Tucker Cawley
@tuckercawley.bsky.social
TV writer?
TV writer!
He/Him
TV writer!
He/Him
Pinned
Tucker Cawley
@tuckercawley.bsky.social
· Dec 10
Before you write a script, ALWAYS OUTLINE. Before you outline, ALWAYS DO A LONGLINE. Before a logline, ALWAYS WATCH SOME OFFICE BLOOPERS. Before bloopers, ALWAYS GO ON FACEBOOK TO SEE IF THAT DICK WHO MADE YOU CRY ON THE BUS IN 7TH GRADE IS STILL OUT OF WORK.
Writing is a process. Respect it.
Writing is a process. Respect it.
Reposted by Tucker Cawley
Study Finds Most Americans Can't Find Where They Are Being Deported On Map
November 11, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Study Finds Most Americans Can't Find Where They Are Being Deported On Map
Your last name is the closest Dems are getting to the White House if you don’t push Schumer out and get serious about fighting Trump.
The sooner we get past internal recriminations and back to fighting united, the better off we all are — the likelier our victory next November.
November 11, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Your last name is the closest Dems are getting to the White House if you don’t push Schumer out and get serious about fighting Trump.
Reposted by Tucker Cawley
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
November 10, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
People are gonna start dying in unimaginably awful ways within 2-3 weeks.
Have a great week everybody!
Have a great week everybody!
TRUMP: US TO LAUNCH NEW AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEM WITHIN 2–3 WEEKS
November 10, 2025 at 10:24 PM
People are gonna start dying in unimaginably awful ways within 2-3 weeks.
Have a great week everybody!
Have a great week everybody!
This overstuffed sack of dog shit is having a bad day, which somewhat brightens mine.
NEW: Supreme Court rejects long-shot effort to overturn ruling that legalized gay marriage:
www.nbcnews.com/politics/sup...
www.nbcnews.com/politics/sup...
Supreme Court rejects long-shot effort to overturn same-sex marriage ruling
The court turned away an appeal filed by Kim Davis, a former county clerk in Kentucky who was sued after refusing to issue a marriage license to a gay couple.
www.nbcnews.com
November 10, 2025 at 4:11 PM
This overstuffed sack of dog shit is having a bad day, which somewhat brightens mine.
The fact that Schumer’s head didn’t catch on fire this evening means I definitely don’t have latent pyrokinetic abilities.
November 10, 2025 at 5:46 AM
The fact that Schumer’s head didn’t catch on fire this evening means I definitely don’t have latent pyrokinetic abilities.
GOP Strategist: how do we crush Democratic momentum after last week’s elections?
GOP Strategist 2: It’s impossible.
GOP Strategist 3: We are well and truly fucked.
AN ASSISTANT STICKS HER HEAD IN.
Assistant: Hey, sorry, it might be a prank call, but I’ve got Chuck Schumer on the line?
GOP Strategist 2: It’s impossible.
GOP Strategist 3: We are well and truly fucked.
AN ASSISTANT STICKS HER HEAD IN.
Assistant: Hey, sorry, it might be a prank call, but I’ve got Chuck Schumer on the line?
November 10, 2025 at 1:03 AM
GOP Strategist: how do we crush Democratic momentum after last week’s elections?
GOP Strategist 2: It’s impossible.
GOP Strategist 3: We are well and truly fucked.
AN ASSISTANT STICKS HER HEAD IN.
Assistant: Hey, sorry, it might be a prank call, but I’ve got Chuck Schumer on the line?
GOP Strategist 2: It’s impossible.
GOP Strategist 3: We are well and truly fucked.
AN ASSISTANT STICKS HER HEAD IN.
Assistant: Hey, sorry, it might be a prank call, but I’ve got Chuck Schumer on the line?
Dr. Schumer: we should stop your treatment immediately because cancer promises to find a compromise we can all live with sometime next year.
November 10, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Dr. Schumer: we should stop your treatment immediately because cancer promises to find a compromise we can all live with sometime next year.
With his glasses on no one - not his friends, lovers, coworkers at the bike shop - knew mild-mannered Ted was by night the brilliant but troubled vigilante Fall Foliage.
November 10, 2025 at 12:00 AM
With his glasses on no one - not his friends, lovers, coworkers at the bike shop - knew mild-mannered Ted was by night the brilliant but troubled vigilante Fall Foliage.
If @schumer.senate.gov and the centrist appeasers in the Senate cave to Trump…
There are 214 angry Dem Representatives in Congress and only 47 Dem Senators. That’s like 4.5 to 1. The representatives need to break into small hunting teams, find each senator and pants him/her in their office/home.
There are 214 angry Dem Representatives in Congress and only 47 Dem Senators. That’s like 4.5 to 1. The representatives need to break into small hunting teams, find each senator and pants him/her in their office/home.
November 9, 2025 at 10:43 PM
If @schumer.senate.gov and the centrist appeasers in the Senate cave to Trump…
There are 214 angry Dem Representatives in Congress and only 47 Dem Senators. That’s like 4.5 to 1. The representatives need to break into small hunting teams, find each senator and pants him/her in their office/home.
There are 214 angry Dem Representatives in Congress and only 47 Dem Senators. That’s like 4.5 to 1. The representatives need to break into small hunting teams, find each senator and pants him/her in their office/home.
Reposted by Tucker Cawley
I don't know what the Senate is going to do. But if they do in fact fold in exchange for nothing, they will be living up to past performance. To expect the Senate to carry out the will of the American people is to misunderstand why it was created in the first place.
November 9, 2025 at 9:55 PM
I don't know what the Senate is going to do. But if they do in fact fold in exchange for nothing, they will be living up to past performance. To expect the Senate to carry out the will of the American people is to misunderstand why it was created in the first place.
Reposted by Tucker Cawley
Left a message with Schiff and Padilla. Padilla's DC office not taking messages, so called LA and sent a note.
www.schiff.senate.gov/contact/
www.padilla.senate.gov/contact/
www.schiff.senate.gov/contact/
www.padilla.senate.gov/contact/
November 9, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Left a message with Schiff and Padilla. Padilla's DC office not taking messages, so called LA and sent a note.
www.schiff.senate.gov/contact/
www.padilla.senate.gov/contact/
www.schiff.senate.gov/contact/
www.padilla.senate.gov/contact/
Some rascal rabbit gave our president a cartoon cigar!
November 8, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Some rascal rabbit gave our president a cartoon cigar!
We need poor kids to starve! It’s an EMERGENCY!!
BREAKING: Supreme Court issues emergency order temporarily blocking full SNAP food aid payments.
I have the latest. Sorry for another Friday email, this is major. open.substack.com/pub/aaronpar...
I have the latest. Sorry for another Friday email, this is major. open.substack.com/pub/aaronpar...
BREAKING: Supreme Court Blocks Order Requiring Trump to Pay SNAP Benefits
Apologies for another email on a Friday night, but, the Supreme Court tonight temporarily froze a federal district judge’s order requiring the Trump administration to deliver full SNAP benefits to rou...
open.substack.com
November 8, 2025 at 3:53 AM
We need poor kids to starve! It’s an EMERGENCY!!
I’m an idiot and even I see this is terrible politics. In a week w historic election wins for Democrats, this @schumer.senate.gov compromise looks so fucking weak. Act like we’re winning, Chuck, BECAUSE WE ARE. He needs to be put on an ice floe and pushed out to sea.
SCHUMER is on the floor now making this offer to end the shutdown:
Clean CR
Bipartisan "minibus" of approps bills
1-year ACA funding extension
Bipartisan cmte to negotiate on health care
"This is a reasonable offer that reopens the government, deals with health care affordability."
Clean CR
Bipartisan "minibus" of approps bills
1-year ACA funding extension
Bipartisan cmte to negotiate on health care
"This is a reasonable offer that reopens the government, deals with health care affordability."
November 7, 2025 at 8:35 PM
I’m an idiot and even I see this is terrible politics. In a week w historic election wins for Democrats, this @schumer.senate.gov compromise looks so fucking weak. Act like we’re winning, Chuck, BECAUSE WE ARE. He needs to be put on an ice floe and pushed out to sea.
“Why are all these people in my bathroom?”
incredible photo that's definitely worth at least 1,000 words from Andrew Harnik of Getty
November 7, 2025 at 2:55 AM
“Why are all these people in my bathroom?”
Reposted by Tucker Cawley
Zohran at the rally for trans youth on february 8 ❣️ he was polling single digits.
June 25, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Zohran at the rally for trans youth on february 8 ❣️ he was polling single digits.
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit having hope!
November 5, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit having hope!
People is 2025 Sexiest Mag Alive
If you’re wondering: has People magazine’s coverage of Trump’s second presidency been pissing him off, per our sources: yes, the literal president has noticed and he’s not pleased, particularly the framing and repeated coverage of his health.
For my item for today’s edition of @zeteo.com newsletter First Draft (subscribe!!) helmed by @mehdirhasan.bsky.social and @petertwinklage.bsky.social:
Trumps new enemy of the people is… ‘PEOPLE’??!?!??!?!?!?!
zeteo.com/p/ben-shapir...
Trumps new enemy of the people is… ‘PEOPLE’??!?!??!?!?!?!
zeteo.com/p/ben-shapir...
November 4, 2025 at 10:17 PM
People is 2025 Sexiest Mag Alive
Gosh, I really hope these guys don't try to kill each other!
Ben Shapiro was just ratioed by Nick Fuentes on X after Shapiro called out Tucker Carlson and Fuentes for their antisemitism.
The neo nazi right is fully taking over the republican party.
The neo nazi right is fully taking over the republican party.
November 4, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Gosh, I really hope these guys don't try to kill each other!
People Magazine Voted World’s Sexiest Mag
someone invited people magazine to the kitchen and they brought their own knives
November 3, 2025 at 4:16 AM
People Magazine Voted World’s Sexiest Mag
"It's not just When Doves Cry that doesn't have a bass line. He did it again on Kiss! Which seems crazy, but both songs went to number one so I guess Prince knew what he was --"
My daughter blows a dart into my neck and, as I fall to the floor, paralyzed, she makes her escape.
My daughter blows a dart into my neck and, as I fall to the floor, paralyzed, she makes her escape.
November 2, 2025 at 5:31 PM
"It's not just When Doves Cry that doesn't have a bass line. He did it again on Kiss! Which seems crazy, but both songs went to number one so I guess Prince knew what he was --"
My daughter blows a dart into my neck and, as I fall to the floor, paralyzed, she makes her escape.
My daughter blows a dart into my neck and, as I fall to the floor, paralyzed, she makes her escape.
Go Dodgers! but it’s fun to look at this photo as if Yamamoto’s smile is a scream and he is being eaten by his teammates
November 2, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Go Dodgers! but it’s fun to look at this photo as if Yamamoto’s smile is a scream and he is being eaten by his teammates
Trump’s Dodgers post is gonna be yet another high water mark in presidential communiques.
November 2, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Trump’s Dodgers post is gonna be yet another high water mark in presidential communiques.
Feel bad for anyone in LA who’s behind watching the game because the fireworks are a city-wide spoiler
November 2, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Feel bad for anyone in LA who’s behind watching the game because the fireworks are a city-wide spoiler