully reject the argument that “we’re all a little disabled” for erasing the politics of disability. However, reviewing a doc for accessibility, I’m struck by how able-bodiedness creates the illusion of clear communication
and even omniscience…
and even omniscience…
May 15, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Truly, ragefully reject the argument that “we’re all a little disabled” for erasing the politics of disability. However, reviewing a doc for accessibility, I’m struck by how able-bodiedness creates the illusion of clear communication
and even omniscience…
and even omniscience…
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfi
I think if I can just reach the stage of being a largely harmless person who doesn't make the institution I'm part of actively worse I'll feel better.
May 12, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I think if I can just reach the stage of being a largely harmless person who doesn't make the institution I'm part of actively worse I'll feel better.
Sometimes even I can’t find a way to deal with myself… don’t know how to move forward without making the wounded animal inside me rage.
May 12, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Sometimes even I can’t find a way to deal with myself… don’t know how to move forward without making the wounded animal inside me rage.
Been sitting on a chapter draft for two weeks. Not editing, not moving forward — just waiting for my advisor’s feedback. Telling myself it’s “productive waiting.”
May 12, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Been sitting on a chapter draft for two weeks. Not editing, not moving forward — just waiting for my advisor’s feedback. Telling myself it’s “productive waiting.”
And now Mother’s Day finally comes to an end. It serves as a reminder that I survived a woman who thrived on control, fear, and dependence. She didn’t raise me; I fought my way out from under her.
She taught me resilience by being the reason I needed it.
Thank you for the trauma, Mom.
She taught me resilience by being the reason I needed it.
Thank you for the trauma, Mom.
For my people who:
- Have lost their mother
- Are unable to carry children
- Are a single mother
- Have lost a child
- Foster/adopt
- Have miscarried
- Those with strained mother relationships
I see y’all too & your feelings are valid 💕🫂 I love y’all & give yourself some grace today!!
- Have lost their mother
- Are unable to carry children
- Are a single mother
- Have lost a child
- Foster/adopt
- Have miscarried
- Those with strained mother relationships
I see y’all too & your feelings are valid 💕🫂 I love y’all & give yourself some grace today!!
May 11, 2025 at 8:16 PM
And now Mother’s Day finally comes to an end. It serves as a reminder that I survived a woman who thrived on control, fear, and dependence. She didn’t raise me; I fought my way out from under her.
She taught me resilience by being the reason I needed it.
Thank you for the trauma, Mom.
She taught me resilience by being the reason I needed it.
Thank you for the trauma, Mom.
When I was living in Iran, I often carried a quiet, gnawing guilt about how instinctively I judged people based on appearance. Veil style, beards, tucked-in shirts—these weren’t aesthetic. They were political codes. To survive, I had to decode them. Judging was self-defense.
May 9, 2025 at 3:14 PM
When I was living in Iran, I often carried a quiet, gnawing guilt about how instinctively I judged people based on appearance. Veil style, beards, tucked-in shirts—these weren’t aesthetic. They were political codes. To survive, I had to decode them. Judging was self-defense.
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfi
Imagine having only one god.
It'd like eating nothing but potatoes.
It'd like eating nothing but potatoes.
May 8, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Imagine having only one god.
It'd like eating nothing but potatoes.
It'd like eating nothing but potatoes.
In Turkey, speaking up for disability rights often meets not support, but mockery, dismissal, and fury. A university rector told a disabled student: “Find donations if you want a toilet.” This isn’t just disgraceful — it’s systemic neglect in plain sight.
t24.com.tr/haber/kou-re...
t24.com.tr/haber/kou-re...
KOÜ rektörü Cantürk'ten engelli tuvaleti isteyen öğrenciye: "Bağış bulursan yaparız"
KOÜ rektörü Cantürk'ten engelli tuvaleti isteyen öğrenciye: "Bağış bulursan yaparız"
t24.com.tr
May 8, 2025 at 3:51 PM
In Turkey, speaking up for disability rights often meets not support, but mockery, dismissal, and fury. A university rector told a disabled student: “Find donations if you want a toilet.” This isn’t just disgraceful — it’s systemic neglect in plain sight.
t24.com.tr/haber/kou-re...
t24.com.tr/haber/kou-re...
Can’t tell if it’s my own oddities or something baked into Turkish academia, but I keep veering between manic over-intellectualizing and dry, repetitive didacticism in my writing. No middle ground.
May 6, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Can’t tell if it’s my own oddities or something baked into Turkish academia, but I keep veering between manic over-intellectualizing and dry, repetitive didacticism in my writing. No middle ground.
Back in my master’s years, friends told me I was blowing my differences out of proportion. Years later, we’re scattered worldwide, and most of them got diagnosed with Autism spectrum conditions by different pros.
reminds me of this OG Tumblr post
May 6, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Back in my master’s years, friends told me I was blowing my differences out of proportion. Years later, we’re scattered worldwide, and most of them got diagnosed with Autism spectrum conditions by different pros.