The Clear Cider
@theclearcider.bsky.social
Oh, stop it! Laugh. Parody, satire, & truth as needed. Prevent truth decay, brush with Clear Cider. Caution, I still run with scissors. Dog lover.
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Only Trump would be late to his terrorist explanation press conference …
January 3, 2026 at 4:17 PM
Only Trump would be late to his terrorist explanation press conference …
The remaining intelligence structure of Venezuela & her allies now has reason to release their full copies of the Trump-Epstein files … so there’s that.
January 3, 2026 at 4:11 PM
The remaining intelligence structure of Venezuela & her allies now has reason to release their full copies of the Trump-Epstein files … so there’s that.
Reposted by The Clear Cider
It’s not about drugs. If it was, Trump wouldn’t have pardoned one of the largest narco traffickers in the world last month.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
January 3, 2026 at 3:34 PM
It’s not about drugs. If it was, Trump wouldn’t have pardoned one of the largest narco traffickers in the world last month.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Trump is playing war this morning.
January 3, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Trump is playing war this morning.
What if another country invaded & captured our lumpy president and his current wife ?
January 3, 2026 at 3:39 PM
What if another country invaded & captured our lumpy president and his current wife ?
The pimp capital, Mar-a-Lardo, is now officially a terrorist nest.
Run, bed bugs, run.
Run, bed bugs, run.
January 3, 2026 at 3:25 PM
The pimp capital, Mar-a-Lardo, is now officially a terrorist nest.
Run, bed bugs, run.
Run, bed bugs, run.
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Nothing knocks the Epstein files off the news cycle quite so successfully as kidnapping a neighboring country's president and hauling him into a US court to face (checks notes) "the full wrath of American justice."🙄
January 3, 2026 at 2:50 PM
Nothing knocks the Epstein files off the news cycle quite so successfully as kidnapping a neighboring country's president and hauling him into a US court to face (checks notes) "the full wrath of American justice."🙄
Canada, Greenland, Mexico, Panama, windmills … y’all in trouble, girls.
January 3, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Canada, Greenland, Mexico, Panama, windmills … y’all in trouble, girls.
As an aside, why do you think Rudy’s dentist hates him?
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
January 3, 2026 at 3:00 PM
As an aside, why do you think Rudy’s dentist hates him?
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Those shoes and that cummerbund are both hiding insidious bulges …
January 3, 2026 at 4:32 AM
Wow — what’s in the Trump-Epstein files that we don’t yet know about ?! Must be something extraordinarily vile & criminal …
January 3, 2026 at 11:28 AM
Wow — what’s in the Trump-Epstein files that we don’t yet know about ?! Must be something extraordinarily vile & criminal …
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Me going to bed on January 2nd 2026: I've got a really good feeling about this year.
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
a man in a suit and tie is saying " that 's just not true in any way whatsoever "
Alt: John Oliver is saying " that 's just not true in any way whatsoever "
media.tenor.com
January 3, 2026 at 11:17 AM
Me going to bed on January 2nd 2026: I've got a really good feeling about this year.
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Amazing what someone will do to stop people talking about the Epstein files
January 3, 2026 at 10:32 AM
Amazing what someone will do to stop people talking about the Epstein files
Rudy with his Mar-a-Lago “provided” holidays edition caretaker … those fake teeth … 🤣🤣🤣
January 3, 2026 at 3:54 AM
Rudy with his Mar-a-Lago “provided” holidays edition caretaker … those fake teeth … 🤣🤣🤣
Again with the Mar-a-Lago Hitler stand-in ?
January 3, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Again with the Mar-a-Lago Hitler stand-in ?
Reposted by The Clear Cider
November 13, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Reposted by The Clear Cider
That time a Melania paraded in front of the poor with her $3000 dress & $5000 purse.
January 2, 2026 at 3:32 PM
That time a Melania paraded in front of the poor with her $3000 dress & $5000 purse.
Have you ever taken a “cognitive test” ?
January 3, 2026 at 2:26 AM
Have you ever taken a “cognitive test” ?
Reposted by The Clear Cider
It’s been over a year now, but every day, the projected runoff amount increases …
After Trump is buried at his golf course, a new water hazard will form …
December 15, 2025 at 9:19 PM
It’s been over a year now, but every day, the projected runoff amount increases …
Reposted by The Clear Cider
If they’ve already been murdered, isn’t Lumpy McCankles a bit late with his rescue?
At 3 a.m., immediately following a post claiming he aced his cognitive test, Senile Satan is now threatening a war with Iran. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
January 2, 2026 at 3:52 PM
If they’ve already been murdered, isn’t Lumpy McCankles a bit late with his rescue?
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Supposedly, Trump invited all of his paid Melania escort stand-ins to his NYE party.
What do you notice here?
What do you notice here?
January 2, 2026 at 4:45 PM
Supposedly, Trump invited all of his paid Melania escort stand-ins to his NYE party.
What do you notice here?
What do you notice here?
Trump now claims he has passed multiple cognitive tests.
Why are they giving him multiple cognitive tests?
Oh. Wait.
Why are they giving him multiple cognitive tests?
Oh. Wait.
January 2, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Trump now claims he has passed multiple cognitive tests.
Why are they giving him multiple cognitive tests?
Oh. Wait.
Why are they giving him multiple cognitive tests?
Oh. Wait.
Supposedly, Trump invited all of his paid Melania escort stand-ins to his NYE party.
What do you notice here?
What do you notice here?
January 2, 2026 at 4:45 PM
Supposedly, Trump invited all of his paid Melania escort stand-ins to his NYE party.
What do you notice here?
What do you notice here?
If they’ve already been murdered, isn’t Lumpy McCankles a bit late with his rescue?
At 3 a.m., immediately following a post claiming he aced his cognitive test, Senile Satan is now threatening a war with Iran. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
January 2, 2026 at 3:52 PM
If they’ve already been murdered, isn’t Lumpy McCankles a bit late with his rescue?