Theophanes Avery
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theophanesavery.bsky.social
Theophanes Avery
@theophanesavery.bsky.social
They/Them

Author, blogger, photographer, artist, wanderer, and lover of life. Come on an adventure with me!

Heads up I'm also polyamorous, pansexual, nonbinary, autistic, ADHD, a spoonie, and occasionally mention these things. Much love. 🧡
Reposted by Theophanes Avery
My mom told her physical therapist she wears a mask because her husband and daughter are immunocompromised. The PT said she is too but isn't worried bc she knows if she dies she is going to heaven. Then her co-worker yelled, “Shut up Debbie you wear a seatbelt and take blood pressure meds” 👀
November 25, 2025 at 11:14 PM
So much is happening right now that I feel like I should be burning an effigy on New Year's to make sure the shitstorm doesn't follow us into 2026. Whose with me? We can make this a new holiday tradition! 🔥🔥🔥
November 26, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Intrusive thought: dress as Bigfoot and run by your neighbor's game camera some night.
November 26, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Town forum: "Who is the shirtless guy in a gorilla mask and Santa hat in the Market Basket parking lot?"
November 26, 2025 at 1:23 AM
So if someone's on a payment plan for back utility dues and they pay what is required but the utility company doesn't process it until after the date it's supposed to be paid what is the recourse for that? They're now demanding half of all the past dues now even though it was their fault.
November 24, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Last night I woke up at 3:45 in the morning to the overwhelming smell of cat shit. Groggy and annoyed I searched the whole room finding nothing, but silly me, I only looked on the floor. Just found it. On a shelf in the closet. *rubs my temples*
November 24, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Hundreds of Beavers
November 22, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I'm horrified. Talking to a Brit who says everyone who visits the states goes to NYC, Florida, or Texas. No wonder why they think we're insane, they been getting mugged then striking up conversations with Florida man.
November 22, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Have any of the crafty people here tried setting up a Mayhem Marketplace store? It's supposed to be an alternative to Etsy that only charges $5-10 a month, no listing fees. mayhem.my
Mayhem Marketplace - Handmade goods from your favorite creators.
Support your favorite creators and shop their handmade digital and physical goods and services.
mayhem.my
November 20, 2025 at 7:58 PM
My barbs have unanimously decided my hand is delicious and now every time I do fish tank maintenance they're nibbling on me. Maybe they're doctor fish in disguise.
November 19, 2025 at 9:34 PM
This has real ACME box trap vibes. "Let's lure people in with food to both our boycotted establishments at once!"
Beginning Monday, a Frozen Peppermint Hot Chocolate drink will be available exclusively at Starbucks cafés inside Target stores.

The chains are hoping the drink can drum up excitement from customers this holiday season.

🔗https://tinyurl.com/yrshv45s
November 18, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Don't threaten me with a good time... mixing my joy of natural pigments with my origional obscession: fossils? YES PLEASE.
DYK, that sepia ink was originally made from squid ink?

DYK, that it is possible to recover the remains of ink from fossil Belemnites?

DYK, that Mary Anning discovered this?

DYK, that you can reconstitute that fossil squid ink and use it to draw?

DYK, this was en vogue in the 19th century?
The Geological Society - Fossil sepia, described 1829
Discover and access geoscience information resources via one of the world’s premier Earth science libraries. Search our collection of printed books, maps and journals, e-journals, internet resources, ...
www.geolsoc.org.uk
November 17, 2025 at 9:37 PM
OK, maybe math can be a little fun...
For #FossilFriday & in honor of @alinemghilardi.bsky.social & colleagues' fantastic discovery of a new Cretaceous pterosaur in Brazil in a dinosaur regurgitalite ("fossil vomit"), here's a diagram I made for my book 'Dinosaurs Without Bones' (2014) showing the physics of a puking brachiosaur. 🧪🦕🤮🪨
November 17, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Are #owlbears hatched naked from eggs or are they fuzzy like baby bears? Also do they sleep cuddled and cute like a bear or in a drunken face plant like a baby owl?

Need to know for potentially distressing art project/gift.

*photo from image search to illustrate point
November 17, 2025 at 2:15 AM
If I were to create a god I'd make it a mushroom god. The more you look at mushrooms the more mind-blowing they are. Not an animal, not a plant, yet still somehow the largest living thing on the planet. Over 1,000 genders and they can talk to trees. How is this not a god??
November 16, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I find it really strange how the uber wealthy are both the people trying to achieve immortality and the ones who act like the most miserable fuckers anyone would care to look at. 🤔
November 14, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Camera vaguelly picked up some northern lights but I'm content how CREEPY this photo looks either way. 😂
November 14, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Today on Man V. Technology: The GPS Episode

*rubs temples*
November 14, 2025 at 1:24 AM
HOAs are a deal with the devil, not to mention their history is rooted in racism. Time to put them out to pasture.
“HOAs, in countless small ways, hurt homeowners more than they help. It’s time to reform or replace them with systems that respect property rights, fairness & community freedom.” - Hart ‘28 Dem Pursuing.com 🇺🇸💙
November 13, 2025 at 10:57 PM
You've been approved of a loan of up to 40k! At 24.99% interest? Yeeeeeah, I did some math and that was fucking BLEAK. Gonna pass. 😬
November 13, 2025 at 5:34 PM
2 years ago I set up a 75 gallon freshwater tank that was given to me with a cannister filtration system which lately has been on death's door. Ordered a new one and omg it looks like a hurricane in that tank. The old one never pushed water around like that! I feel like such a bad fish keeper.
November 12, 2025 at 8:41 PM
She lurks in the shadows leering at me like I'm the creepy one.
November 12, 2025 at 4:58 PM
There are an awfully lot of people who are dicks to everyone they know while simultaneously crying, "WHY DOES NOBODY LIKE ME?!"

My cat is also one of these people.
November 11, 2025 at 5:29 PM
So someone sold the cow for a couple useless beans? K. Let's see how this pans out.
November 10, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I appreciate that the new Frankenstein stayed true to the book with Victor making the monster a ghastly hodgepodge of only the most fuckable corpses. A chef's kiss to the social awkwardness of that.
November 9, 2025 at 11:42 PM