f*male b*tch 🇵🇸
@ahhmandah.bsky.social
just a brain floating in a jar of formaldehyde. you can't come to my birthday ok you can
📍 tāmaki makaurau aotearoa nz on te kawerau-a-maki land
if you didn't vote stop reading this right now. you're grounded
📍 tāmaki makaurau aotearoa nz on te kawerau-a-maki land
if you didn't vote stop reading this right now. you're grounded
also sprained my ankle stepping on this random piece of rusty iron sticking out of the grass by the path down to the creek in a park that used to be flood-zoned houses that were demolished when I was a kid. just a grassy rectangle full of backyard fruit trees now
November 20, 2025 at 5:43 AM
also sprained my ankle stepping on this random piece of rusty iron sticking out of the grass by the path down to the creek in a park that used to be flood-zoned houses that were demolished when I was a kid. just a grassy rectangle full of backyard fruit trees now
in case anyone was wondering why us millennials and gen x had our self esteem in tatters and flushed down the shitter by the time we were 20
November 16, 2025 at 4:42 AM
in case anyone was wondering why us millennials and gen x had our self esteem in tatters and flushed down the shitter by the time we were 20
I bought a new mattress protector but panicked & just threw one in my trolley because BRISCOES ON A SATURDAY. turns out I got a waterproof one. great for when I next piss the bed at 44 years old. fucks sake amanda it says it right there. I just saw MATTRESS PROTECTOR - QN - 60% off and grabbed it
November 16, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I bought a new mattress protector but panicked & just threw one in my trolley because BRISCOES ON A SATURDAY. turns out I got a waterproof one. great for when I next piss the bed at 44 years old. fucks sake amanda it says it right there. I just saw MATTRESS PROTECTOR - QN - 60% off and grabbed it
mum loves painting rocks for kids to hunt at lake panorama. sometimes they have competitions in the westie rocks fb page e.g. "paint a rock for every letter of the alphabet. mum loves a challenge! for "O" she did offal. but wh- what's this. mum why did you paint a ballbag on a crimped injured penis
November 15, 2025 at 11:48 PM
mum loves painting rocks for kids to hunt at lake panorama. sometimes they have competitions in the westie rocks fb page e.g. "paint a rock for every letter of the alphabet. mum loves a challenge! for "O" she did offal. but wh- what's this. mum why did you paint a ballbag on a crimped injured penis
self care is being child-free instead of whatever hell this is
November 15, 2025 at 10:21 PM
self care is being child-free instead of whatever hell this is
my annual reminder that kumara left in the cupboard can be dirty hoebags
November 5, 2025 at 10:22 PM
my annual reminder that kumara left in the cupboard can be dirty hoebags
Sir - they're not looking you up and down because you're a black superman. they're looking because they can see your dingle dangle looking up at you
November 5, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Sir - they're not looking you up and down because you're a black superman. they're looking because they can see your dingle dangle looking up at you
one of my top 10 Halloween outfits. I was gutted when he removed the mask later and it turned out he was actually just some dude in a horny horse costume. for a moment there I held hope in my heart. we could have been something. we could have changed the world
November 1, 2025 at 7:02 AM
one of my top 10 Halloween outfits. I was gutted when he removed the mask later and it turned out he was actually just some dude in a horny horse costume. for a moment there I held hope in my heart. we could have been something. we could have changed the world
could be better, could be worse, but at least I scared the shit out of 400+ little kids in my mum's street tonight for Halloween 🎃
October 31, 2025 at 6:58 AM
could be better, could be worse, but at least I scared the shit out of 400+ little kids in my mum's street tonight for Halloween 🎃
got my dog's bum glands done at the vet as she was scooting a lot. last time, one was so packed & she was so panicked that it squirted on the door and ceiling. today we only needed 3 of us to wrestle her and hold her down and none of us ever need to go to the gym again. also she's not speaking to me
October 29, 2025 at 7:48 PM
got my dog's bum glands done at the vet as she was scooting a lot. last time, one was so packed & she was so panicked that it squirted on the door and ceiling. today we only needed 3 of us to wrestle her and hold her down and none of us ever need to go to the gym again. also she's not speaking to me
I saw a spoonbill in the estuary
October 29, 2025 at 6:48 AM
I saw a spoonbill in the estuary
I saw a spoonbill in the estuary
October 29, 2025 at 6:20 AM
I saw a spoonbill in the estuary
I have this new colleague who's an old Russian babushka. seems nice and doesn't constantly ask how my weekend is and what I'm doing on the weekend. or loiter by my desk to say happy hump day or happy Friday, delighted by the humour of it all while I'm frantically trying to smash out deadlines
October 28, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I have this new colleague who's an old Russian babushka. seems nice and doesn't constantly ask how my weekend is and what I'm doing on the weekend. or loiter by my desk to say happy hump day or happy Friday, delighted by the humour of it all while I'm frantically trying to smash out deadlines
my temporary caravan work station in this gusty wind and thunder has my colleague doing significant concerns
October 28, 2025 at 2:54 AM
my temporary caravan work station in this gusty wind and thunder has my colleague doing significant concerns
waking up to yet another day. they just keep on coming
October 26, 2025 at 8:15 PM
waking up to yet another day. they just keep on coming
maybe you should look into the field of being a fucking idiot instead
October 23, 2025 at 2:30 AM
maybe you should look into the field of being a fucking idiot instead
one of my many, many cannula ports is really not impressed
October 22, 2025 at 2:33 AM
one of my many, many cannula ports is really not impressed
also the back of the hand one they replaced the infected one with was nowhere near as sore, AND they gave me a little mesh glove so I didn't catch it on things. you can tell who's new and terrified and who's an old cool bitch who's done it a million times
October 17, 2025 at 10:24 AM
also the back of the hand one they replaced the infected one with was nowhere near as sore, AND they gave me a little mesh glove so I didn't catch it on things. you can tell who's new and terrified and who's an old cool bitch who's done it a million times
*the 1ST in the bicep. big bruise one on the left I screamed JESUS FUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING but everyone was too busy looking at all the dicks & balls that men had out. they all wanted to see my right one after it got infected and outlined though. they said it looked like the lorax & pingu fucked
October 17, 2025 at 10:19 AM
*the 1ST in the bicep. big bruise one on the left I screamed JESUS FUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING but everyone was too busy looking at all the dicks & balls that men had out. they all wanted to see my right one after it got infected and outlined though. they said it looked like the lorax & pingu fucked
probably my favourite non-vein the nurse tried to put a cannula with a LONG fucking needle in my arm. it was her second go - the one she just stabbed me in the biceps. I told her which vein to use in my right elbow. she tried the left back of my hand instead. hope you like med core gore
October 17, 2025 at 10:04 AM
probably my favourite non-vein the nurse tried to put a cannula with a LONG fucking needle in my arm. it was her second go - the one she just stabbed me in the biceps. I told her which vein to use in my right elbow. she tried the left back of my hand instead. hope you like med core gore
I like how auckland transport just sticky tapes their brake lights back in when they fall out
October 15, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I like how auckland transport just sticky tapes their brake lights back in when they fall out
ok so went to the doc and my nose is definitely broken again. still highly recommend getting a huge idiot mongrel who loses her mind zooming at the beach. they also do the old chill the fuck out time for days so it's not all bad
October 14, 2025 at 6:12 AM
ok so went to the doc and my nose is definitely broken again. still highly recommend getting a huge idiot mongrel who loses her mind zooming at the beach. they also do the old chill the fuck out time for days so it's not all bad