Stew
@stewnami.bsky.social
Problem solver. Idiot. Co-host of Salty Language Podcast and The Crazy Life Podcast.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajoi7hhr6mi
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajoi7hhr6mi
A boutonniere, buts a knife under the ribs
November 11, 2025 at 9:43 AM
A boutonniere, buts a knife under the ribs
That lipstick and pink eye combo really suits you
November 10, 2025 at 3:19 PM
That lipstick and pink eye combo really suits you
*Ties you up like you were on the phone with the curly chord in the 90s
November 10, 2025 at 8:17 AM
*Ties you up like you were on the phone with the curly chord in the 90s
You can take my breath away, but please give my nose back
November 10, 2025 at 7:33 AM
You can take my breath away, but please give my nose back
*Messages someone on a dating app, just to find out where they got that pizza*
November 9, 2025 at 2:35 PM
*Messages someone on a dating app, just to find out where they got that pizza*
I’ve spent so long coloring inside the lines, I don’t even see beyond them anymore
November 9, 2025 at 6:15 AM
I’ve spent so long coloring inside the lines, I don’t even see beyond them anymore
Reposted by Stew
I can’t believe I spent 10,000 hours learning how to make the perfect spoon and then learning all I needed was a knife
November 6, 2025 at 7:52 PM
I can’t believe I spent 10,000 hours learning how to make the perfect spoon and then learning all I needed was a knife
So Predator Badlands is just them going to Australia, right?
November 4, 2025 at 7:52 AM
So Predator Badlands is just them going to Australia, right?
Sometimes, to breathe is to drown
November 3, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Sometimes, to breathe is to drown
As an insomniac, I’d trade some of my sleep for time with you
November 2, 2025 at 4:05 PM
As an insomniac, I’d trade some of my sleep for time with you
Drifting through life, hoping someone will grab me and shake me awake
November 2, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Drifting through life, hoping someone will grab me and shake me awake
A haunted house, buts it’s full of memories, but not the people
November 1, 2025 at 8:23 AM
A haunted house, buts it’s full of memories, but not the people
You’ve barely touched your creamed candy corn…
November 1, 2025 at 5:10 AM
You’ve barely touched your creamed candy corn…
Paint your ass like a pumpkin and hop on the copy machine for some fun office decorations!
October 31, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Paint your ass like a pumpkin and hop on the copy machine for some fun office decorations!
Witches are the ones with the good grip.
No hands and flying no on a broom
No hands and flying no on a broom
October 31, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Witches are the ones with the good grip.
No hands and flying no on a broom
No hands and flying no on a broom
I like to misidentify people’s Halloween costumes for funsies
October 30, 2025 at 2:37 PM
I like to misidentify people’s Halloween costumes for funsies
It’s funny how people tell me not to make it weird, but still invite me to things
October 30, 2025 at 4:18 AM
It’s funny how people tell me not to make it weird, but still invite me to things
Happy National cat day from me and Callie!
October 30, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Happy National cat day from me and Callie!
This migraine feels like my depression will get the isolated, cold, dark room that it wants today
October 29, 2025 at 1:50 PM
This migraine feels like my depression will get the isolated, cold, dark room that it wants today
Seeing the worst of people has always made me want to be the best of people
October 29, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Seeing the worst of people has always made me want to be the best of people
I’m convinced that fast food places are basically trying to convince adults that kids meals are “value” meals now.
October 29, 2025 at 7:15 AM
I’m convinced that fast food places are basically trying to convince adults that kids meals are “value” meals now.
Wait, “Sloppy Top” isn’t a mixture of Stove Top stuffing and sloppy joes???
October 28, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Wait, “Sloppy Top” isn’t a mixture of Stove Top stuffing and sloppy joes???
Dirty talk, but it’s us just whispering Taco Bell items in each other’s ears
October 27, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Dirty talk, but it’s us just whispering Taco Bell items in each other’s ears
Reposted by Stew
ME: *baiting another pig trap and putting it in the kitchen*
UNDER FRIDGE PIG: 👁️🐽👁️
UNDER FRIDGE PIG: 👁️🐽👁️
October 24, 2025 at 3:41 AM
ME: *baiting another pig trap and putting it in the kitchen*
UNDER FRIDGE PIG: 👁️🐽👁️
UNDER FRIDGE PIG: 👁️🐽👁️
When you’re younger: Be home by the time the streetlights come on
When you’re older: I wanna be home before the beat drops
When you’re older: I wanna be home before the beat drops
October 26, 2025 at 5:19 AM
When you’re younger: Be home by the time the streetlights come on
When you’re older: I wanna be home before the beat drops
When you’re older: I wanna be home before the beat drops