Tim Barnes
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timbarnes.bsky.social
Tim Barnes
@timbarnes.bsky.social
writer/producer: Comedy Central, The Tonight Show, Nickelodeon. LATEST PROJECT → @judgetravis.bsky.social
Pinned
the Dunkin’ logo has never felt more accurate
Universal should uh, consider allowing Hagrid-shaped people on the Hagrid ride
January 1, 2026 at 3:58 PM
“i, Zohran Kwame Mamdani, solemnly swear to track down Batman’s tax records.”
January 1, 2026 at 10:59 AM
2026 will be the year i try comedy
January 1, 2026 at 1:19 AM
let’s see… let’s see… what to watch?..
December 31, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Reposted by Tim Barnes
Isiah Whitlock Jr, best known for his role as Clay Davis on “The Wire,” has died. He was 71
Isiah Whitlock Jr. Dies: ‘The Wire’ Actor & Frequent Spike Lee Collaborator Was 71
Actor Isiah Whitlock Jr., known for his roles in The Wire, Veep, Your Honor and The Residence and a number of Spike Lee movies, passed away Dec. 30.
deadline.com
December 30, 2025 at 11:12 PM
finally met the uh… Tonight Show panda
December 30, 2025 at 5:49 PM
new goal: being a parking lot Animaniac
December 29, 2025 at 4:31 PM
just imagining the running around the FRIENDS fountain
December 29, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Reposted by Tim Barnes
UPDATE: Just figured out you can do this on EVERY PROFILE in your household.

I want to be very clear, we are not “gaming the algorithm,” we are “getting the word out.” HUGE difference, and NO ONE can be MAD.
I am DIRECTLY ASKING YOU to open up Netflix and search ‘STRIP LAW’ or click the link below, to SET A REMINDER to watch STRIP LAW ON #NETFLIX on FEBRUARY 20th ‼️

YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT❕

Link: www.netflix.com/title/81677608

*** PLEASE REPOST ***
December 29, 2025 at 3:33 AM
did 2025 really walk up in our house offering a bag of old shoes?
December 29, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Reposted by Tim Barnes
Bernie Sanders: "We need to be thinking seriously about a moratorium on data centers. You gotta slow this process down. It's not good enough for the oligarchs to tell us 'you adapt.' Are they gonna guarantee healthcare to all people? What are they gonna do when there are no jobs? Make housing free?"
December 28, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Reposted by Tim Barnes
All it takes is a sharpie
Scrolling through my photos to find a pic of the cat to send to my mom, found this instead. I forgot I did this (I was like 1am)
December 28, 2025 at 12:36 AM
my type
December 27, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Reposted by Tim Barnes
The Netflix and Amazon broadcasts are a great reminder that live sports is a deeply, deeply difficult type of TV that requires huge crews of profoundly skilled and experienced people who have worked together for a long time to look natural
December 26, 2025 at 12:54 AM
the ticking clock on ‘60 Minutes’ ain’t never sounded this scary
December 26, 2025 at 2:52 AM
need a Fantasia Barrino / Geese collab asap
December 24, 2025 at 4:30 PM
need a Fantasia Barrino / Geese collab asap
December 24, 2025 at 4:27 PM
nothing but respect for my Madame Web
December 22, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Reposted by Tim Barnes
Expect a "revolt" among 60 Minutes staff over Bari Weiss pulling the CECOT segment at the last minute, one network insider told me.

Another CBS News reporter added that a Rubicon had been crossed with this decision, which 60 Minutes correspondent Sharyn Alfonsi called "political" and not editorial.
December 22, 2025 at 3:22 AM
this is quite the Star Wars opening crawl
December 21, 2025 at 1:21 PM
i’m sure none of the angels wanted to be the one tasked with telling Mary what was about to go down
December 20, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Reposted by Tim Barnes
You’ve lost the plot as a presidential administration when Dr. Oz is on stage handwringing about the cost of balls
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Patti Harrison and Natasha Lyonne are the best duo on TV right now
December 18, 2025 at 5:02 PM
excuse me “Pixar lamp.” i need to see your papers
December 18, 2025 at 1:22 AM
remaining silent while someone else gets blamed for the fart
December 17, 2025 at 5:23 PM