Sex Couch (allegedly)
@yeahthatsexcouch.bsky.social
Former couch/lover of the author of some bullshit book. Allegedly. Made in Canada. I post because becoming sentient and then realizing what's happening in the world around me has driven me to the brink of madness. And I won't go quietly.
Pinned
2 Texas dipshits planned to enlist DC area homeless to invade a Haitian island, kill the adult men of a population of 87,000 people, and force the women and children to be their sex slaves. Stupid beyond belief? Yes. Evil? Yes. Surprising? Somehow...no.
November 22, 2025 at 11:46 PM
2 Texas dipshits planned to enlist DC area homeless to invade a Haitian island, kill the adult men of a population of 87,000 people, and force the women and children to be their sex slaves. Stupid beyond belief? Yes. Evil? Yes. Surprising? Somehow...no.
I know toddlers who can form more coherent sentences. Like, fully remembering the taste of breast milk, no object permanence, cannot wipe their own asses, but can string words together better than this...thing.
Trump Quote Without His Voice or Face - Trump Without Trump - Bombs Go Boom!
YouTube video by Juliet Jeske - Decoding Fox News
youtu.be
November 21, 2025 at 3:59 AM
I know toddlers who can form more coherent sentences. Like, fully remembering the taste of breast milk, no object permanence, cannot wipe their own asses, but can string words together better than this...thing.
This is not an attempt to diminish the author's perspective on this but I'd also check the troopers betting history
A trooper’s shove showed stardom doesn’t protect Black athletes from police | Etan Thomas
When I was a college basketball player, some believed we were treated differently from other Black and Brown people. An event this past weekend suggests otherwise
share.google
November 19, 2025 at 4:48 PM
This is not an attempt to diminish the author's perspective on this but I'd also check the troopers betting history
Motherfucker you are 30% bacon grease by weight and you said what?!
November 19, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Motherfucker you are 30% bacon grease by weight and you said what?!
You have to give this a chance, I'm begging you. You will not be disappointed. A juggalo dropping stream-of-consciousness facts interspersed with parodies of popular media and straight up fever dream skits. Also, he has at least one cat, so he's cool.
Algorithmic Psychosis: Am I Losing My Mind?
YouTube video by Uncle Juff
youtu.be
November 18, 2025 at 4:28 PM
You have to give this a chance, I'm begging you. You will not be disappointed. A juggalo dropping stream-of-consciousness facts interspersed with parodies of popular media and straight up fever dream skits. Also, he has at least one cat, so he's cool.
Epstein Files, please.
Adelita Grijalva sworn in as the House's newest member, paving the way for an Epstein files vote
After weeks of delay, Democrat Adelita Grijalva of Arizona is a member of the U.S. House. Grijalva was sworn into office Wednesday, more than seven weeks after she won a special election in Arizona to...
apnews.com
November 12, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Epstein Files, please.
"We're gonna take this momentum and yeah, immediately stop it by bending over for the GOP and just taking it, no lube. Goddamn we are stupid, huh? And our butts hurt."
November 10, 2025 at 3:42 PM
"We're gonna take this momentum and yeah, immediately stop it by bending over for the GOP and just taking it, no lube. Goddamn we are stupid, huh? And our butts hurt."
Reposted by Sex Couch (allegedly)
Hi Bluesky 👋
Small life update: I’m at the centre of a multimillion dollar lawsuit in Alberta launched by a failed candidate for Jason Kenney’s UCP
It may be the longest and most expensive media trial in Canadian history
I’m ready to go public about it and I want to share more details with you 🧵
Small life update: I’m at the centre of a multimillion dollar lawsuit in Alberta launched by a failed candidate for Jason Kenney’s UCP
It may be the longest and most expensive media trial in Canadian history
I’m ready to go public about it and I want to share more details with you 🧵
November 7, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Hi Bluesky 👋
Small life update: I’m at the centre of a multimillion dollar lawsuit in Alberta launched by a failed candidate for Jason Kenney’s UCP
It may be the longest and most expensive media trial in Canadian history
I’m ready to go public about it and I want to share more details with you 🧵
Small life update: I’m at the centre of a multimillion dollar lawsuit in Alberta launched by a failed candidate for Jason Kenney’s UCP
It may be the longest and most expensive media trial in Canadian history
I’m ready to go public about it and I want to share more details with you 🧵
Must have been a fun night. Almost noon and just headed back to the barn.
November 7, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Must have been a fun night. Almost noon and just headed back to the barn.
Approximately 45 minutes after the President's last changing, Gordon Findlay, overwhelmed by diaper stank, collapses in the Oval Office.
November 6, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Approximately 45 minutes after the President's last changing, Gordon Findlay, overwhelmed by diaper stank, collapses in the Oval Office.
Sandwich Guy not guilty of a sub. Assault, I mean.
November 6, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Sandwich Guy not guilty of a sub. Assault, I mean.
Reposted by Sex Couch (allegedly)
With the increasing issue of more and more children running away, the Missing Children Society of Canada declared November as Runaway Prevention Month.
32 thousand Canadian children were reported missing last year. 23 thousand were runaways.
32 thousand Canadian children were reported missing last year. 23 thousand were runaways.
November declared as Runaway Prevention Month as serious numbers keep increasing | APTN News
YouTube video by APTN News
youtu.be
November 6, 2025 at 12:57 AM
With the increasing issue of more and more children running away, the Missing Children Society of Canada declared November as Runaway Prevention Month.
32 thousand Canadian children were reported missing last year. 23 thousand were runaways.
32 thousand Canadian children were reported missing last year. 23 thousand were runaways.
Yo, check out my secret garden. It's tiny fungus.
November 3, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Yo, check out my secret garden. It's tiny fungus.
SLURMCORE TIL I DIE. PROBABLY IN A FIRE.
November 2, 2025 at 4:14 PM
SLURMCORE TIL I DIE. PROBABLY IN A FIRE.
Some more important honks of wisdom in this one
why you're too tired to care anymore (goose explains)
YouTube video by Honkology
youtu.be
October 30, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Some more important honks of wisdom in this one
These lil beauties are all over the place today
October 21, 2025 at 9:41 PM
These lil beauties are all over the place today
Important honks of wisdom in this short video
why facts dont change minds (goose explains)
YouTube video by Honkology
youtu.be
October 21, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Important honks of wisdom in this short video
Hop-hop star Diddy and his "train daughters" wtf
October 5, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Hop-hop star Diddy and his "train daughters" wtf
CEO of social media company 0% Normal Speedrun world record tho
ceo of social media company be normal challenge (impossible)
October 5, 2025 at 11:39 PM
CEO of social media company 0% Normal Speedrun world record tho
Great song, great message, great theremin playing
Fishbone - Racist Piece Of Shit (Live on KEXP)
YouTube video by KEXP
youtu.be
October 4, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Great song, great message, great theremin playing
BREAKING NEWS :
ASSOCIATED PRESS UNDERGOES SUCCESSFUL SPINE STIFFENING, PREPARES TO DEFEND AGAINST FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT
ASSOCIATED PRESS UNDERGOES SUCCESSFUL SPINE STIFFENING, PREPARES TO DEFEND AGAINST FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT
FACT FOCUS: Democrats did not shut down the government to give health care to 'illegal immigrants'
This is false. Democrats say they are pushing for the inclusion of key health care provisions in the next congressional spending package.
apnews.com
October 4, 2025 at 12:24 AM
BREAKING NEWS :
ASSOCIATED PRESS UNDERGOES SUCCESSFUL SPINE STIFFENING, PREPARES TO DEFEND AGAINST FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT
ASSOCIATED PRESS UNDERGOES SUCCESSFUL SPINE STIFFENING, PREPARES TO DEFEND AGAINST FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT
This is manipulated media. It has been slowed approximately 66%. The video runs 57 seconds. JD is only good for 15-20 seconds. Go on and ask me how I know, I dare you.
October 3, 2025 at 6:32 PM
This is manipulated media. It has been slowed approximately 66%. The video runs 57 seconds. JD is only good for 15-20 seconds. Go on and ask me how I know, I dare you.
The number of absolutely shriveled scrotums just skyrocketed in Portland Oregon. Local vaginas are becoming dry in response, the most intense pussydrought in recent memory!
September 28, 2025 at 2:53 PM
The number of absolutely shriveled scrotums just skyrocketed in Portland Oregon. Local vaginas are becoming dry in response, the most intense pussydrought in recent memory!
Elon going to the Pedophisland doesn't surprise me at all
#ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles
#ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles
September 26, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Elon going to the Pedophisland doesn't surprise me at all
#ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles
#ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles
Twingers (that's Twin Gingers) Noodle and Soup
September 24, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Twingers (that's Twin Gingers) Noodle and Soup