Herlock Shaloms
@shevitzsays.bsky.social
I talk a lot for someone who has nothing to say.
Pinned
Herlock Shaloms
@shevitzsays.bsky.social
· Apr 12
Quit stealing my jokes. These are mine. Nachos.
THANK FUCKING GOD
Feb 1, 2026
Feb 1, 2026
February 1, 2026 at 6:12 AM
THANK FUCKING GOD
Feb 1, 2026
Feb 1, 2026
Springsteen’s new song fell a little short for me. Once he mentioned Renee and Alex by name, that is. I wish it would have been a nameless stand against this administration - and less about the individual people. Especially because more than those two have died at the hand of ICE. Still powerful.
January 31, 2026 at 4:11 PM
Springsteen’s new song fell a little short for me. Once he mentioned Renee and Alex by name, that is. I wish it would have been a nameless stand against this administration - and less about the individual people. Especially because more than those two have died at the hand of ICE. Still powerful.
Who wants to meet up and just yell FUCK real loud into the abyss a bunch of times
January 30, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Who wants to meet up and just yell FUCK real loud into the abyss a bunch of times
*SLAPS SELF IN THE FACE*
Ok, that didn’t wake me up. Any other suggestions??? 🫣
Ok, that didn’t wake me up. Any other suggestions??? 🫣
January 30, 2026 at 6:15 PM
*SLAPS SELF IN THE FACE*
Ok, that didn’t wake me up. Any other suggestions??? 🫣
Ok, that didn’t wake me up. Any other suggestions??? 🫣
Reposted by Herlock Shaloms
When a pig gets an abrasion he puts on some oinkment. It's called Neosporkin.
January 30, 2026 at 1:28 AM
When a pig gets an abrasion he puts on some oinkment. It's called Neosporkin.
Inching closer and closer to becoming unfiltered and just straight up asking people if they are fucking stupid or what
January 29, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Inching closer and closer to becoming unfiltered and just straight up asking people if they are fucking stupid or what
IF YOU’RE NOT SURE WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE THAT 👏🏼 IS 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 POINT
January 29, 2026 at 6:12 PM
IF YOU’RE NOT SURE WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE THAT 👏🏼 IS 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 POINT
So let me get this straight…. Kicking an inanimate object (tail light) is now punishable by murder in your eyes, but sexual assault charges land you the presidency? JFC
January 29, 2026 at 4:21 PM
So let me get this straight…. Kicking an inanimate object (tail light) is now punishable by murder in your eyes, but sexual assault charges land you the presidency? JFC
Part of my brain is legit damaged, yet I still manage empathy. What’s your excuse?
January 28, 2026 at 1:15 PM
Part of my brain is legit damaged, yet I still manage empathy. What’s your excuse?
I’ve already dissociated I can’t dissociate any further.
January 27, 2026 at 4:51 PM
I’ve already dissociated I can’t dissociate any further.
didn’t realize “retroactive self defense” was a thing. nope, pretty sure that’s just retaliation - aka murder.
January 25, 2026 at 11:47 PM
didn’t realize “retroactive self defense” was a thing. nope, pretty sure that’s just retaliation - aka murder.
HOLY MOTHER FORKING SHIRTBALLS.
😱
THIS is “The Bad Place.”
😱
THIS is “The Bad Place.”
January 24, 2026 at 10:24 PM
HOLY MOTHER FORKING SHIRTBALLS.
😱
THIS is “The Bad Place.”
😱
THIS is “The Bad Place.”
American Horror Story, Season 13: America is a Horror Story 💀
January 21, 2026 at 6:25 PM
American Horror Story, Season 13: America is a Horror Story 💀
My greatest fear is that I’m actually a broom.
January 21, 2026 at 4:30 AM
My greatest fear is that I’m actually a broom.
I think before I speak because of that one time I accidentally said I brushed my hair with a dingleberry instead of a dinglehopper.
January 20, 2026 at 7:42 PM
I think before I speak because of that one time I accidentally said I brushed my hair with a dingleberry instead of a dinglehopper.
Right now America is giving “I showed up to class, but the teacher didn’t… because he was busy outside setting the building on fire - and also - by the way, we are locked inside” vibes.
January 20, 2026 at 2:34 AM
Right now America is giving “I showed up to class, but the teacher didn’t… because he was busy outside setting the building on fire - and also - by the way, we are locked inside” vibes.
Pretty ironic being called out on our “divisiveness” when we are protesting your celebration of division.
January 17, 2026 at 9:09 PM
Pretty ironic being called out on our “divisiveness” when we are protesting your celebration of division.
Reposted by Herlock Shaloms
Gonna ask Meryl Streep to give me one of her Oscars
January 16, 2026 at 3:18 AM
Gonna ask Meryl Streep to give me one of her Oscars
This is all just some elaborate “Make a Wish, Senior Edition,” isn’t it? His fortune in exchange for free-reign to shit on *gestures to everything*
January 16, 2026 at 5:31 PM
This is all just some elaborate “Make a Wish, Senior Edition,” isn’t it? His fortune in exchange for free-reign to shit on *gestures to everything*
I’mmma need IT or whoever is in charge to reboot whichever system is causing my simulation to be all whackadoodle. Wake me when it’s over. Kthxbai
January 16, 2026 at 1:28 PM
I’mmma need IT or whoever is in charge to reboot whichever system is causing my simulation to be all whackadoodle. Wake me when it’s over. Kthxbai
I don’t know which is worse: The fact that this is legit happening - or - That there are people laughing at these incidents and comparisons. I feel sick.
January 15, 2026 at 4:03 PM
I don’t know which is worse: The fact that this is legit happening - or - That there are people laughing at these incidents and comparisons. I feel sick.
Reposted by Herlock Shaloms
*opens drapes this morning*
Oh look honey a fresh layer of batshit
Oh look honey a fresh layer of batshit
January 15, 2026 at 2:40 PM
*opens drapes this morning*
Oh look honey a fresh layer of batshit
Oh look honey a fresh layer of batshit
AIR FORCE ONE: BIG BEAUTIFUL BALCONY
Hurry! Someone call Trump and relay this immaculate plan!
Hurry! Someone call Trump and relay this immaculate plan!
airplanes should have balconies
January 15, 2026 at 3:23 AM
AIR FORCE ONE: BIG BEAUTIFUL BALCONY
Hurry! Someone call Trump and relay this immaculate plan!
Hurry! Someone call Trump and relay this immaculate plan!