The ol' ALFer
@theolalfer.bsky.social
Stuck on Earth with the humans. That's OK. I like humans. I like their cats better. Not the real ALF, just parody, all respect to Paul Fusco and Alien Productions.
Mastodon: @theolalfer@tenforward.social
Author's personal account: @john-pilgrim.bsky.social
Mastodon: @theolalfer@tenforward.social
Author's personal account: @john-pilgrim.bsky.social
Just spitballin' here, Willie, but you told me Santa makes a list, and checks it twice. Isn't that a tacit admission that he might have made a mistake the first time? And if he did, then he might also make a mistake the second time...
You do have a lawyer on retainer, right?
You do have a lawyer on retainer, right?
November 16, 2025 at 5:21 AM
Just spitballin' here, Willie, but you told me Santa makes a list, and checks it twice. Isn't that a tacit admission that he might have made a mistake the first time? And if he did, then he might also make a mistake the second time...
You do have a lawyer on retainer, right?
You do have a lawyer on retainer, right?
Reposted by The ol' ALFer
Alf watching another sunrise in Seattle.
November 9, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Alf watching another sunrise in Seattle.
No, I'm not "Bubba".
November 14, 2025 at 10:48 PM
No, I'm not "Bubba".
Damn straight we do.
November 14, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Damn straight we do.
On an unrelated note, I notice that the Caitian Defense Grid is down for maintenance.
Don't ask me how I know these things. I just do.
I'm NOT violating any treaties. Just in case that's what you thought.
Don't ask me how I know these things. I just do.
I'm NOT violating any treaties. Just in case that's what you thought.
November 14, 2025 at 9:41 PM
On an unrelated note, I notice that the Caitian Defense Grid is down for maintenance.
Don't ask me how I know these things. I just do.
I'm NOT violating any treaties. Just in case that's what you thought.
Don't ask me how I know these things. I just do.
I'm NOT violating any treaties. Just in case that's what you thought.
Reposted by The ol' ALFer
// If you're familiar with our annual Pi stream, you're in for a holiday treat. If you're not, then I don't know what to tell you. It's unique.
OFFICIAL TRAILER - Matthew McConaughey Live Stream Holiday Event
YouTube video by Craven In Outer Space
youtu.be
November 14, 2025 at 3:52 PM
// If you're familiar with our annual Pi stream, you're in for a holiday treat. If you're not, then I don't know what to tell you. It's unique.
There are days where you do everything you're supposed to and life just doesn't give you any treat for it. That's how it is. Like today. I DIDN'T pester the cat, knock holes in the ceiling or burn the kitchen down. I didn't even leave the sofa! Are Willie and Kate happy... no!
November 13, 2025 at 10:03 PM
There are days where you do everything you're supposed to and life just doesn't give you any treat for it. That's how it is. Like today. I DIDN'T pester the cat, knock holes in the ceiling or burn the kitchen down. I didn't even leave the sofa! Are Willie and Kate happy... no!
Ask your mom
where do you put your lower arm when you spoon
November 12, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Ask your mom
Well, the snow's gone already. Let's have a vote and just agree winter's done for the year. 🙋🙋♂️🙋♀️
November 12, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Well, the snow's gone already. Let's have a vote and just agree winter's done for the year. 🙋🙋♂️🙋♀️
If you think you know how to prepare cat, but you don't, your name must be @replicatorunit.bsky.social.
Picard management tip: If they know their jobs, leave them alone. If they don't, help them learn.
November 12, 2025 at 12:01 AM
If you think you know how to prepare cat, but you don't, your name must be @replicatorunit.bsky.social.
At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the guns fell silent on the western front, for the first time in four years. This brought an end to the Great War, the "war to end all wars". Thank you to everyone who stood, everyone who served, and those who continue to do so.
November 11, 2025 at 7:47 PM
At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the guns fell silent on the western front, for the first time in four years. This brought an end to the Great War, the "war to end all wars". Thank you to everyone who stood, everyone who served, and those who continue to do so.
Reposted by The ol' ALFer
Happy ALF (the comic) Day to those who celebrate!
(ALF #1 on sale date: November 10, 1987)
(ALF #1 on sale date: November 10, 1987)
November 10, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Happy ALF (the comic) Day to those who celebrate!
(ALF #1 on sale date: November 10, 1987)
(ALF #1 on sale date: November 10, 1987)
name a villain you sympathize with
November 10, 2025 at 6:03 PM
name a villain you sympathize with
So you didn't get one of those Starbucks bear mug things?
Don't worry, the ol' ALFer's got you covered. www.etsy.com/listing/4384...
Don't worry, the ol' ALFer's got you covered. www.etsy.com/listing/4384...
November 8, 2025 at 8:05 PM
So you didn't get one of those Starbucks bear mug things?
Don't worry, the ol' ALFer's got you covered. www.etsy.com/listing/4384...
Don't worry, the ol' ALFer's got you covered. www.etsy.com/listing/4384...
Would one of you be willing to go for the ol' ALFer? I have a list of locations and names you can use. Send a message!
Free Chicken Sandwich with $1+ purchase at KFC (this weekend only) www.kfc.com
November 8, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Would one of you be willing to go for the ol' ALFer? I have a list of locations and names you can use. Send a message!
I, um... got into the liquor cabinet yesterday. Always wanna sing when I've been drinking. Don't know why.
🎶 Pink and green and orange and blue
And another kind of pink
And @cousinnudaq.bsky.social's shoe
And those are the colors
Of the Mel-mac-i-an rain-bowwww 🎶
And another kind of pink
And @cousinnudaq.bsky.social's shoe
And those are the colors
Of the Mel-mac-i-an rain-bowwww 🎶
November 8, 2025 at 6:49 PM
I, um... got into the liquor cabinet yesterday. Always wanna sing when I've been drinking. Don't know why.
Reposted by The ol' ALFer
My prints came in and I’m
so happy with them ! The cosmopolitan Alf is a misprint so I’m keeping it. 😂
I’ll be shipping them out by Monday.
so happy with them ! The cosmopolitan Alf is a misprint so I’m keeping it. 😂
I’ll be shipping them out by Monday.
November 7, 2025 at 8:02 PM
My prints came in and I’m
so happy with them ! The cosmopolitan Alf is a misprint so I’m keeping it. 😂
I’ll be shipping them out by Monday.
so happy with them ! The cosmopolitan Alf is a misprint so I’m keeping it. 😂
I’ll be shipping them out by Monday.
Reposted by The ol' ALFer
Sorry. We know canonically Batman doesn't fuck. DC told us so. There's no dick to draw.
November 8, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Sorry. We know canonically Batman doesn't fuck. DC told us so. There's no dick to draw.
🎶 Just a good ol' boy
Crashed on Earth and stranded
Beat all ya' never see
Been in troub' with Willie
Since the day he landed
Breakin' the house
Eatin' the food
Someday the ATF might get 'im
But he's got attitude
Crashed on Earth and stranded
Beat all ya' never see
Been in troub' with Willie
Since the day he landed
Breakin' the house
Eatin' the food
Someday the ATF might get 'im
But he's got attitude
November 8, 2025 at 6:13 AM
🎶 Just a good ol' boy
Crashed on Earth and stranded
Beat all ya' never see
Been in troub' with Willie
Since the day he landed
Breakin' the house
Eatin' the food
Someday the ATF might get 'im
But he's got attitude
Crashed on Earth and stranded
Beat all ya' never see
Been in troub' with Willie
Since the day he landed
Breakin' the house
Eatin' the food
Someday the ATF might get 'im
But he's got attitude
🎶 Well, listen to my story about a guy named Gord
Poor Orbit Guardsman, and really kinda bored
And then one day he was flyin' with his gang
And then his home planet just kinda went 'bang'.
Bombed, that is.
Nuclear explosion.
No more Melmac.
Poor Orbit Guardsman, and really kinda bored
And then one day he was flyin' with his gang
And then his home planet just kinda went 'bang'.
Bombed, that is.
Nuclear explosion.
No more Melmac.
November 8, 2025 at 3:58 AM
🎶 Well, listen to my story about a guy named Gord
Poor Orbit Guardsman, and really kinda bored
And then one day he was flyin' with his gang
And then his home planet just kinda went 'bang'.
Bombed, that is.
Nuclear explosion.
No more Melmac.
Poor Orbit Guardsman, and really kinda bored
And then one day he was flyin' with his gang
And then his home planet just kinda went 'bang'.
Bombed, that is.
Nuclear explosion.
No more Melmac.
🎶 Pink and green and orange and blue
And another kind of pink
And @cousinnudaq.bsky.social's shoe
And those are the colors
Of the Mel-mac-i-an rain-bowwww 🎶
And another kind of pink
And @cousinnudaq.bsky.social's shoe
And those are the colors
Of the Mel-mac-i-an rain-bowwww 🎶
November 8, 2025 at 2:42 AM
🎶 Pink and green and orange and blue
And another kind of pink
And @cousinnudaq.bsky.social's shoe
And those are the colors
Of the Mel-mac-i-an rain-bowwww 🎶
And another kind of pink
And @cousinnudaq.bsky.social's shoe
And those are the colors
Of the Mel-mac-i-an rain-bowwww 🎶
Willie and Kate? Disapproving of something? Why, I never...
This week on ALFsplaining: Lynn starts dating the man, the myth, the legend Michael des Barres and Willie and Kate immediately disapprove for some reason.
Listen in at linktr.ee/ALFsplaining
Listen in at linktr.ee/ALFsplaining
November 7, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Willie and Kate? Disapproving of something? Why, I never...
So Willie brought home some bags and boxes, and put them into the closet that no one is supposed to go into, and said I was not to look at them with a wink and a smile.
I've thought about it, and this obviously means Willie has turned to drug running. Is it my duty to turn him in, or no?
I've thought about it, and this obviously means Willie has turned to drug running. Is it my duty to turn him in, or no?
November 6, 2025 at 7:56 PM
So Willie brought home some bags and boxes, and put them into the closet that no one is supposed to go into, and said I was not to look at them with a wink and a smile.
I've thought about it, and this obviously means Willie has turned to drug running. Is it my duty to turn him in, or no?
I've thought about it, and this obviously means Willie has turned to drug running. Is it my duty to turn him in, or no?