The Clear Cider
@theclearcider.bsky.social
Oh, stop it! Laugh. Parody, satire, & truth as needed. Prevent truth decay, brush with Clear Cider. Caution, I still run with scissors. Dog lover.
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So groceries are coming down now?
January 3, 2026 at 5:16 PM
So groceries are coming down now?
Reposted by The Clear Cider
He’s using Venezuela as a distraction so we’ll forget about the Epstein files.
Joke’s on him. We can multitask.
Release the Epstein files.
Joke’s on him. We can multitask.
Release the Epstein files.
January 3, 2026 at 4:06 PM
He’s using Venezuela as a distraction so we’ll forget about the Epstein files.
Joke’s on him. We can multitask.
Release the Epstein files.
Joke’s on him. We can multitask.
Release the Epstein files.
As nearly always, Trump can barely keep his eyes open …
January 3, 2026 at 5:02 PM
As nearly always, Trump can barely keep his eyes open …
Trump rated at a 4th grade reading level, long ago.
Still.
Still.
January 3, 2026 at 4:58 PM
Trump rated at a 4th grade reading level, long ago.
Still.
Still.
Reposted by The Clear Cider
He’s having a really hard time reading. He’s gotten lost and re-read his previous sentence twice now.
January 3, 2026 at 4:50 PM
He’s having a really hard time reading. He’s gotten lost and re-read his previous sentence twice now.
If he takes questions, will some reporter ask Trump about Epstein?! 🤣🤣🤣
January 3, 2026 at 4:50 PM
If he takes questions, will some reporter ask Trump about Epstein?! 🤣🤣🤣
Trump declares night is dark !!!
January 3, 2026 at 4:42 PM
Trump declares night is dark !!!
That 1990’s Mar-a-Lardo carpeting is horrid …
January 3, 2026 at 4:30 PM
That 1990’s Mar-a-Lardo carpeting is horrid …
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Maduro was a brutal ruler, it’s true. So is Putin—who Trump supports. So was Bolsonaro, who Trump supports. So was the drug-trafficking former head of Honduras, who Trump just pardoned. So is Nayib Bukele in El Salvador. MBS. Bibi.
Stop pretending Trump cares about illegitimacy or brutality.
Stop pretending Trump cares about illegitimacy or brutality.
January 3, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Maduro was a brutal ruler, it’s true. So is Putin—who Trump supports. So was Bolsonaro, who Trump supports. So was the drug-trafficking former head of Honduras, who Trump just pardoned. So is Nayib Bukele in El Salvador. MBS. Bibi.
Stop pretending Trump cares about illegitimacy or brutality.
Stop pretending Trump cares about illegitimacy or brutality.
Only Trump would be late to his terrorist explanation press conference …
January 3, 2026 at 4:17 PM
Only Trump would be late to his terrorist explanation press conference …
The remaining intelligence structure of Venezuela & her allies now has reason to release their full copies of the Trump-Epstein files … so there’s that.
January 3, 2026 at 4:11 PM
The remaining intelligence structure of Venezuela & her allies now has reason to release their full copies of the Trump-Epstein files … so there’s that.
Reposted by The Clear Cider
It’s not about drugs. If it was, Trump wouldn’t have pardoned one of the largest narco traffickers in the world last month.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
January 3, 2026 at 3:34 PM
It’s not about drugs. If it was, Trump wouldn’t have pardoned one of the largest narco traffickers in the world last month.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
It’s about oil and regime change.
And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Trump is playing war this morning.
January 3, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Trump is playing war this morning.
What if another country invaded & captured our lumpy president and his current wife ?
January 3, 2026 at 3:39 PM
What if another country invaded & captured our lumpy president and his current wife ?
The pimp capital, Mar-a-Lardo, is now officially a terrorist nest.
Run, bed bugs, run.
Run, bed bugs, run.
January 3, 2026 at 3:25 PM
The pimp capital, Mar-a-Lardo, is now officially a terrorist nest.
Run, bed bugs, run.
Run, bed bugs, run.
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Nothing knocks the Epstein files off the news cycle quite so successfully as kidnapping a neighboring country's president and hauling him into a US court to face (checks notes) "the full wrath of American justice."🙄
January 3, 2026 at 2:50 PM
Nothing knocks the Epstein files off the news cycle quite so successfully as kidnapping a neighboring country's president and hauling him into a US court to face (checks notes) "the full wrath of American justice."🙄
Canada, Greenland, Mexico, Panama, windmills … y’all in trouble, girls.
January 3, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Canada, Greenland, Mexico, Panama, windmills … y’all in trouble, girls.
As an aside, why do you think Rudy’s dentist hates him?
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
January 3, 2026 at 3:00 PM
As an aside, why do you think Rudy’s dentist hates him?
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
(Seen here with his Mar-a-Lago escort / “crypt keeper”)
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Those shoes and that cummerbund are both hiding insidious bulges …
January 3, 2026 at 4:32 AM
Wow — what’s in the Trump-Epstein files that we don’t yet know about ?! Must be something extraordinarily vile & criminal …
January 3, 2026 at 11:28 AM
Wow — what’s in the Trump-Epstein files that we don’t yet know about ?! Must be something extraordinarily vile & criminal …
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Me going to bed on January 2nd 2026: I've got a really good feeling about this year.
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
a man in a suit and tie is saying " that 's just not true in any way whatsoever "
Alt: John Oliver is saying " that 's just not true in any way whatsoever "
media.tenor.com
January 3, 2026 at 11:17 AM
Me going to bed on January 2nd 2026: I've got a really good feeling about this year.
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
Me waking up on January 3rd 2026:
Reposted by The Clear Cider
Amazing what someone will do to stop people talking about the Epstein files
January 3, 2026 at 10:32 AM
Amazing what someone will do to stop people talking about the Epstein files
Rudy with his Mar-a-Lago “provided” holidays edition caretaker … those fake teeth … 🤣🤣🤣
January 3, 2026 at 3:54 AM
Rudy with his Mar-a-Lago “provided” holidays edition caretaker … those fake teeth … 🤣🤣🤣