Argon Dreamcast Evangelion
@synthandlasers.bsky.social
"You’re good at posting. I just hate what you post." -A man named Roger
Toast, cheddar, sausage, egg, and a great deal of hot sauce and seasoning. I love you, night breakfast
December 30, 2025 at 8:24 AM
Toast, cheddar, sausage, egg, and a great deal of hot sauce and seasoning. I love you, night breakfast
"That's the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life, and a dude sucked my dick two weeks ago"
-Me, to my straight friend, in response to her lock screen being a picture of her straight boyfriend
-Me, to my straight friend, in response to her lock screen being a picture of her straight boyfriend
December 30, 2025 at 4:36 AM
"That's the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life, and a dude sucked my dick two weeks ago"
-Me, to my straight friend, in response to her lock screen being a picture of her straight boyfriend
-Me, to my straight friend, in response to her lock screen being a picture of her straight boyfriend
"I am going to become uncouth!"
-My stressed out supervisor dropping my new favorite threat
-My stressed out supervisor dropping my new favorite threat
December 30, 2025 at 4:25 AM
"I am going to become uncouth!"
-My stressed out supervisor dropping my new favorite threat
-My stressed out supervisor dropping my new favorite threat
"Pond scum" sounds like a slur for frogs
December 28, 2025 at 11:46 PM
"Pond scum" sounds like a slur for frogs
My new band's first single is a mashup of "Hide and Seek" and "Radioactive"
We're called Imogen Dragons
We're called Imogen Dragons
December 28, 2025 at 11:36 PM
My new band's first single is a mashup of "Hide and Seek" and "Radioactive"
We're called Imogen Dragons
We're called Imogen Dragons
Daughter: "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
Father: "Because your mother loves roses, sweety"
Son: "Where did I get my name, dad?"
Father: "lol I fuckin' love played-out 2000s internet memes you little shit"
Father: "Because your mother loves roses, sweety"
Son: "Where did I get my name, dad?"
Father: "lol I fuckin' love played-out 2000s internet memes you little shit"
December 28, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Daughter: "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
Father: "Because your mother loves roses, sweety"
Son: "Where did I get my name, dad?"
Father: "lol I fuckin' love played-out 2000s internet memes you little shit"
Father: "Because your mother loves roses, sweety"
Son: "Where did I get my name, dad?"
Father: "lol I fuckin' love played-out 2000s internet memes you little shit"
Christmas was yesterday. What are carolers doing he_ OH FUCK YEAH!
December 27, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Christmas was yesterday. What are carolers doing he_ OH FUCK YEAH!
Candy canes are a fun Christmas treat, I just think there should be other delicious mobility aids. Open up your stockings kids, Santa brought you a chocolate wheelchair
December 27, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Candy canes are a fun Christmas treat, I just think there should be other delicious mobility aids. Open up your stockings kids, Santa brought you a chocolate wheelchair
Me: "I have chronic pain in this muscle"
The Internet: "Oh that's easy to fix. Just apply pressure with a lacrosse ball"
Me: "Thank you so much! Let me just go to the place in my home where I store all of my lacrosse equipment like a regular man"
The Internet: "Oh that's easy to fix. Just apply pressure with a lacrosse ball"
Me: "Thank you so much! Let me just go to the place in my home where I store all of my lacrosse equipment like a regular man"
December 27, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Me: "I have chronic pain in this muscle"
The Internet: "Oh that's easy to fix. Just apply pressure with a lacrosse ball"
Me: "Thank you so much! Let me just go to the place in my home where I store all of my lacrosse equipment like a regular man"
The Internet: "Oh that's easy to fix. Just apply pressure with a lacrosse ball"
Me: "Thank you so much! Let me just go to the place in my home where I store all of my lacrosse equipment like a regular man"
Me: "I enjoy this thing of yours"
Friend: "Thank you. This is how much money I paid for it"
Me: "Haha cool so, hey like, what am I supposed to do with this information?"
Friend: "Thank you. This is how much money I paid for it"
Me: "Haha cool so, hey like, what am I supposed to do with this information?"
December 26, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Me: "I enjoy this thing of yours"
Friend: "Thank you. This is how much money I paid for it"
Me: "Haha cool so, hey like, what am I supposed to do with this information?"
Friend: "Thank you. This is how much money I paid for it"
Me: "Haha cool so, hey like, what am I supposed to do with this information?"
TikTok rules because I'll see people casually dropping slurs and death threats that stay up forever, but I just had a comment removed for "violating community guidelines" that was literally just this image:
December 26, 2025 at 10:24 PM
TikTok rules because I'll see people casually dropping slurs and death threats that stay up forever, but I just had a comment removed for "violating community guidelines" that was literally just this image:
What's with the weird trope of the name Alucard? Why is Dracula the one name we decided needed to be backwards all the time?
December 26, 2025 at 9:56 PM
What's with the weird trope of the name Alucard? Why is Dracula the one name we decided needed to be backwards all the time?
Sun Tzu got really lucky he wrote that book at a time before the very concept of strategy had apparently been invented. Yeah I'd probably be regarded as a genius too if no one had ever come up with, "Yeah so, uh, having more dudes in your army than their army is like probably a good idea lol"
December 26, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Sun Tzu got really lucky he wrote that book at a time before the very concept of strategy had apparently been invented. Yeah I'd probably be regarded as a genius too if no one had ever come up with, "Yeah so, uh, having more dudes in your army than their army is like probably a good idea lol"
Remake of the Grinch but instead of Whoville it's set in the Chicago suburbs. He breaks into his next house and, bam! Domed by a paint can. Surprise, bitch, it's another Home Alone movie. And Kevin knows Grinches aren't afforded human rights protections...
December 25, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Remake of the Grinch but instead of Whoville it's set in the Chicago suburbs. He breaks into his next house and, bam! Domed by a paint can. Surprise, bitch, it's another Home Alone movie. And Kevin knows Grinches aren't afforded human rights protections...
"And Tiny Tim, who d̶i̶d̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶ got his shit absolutely fucking ROCKED by tuberculosis..."
December 25, 2025 at 5:16 PM
"And Tiny Tim, who d̶i̶d̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶ got his shit absolutely fucking ROCKED by tuberculosis..."
They call it the yule log because yule log onto bluesky dot com to wish everyone a merry Christmas
December 25, 2025 at 5:13 PM
They call it the yule log because yule log onto bluesky dot com to wish everyone a merry Christmas
Fell asleep in jeans at 10pm. Woke up at 4am. Made tacos and chocolate milk. Going back to bed. Christmas is weird.
December 25, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Fell asleep in jeans at 10pm. Woke up at 4am. Made tacos and chocolate milk. Going back to bed. Christmas is weird.
Friend groups in the Midwest are so weird. Why am I hanging out on a couch in a cocktail bar with:
• One of my high school best friends
• The last person I had sex with
• A fifty year old man dressed like a Final Fantasy airship captain telling all of us about his laserdisc collection
• One of my high school best friends
• The last person I had sex with
• A fifty year old man dressed like a Final Fantasy airship captain telling all of us about his laserdisc collection
December 24, 2025 at 5:34 AM
Friend groups in the Midwest are so weird. Why am I hanging out on a couch in a cocktail bar with:
• One of my high school best friends
• The last person I had sex with
• A fifty year old man dressed like a Final Fantasy airship captain telling all of us about his laserdisc collection
• One of my high school best friends
• The last person I had sex with
• A fifty year old man dressed like a Final Fantasy airship captain telling all of us about his laserdisc collection
Wine makes me poop. That's why they call it shartonnay
December 24, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Wine makes me poop. That's why they call it shartonnay
Rear-ended a guy in a Nissan Rogue and he would've been fine if it weren't for that extra D6 damage
December 23, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Rear-ended a guy in a Nissan Rogue and he would've been fine if it weren't for that extra D6 damage
My thoughts on the Jake Paul vs Anthony Joshua fight is that that is too many first names
December 21, 2025 at 10:30 PM
My thoughts on the Jake Paul vs Anthony Joshua fight is that that is too many first names
You ever have a song so thoroughly stuck in your head that you have to just go sit down, pop your earbuds in, and listen to that one track real quick before getting back to your day like an audio smoke break?
December 21, 2025 at 10:21 PM
You ever have a song so thoroughly stuck in your head that you have to just go sit down, pop your earbuds in, and listen to that one track real quick before getting back to your day like an audio smoke break?
"I asked ChatGPT"
"I asked Grok"
Yeah well I texted ChaCha and...well their answer was still wrong too, but it used up WAY less water
"I asked Grok"
Yeah well I texted ChaCha and...well their answer was still wrong too, but it used up WAY less water
December 21, 2025 at 8:09 PM
"I asked ChatGPT"
"I asked Grok"
Yeah well I texted ChaCha and...well their answer was still wrong too, but it used up WAY less water
"I asked Grok"
Yeah well I texted ChaCha and...well their answer was still wrong too, but it used up WAY less water
Thank you for coming to my RedacTED Talk
December 21, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Thank you for coming to my RedacTED Talk