TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
@thespecpitchbot.bsky.social
#HamOnt's first choice for headlines that could be real. (Satire)
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
The Canadian Department of Pedantry issued a reminder for Canadians today:
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
September 9, 2025 at 10:07 PM
The Canadian Department of Pedantry issued a reminder for Canadians today:
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
The Canadian Department of Pedantry issued a reminder for Canadians today:
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
September 9, 2025 at 10:07 PM
The Canadian Department of Pedantry issued a reminder for Canadians today:
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
If it doesn't come from Minister Champagne's office it isn't austerity; it's just sparkling neoliberalism.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Council's decision to instruct staff to draft a maximum heat bylaw made Hamilton a national leader in 2023. Now, in 2025 Toronto is poised to be the first to cross the finish line. When asked why, #HamOnt city staff said "Toronto is just a better city run by better people."
May 12, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Council's decision to instruct staff to draft a maximum heat bylaw made Hamilton a national leader in 2023. Now, in 2025 Toronto is poised to be the first to cross the finish line. When asked why, #HamOnt city staff said "Toronto is just a better city run by better people."
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Haldimand waste hauler convicted of illegally dumping raw sewage—judge advises owner of D&C Pumping Service to get into municipal politics if they want to be able to pollute natural waterways without consequence.
May 12, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Haldimand waste hauler convicted of illegally dumping raw sewage—judge advises owner of D&C Pumping Service to get into municipal politics if they want to be able to pollute natural waterways without consequence.
Council's decision to instruct staff to draft a maximum heat bylaw made Hamilton a national leader in 2023. Now, in 2025 Toronto is poised to be the first to cross the finish line. When asked why, #HamOnt city staff said "Toronto is just a better city run by better people."
May 12, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Council's decision to instruct staff to draft a maximum heat bylaw made Hamilton a national leader in 2023. Now, in 2025 Toronto is poised to be the first to cross the finish line. When asked why, #HamOnt city staff said "Toronto is just a better city run by better people."
Haldimand waste hauler convicted of illegally dumping raw sewage—judge advises owner of D&C Pumping Service to get into municipal politics if they want to be able to pollute natural waterways without consequence.
May 12, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Haldimand waste hauler convicted of illegally dumping raw sewage—judge advises owner of D&C Pumping Service to get into municipal politics if they want to be able to pollute natural waterways without consequence.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Do you guys want me to do it? I love making quorum.
Now on TPR
Ward 8 residents will be going back to the ballot box for the third time this year - the majority of Council says they will vote (or are leaning yes) to call a by-election to fill the vacancy left by John-Paul Danko. #yhmcc #HamOnt
thepublicrecord.ca/2025/04/hami...
Ward 8 residents will be going back to the ballot box for the third time this year - the majority of Council says they will vote (or are leaning yes) to call a by-election to fill the vacancy left by John-Paul Danko. #yhmcc #HamOnt
thepublicrecord.ca/2025/04/hami...
Hamilton Ward 8 Vacancy: Majority of Council Support Calling a By-Election
A majority of Council members say they will vote for a by-election, or are leaning towards a by-election.
thepublicrecord.ca
April 29, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Do you guys want me to do it? I love making quorum.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
BREAKING | Trudeau, Poilievre, & Singh announce they are forming a band named The Political Spectrum Rejects.
April 29, 2025 at 3:40 PM
BREAKING | Trudeau, Poilievre, & Singh announce they are forming a band named The Political Spectrum Rejects.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
BREAKING | Even if they lose every remaining game, the Toronto Maple Leafs are safe from being the team that blew the biggest lead this week.
April 29, 2025 at 1:12 PM
BREAKING | Even if they lose every remaining game, the Toronto Maple Leafs are safe from being the team that blew the biggest lead this week.
BREAKING | Trudeau, Poilievre, & Singh announce they are forming a band named The Political Spectrum Rejects.
April 29, 2025 at 3:40 PM
BREAKING | Trudeau, Poilievre, & Singh announce they are forming a band named The Political Spectrum Rejects.
BREAKING | Even if they lose every remaining game, the Toronto Maple Leafs are safe from being the team that blew the biggest lead this week.
April 29, 2025 at 1:12 PM
BREAKING | Even if they lose every remaining game, the Toronto Maple Leafs are safe from being the team that blew the biggest lead this week.
Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre abandoned his "verb the noun" rhetoric on the campaign trail today. Instead, the lifelong politician told the crowd how much he appreciates the critiques of political pundit Steve Boots, adding that watching WTHC? is better than any cabinet meeting.
April 23, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre abandoned his "verb the noun" rhetoric on the campaign trail today. Instead, the lifelong politician told the crowd how much he appreciates the critiques of political pundit Steve Boots, adding that watching WTHC? is better than any cabinet meeting.
The archbishop of Toronto, Cardinal Frank Leo is headed to Rome for the conclave to elect the next Pope.
If elected, Vatican experts say it is only a matter of time until maple syrup is decreed an appropriate substitute for the Eucharist.
If elected, Vatican experts say it is only a matter of time until maple syrup is decreed an appropriate substitute for the Eucharist.
April 23, 2025 at 5:17 PM
The archbishop of Toronto, Cardinal Frank Leo is headed to Rome for the conclave to elect the next Pope.
If elected, Vatican experts say it is only a matter of time until maple syrup is decreed an appropriate substitute for the Eucharist.
If elected, Vatican experts say it is only a matter of time until maple syrup is decreed an appropriate substitute for the Eucharist.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
After the death of Pope Francis, conservatives across Canada are expressing anger at what they call an unfair & unjust system.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
April 21, 2025 at 10:13 PM
After the death of Pope Francis, conservatives across Canada are expressing anger at what they call an unfair & unjust system.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
After the death of Pope Francis, conservatives across Canada are expressing anger at what they call an unfair & unjust system.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
April 21, 2025 at 10:13 PM
After the death of Pope Francis, conservatives across Canada are expressing anger at what they call an unfair & unjust system.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
"It's bad enough we didn't get to vote for PM, but now they won't let us vote for the new Pope either!" said one Protestant who failed both high school civics & religion.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Thanks for this. I await the arrival of the Hamilton Spectator.
November 27, 2024 at 5:57 PM
Thanks for this. I await the arrival of the Hamilton Spectator.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
After having a line of questioning ruled 'out of order' during public delegations regarding the 2025 budget, Clr Danko has hired 3 outside experts to assist him for future public delegations.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
November 22, 2024 at 1:56 AM
After having a line of questioning ruled 'out of order' during public delegations regarding the 2025 budget, Clr Danko has hired 3 outside experts to assist him for future public delegations.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion.
#HamOnt
#HamOnt
November 22, 2024 at 1:35 AM
Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion.
#HamOnt
#HamOnt
After having a line of questioning ruled 'out of order' during public delegations regarding the 2025 budget, Clr Danko has hired 3 outside experts to assist him for future public delegations.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
November 22, 2024 at 1:56 AM
After having a line of questioning ruled 'out of order' during public delegations regarding the 2025 budget, Clr Danko has hired 3 outside experts to assist him for future public delegations.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
There is no record of a public procurement process for the position.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
And Council shall be given discretion to pelt said delegate with rotten vegetables if they deem it necessary.
Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion.
#HamOnt
#HamOnt
November 22, 2024 at 1:37 AM
And Council shall be given discretion to pelt said delegate with rotten vegetables if they deem it necessary.
Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion.
#HamOnt
#HamOnt
November 22, 2024 at 1:35 AM
Hamilton city council looked at the rules surrounding public delegations today. Due to existing charter protections of freedom of expression citizens will continue to be allowed to delegate, but those deemed "troublemakers" may be required to do so from a pillory, at the chair's discretion.
#HamOnt
#HamOnt
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
The average cost to rent a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton has fallen, ever so slightly, for the second month in a row. Prices have gone from 'wholly unaffordable', to 'virtually unaffordable', to now 'basically unaffordable'.
November 13, 2024 at 3:57 PM
The average cost to rent a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton has fallen, ever so slightly, for the second month in a row. Prices have gone from 'wholly unaffordable', to 'virtually unaffordable', to now 'basically unaffordable'.
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
After Hamilton Police fatally shot a 43 year old man over the weekend one Clr took to social media to remind grieving members of a marginalized community that "Police officers don't murder people, people with badges murder people."
November 13, 2024 at 2:06 PM
After Hamilton Police fatally shot a 43 year old man over the weekend one Clr took to social media to remind grieving members of a marginalized community that "Police officers don't murder people, people with badges murder people."
Reposted by TheSpecPitchbot (Satire)
Shortly after the popular Portuguese restaurant Wild Orchid announced on social media that it would be closing its doors for good on Dec 31st, Forge & Foster Investments released the following statement:
November 13, 2024 at 1:53 PM
Shortly after the popular Portuguese restaurant Wild Orchid announced on social media that it would be closing its doors for good on Dec 31st, Forge & Foster Investments released the following statement:
The average cost to rent a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton has fallen, ever so slightly, for the second month in a row. Prices have gone from 'wholly unaffordable', to 'virtually unaffordable', to now 'basically unaffordable'.
November 13, 2024 at 3:57 PM
The average cost to rent a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton has fallen, ever so slightly, for the second month in a row. Prices have gone from 'wholly unaffordable', to 'virtually unaffordable', to now 'basically unaffordable'.