Ashley
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touchthecow.myatproto.social
Ashley
@touchthecow.myatproto.social
any pronouns
💖@rubydelamuerte.myatproto.social💖
Pinned
My Hyperbolic Time Chamber.
Me: "Did [streamer] say he could 'one-shot them with his bulk'?"

GF: "His *bolt.*"

Me: "Ah, that makes more sense. Not usually one-shotting with bulk."

Me:

Me, huskily: "I could one-shot you with *my* bulk."

GF, anxiously remembering her last bout of sciatica: "Yeah, you could..."
November 18, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Reposted by Ashley
Rebecca was one of the founders of Interplay, worked as a programmer on companies like EA, Microsoft and Ubisoft, helped building the PSP and PS4 operating systems and won the 1980 National Space Invaders Championship!

RIP to one of the greatest :(
My trailblazing game industry bad-ass friend Rebecca Heineman has passed away.

Fuck cancer.

Friends, let’s not forget her: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebecca...
Rebecca Heineman - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
November 17, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Each day I'm just trying to find something that'll get me through to tomorrow. Today, it's Homestar Runner saying he has a "champ stamp" in a new video.
November 17, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Eagles games this season feel more like the other team is just kind of playing observer to a showdown between the Eagles' offense and defense.
November 17, 2025 at 2:29 AM
This is the Philadelphia Flyers' development team, located just outside Philadelphia, so I get to claim this. (Also because I loved the Phantoms growing up, it's just a cool name and a cool logo.)
YOU GUYS WANNA SEE SOMETHING CURSED???? HOW ABOUT NEON GENESIS LEHIGH VALLEY PHANTOMS HOCKEY?????
November 17, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Reposted by Ashley
got a fun likely scorigami in bills-bucs. not only would 44-32 be scorigami, but just about any other score from this point would be
November 16, 2025 at 9:05 PM
My favorite kind of pro wrestlers are the guys who go everywhere and experience some of everything. Multiple titles held with like six major promotions in four different countries type-guys. Guys who have experienced more pro wrestling than anyone.

Josh Allen experiences more football than any QB.
November 16, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Explaining to my girlfriend that while it may seem like a non-clock management football timeout benefits both teams equally, since both teams get to rest, in fact timeouts can be used kind of like YRCs in Xrd.
November 16, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Reposted by Ashley
March 6, 2025 at 2:46 PM
My favorite bit as a lifelong Philadelphia sports fan is that when fans of opposing teams confidently say they'll beat the Eagles in the midst of a very good season because the Eagles are secretly trash, I earnestly and knowingly respond "Yeah, they are." And then most of the time the Eagles win.
November 16, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Reposted by Ashley
Banks are targeting individuals by name because of their "high risk" line of work who are too outspoken. This is why we need you to stand up for nsfw creators
Friend tried to donate to my Throne, flagged by fraud detection at Bank of America — bank identified the transaction as specially for “giantess voretuber Ana Valens”

I suspect I faced those Patreon / Ko-fi dings b/c financial institutions have me, specifically, on record as a high risk recipient!
November 16, 2025 at 5:36 AM
November 16, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Me, a genderfluid shapeshifter, when I've figured out how I want to cum during sex:
November 16, 2025 at 2:57 AM
NBA TV's broadcast, brought to you by FanDuel, now does the basic math for you to tell you which team is leading and by how much, labeled "The Diff".
November 16, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Reposted by Ashley
Please continue making calls to Visa and Mastercard, because they are working alongside conservative legislators to crack down on free speech and expression!

A dual pronged offense requires a dual pronged defense!
#SaveSpeech

starting Nov 1st we're entering the holiday season, which is a big stress point for big businesses like Mastercard and Visa. These Paypros havent stopped cracking down on Adult Content, so we need to jump back into calling them in full force again!

stop-paypros.neocities.org
November 14, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Reposted by Ashley
People say “you are overblowing the whole purity culture thing”

And then the head of a porn site becomes anti-porn and refers to sex as sacred.
manyvids is going to be further restricting access to porn, making it harder to find XXX creators on their platform.
November 14, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Me, reading the PC Gamer article, rolling my eyes: "Oh, is that it? A feminist website had the 🤏🏻 as their logo? Of course it's an anti-feminism thing, why wouldn't it be? Christ, lemme see."

Me, reading about the site, face grim: "Y'know, I'm just kinda glad I don't live in South Korea, I guess."
November 15, 2025 at 8:33 AM
Small penis havers deserve to never experience oral, anal, or vaginal, and the only manual stimulation they get should deny them release. Everyone should mock and belittle them, and force them to bottom, maybe even lock them in chastity. Yes, I have a micropenis, why do you ask?
November 15, 2025 at 7:37 AM
I wish *I* was invulnerable for 2-3 seconds after getting hit.
November 15, 2025 at 2:53 AM
I wish *I* had a rind.
November 15, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Pope Leo XIV, over lunch: "Check it out guys, I'm the grungler."
Pope Leo XIV Will Have Lunch With 4 Trans Women in "Unprecedented" Meeting
https://www.them.us/story/pope-leo-xiv-lunch-trans-activists-alesia-nobile
November 15, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Reposted by Ashley
November 14, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Reposted by Ashley
5/🧵 Race divides the Democratic Party more than it does Republicans. Young Republicans remain almost as racially resentful as older Republicans. But among Democrats and independents, massive shifts. White Gen Z independents have lower racial resentment than Boomer Democrats.
November 14, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Reposted by Ashley
7/🧵 The loudest voices aren't the most representative. Every generation has extremists, but social media amplifies fringe movements beyond their size. A handful of young white nationalists create viral moments that crowd out broader trends. We mistake the exception for the rule.
November 14, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Reposted by Ashley
8/🧵 And there's motivated reasoning everywhere. Conservatives want to believe they're winning the youth. Centrist Dems think the party needs to move right. Some progressives fear we're doomed. Consultants want to enter new expensive ad markets. Everyone finds anecdotes confirming their assumptions.
November 14, 2025 at 8:44 PM