Shawn Krest
@shawnkrest.bsky.social
Talented, for a local writer
Niece is discussing her upcoming high school dance on the extended family group chat (which seems like a terrible idea)
February 6, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Niece is discussing her upcoming high school dance on the extended family group chat (which seems like a terrible idea)
Got my first hate email from someone who lost money betting on a game I picked, I get lots of hate tweets but this is the first time someone’s taken time to hunt down my personal email.
Googled to see who the guy was. First link was the sex offender registry
Didn’t click but I’m guessing stalking?
Googled to see who the guy was. First link was the sex offender registry
Didn’t click but I’m guessing stalking?
February 2, 2026 at 6:13 AM
Got my first hate email from someone who lost money betting on a game I picked, I get lots of hate tweets but this is the first time someone’s taken time to hunt down my personal email.
Googled to see who the guy was. First link was the sex offender registry
Didn’t click but I’m guessing stalking?
Googled to see who the guy was. First link was the sex offender registry
Didn’t click but I’m guessing stalking?
Yes. It was Curlefest lol
Wait…was the pig pickin she drug you to one of the ones I hosted? I have memory of you coming for some reason. I hope I’m not conflating memories…
January 29, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Yes. It was Curlefest lol
The Buddhist monks' Walk for Peace went right down our street the other day. Here are my thoughts randolphrecord.com/walking-thro...
Walking through the storm: Buddhist monks take journey of peace – Randolph Record
randolphrecord.com
January 28, 2026 at 7:14 AM
The Buddhist monks' Walk for Peace went right down our street the other day. Here are my thoughts randolphrecord.com/walking-thro...
Another hall of fame ballot. Another chance for voters to go mean girls. “The only unforgivable sin is not being nice to us”
A stunner from @dvnjr.bsky.social and me: Bill Belichick is not a first ballot Hall of Famer. He didn't get elected this year. The 8-time champion failed to 40 out of the 50 votes required for induction.
www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
Sources: Bill Belichick will not be a first-ballot Hall of Famer
Bill Belichick, the eight-time Super Bowl-winning coach, will not a first-ballot Hall of Famer, sources told ESPN.
www.espn.com
January 27, 2026 at 10:56 PM
Another hall of fame ballot. Another chance for voters to go mean girls. “The only unforgivable sin is not being nice to us”
Are those notes in the anthem … on purpose?
January 25, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Are those notes in the anthem … on purpose?
If the news or weather situation is serious enough to interrupt regular programming, I feel like there shouldn’t be commercial breaks. Like “we can’t show you face the nation because of this dangerous weather, but if you want a great deal on a mattress…
January 25, 2026 at 3:48 PM
If the news or weather situation is serious enough to interrupt regular programming, I feel like there shouldn’t be commercial breaks. Like “we can’t show you face the nation because of this dangerous weather, but if you want a great deal on a mattress…
Texted the kids this morning to tell them I was going to see the monks walk for peace if they wanted to come. Later, daughter texted "Oh! I stand with them!" I wrote back. "No you didn't. You stayed in bed for them"
January 24, 2026 at 6:27 PM
Texted the kids this morning to tell them I was going to see the monks walk for peace if they wanted to come. Later, daughter texted "Oh! I stand with them!" I wrote back. "No you didn't. You stayed in bed for them"
Work asked for volunteers to get snowed in and work double & triples do no one has to drive this weekend. Texted wife to tell her I signed up
January 22, 2026 at 11:25 PM
Work asked for volunteers to get snowed in and work double & triples do no one has to drive this weekend. Texted wife to tell her I signed up
I hate football. Also shut up
January 18, 2026 at 1:15 AM
I hate football. Also shut up
Me: “you know how a year to a person is like 7 years to a dog?”
Me (doing our dog’s voice): yes. Is one of us supposed to be the dog in this scenario? Who is the dog?
Me: you are
Me (dog voice) I am the dog? I am the dog?
Wife: “stop doing When Harry Met Sally with the dog”
Me (doing our dog’s voice): yes. Is one of us supposed to be the dog in this scenario? Who is the dog?
Me: you are
Me (dog voice) I am the dog? I am the dog?
Wife: “stop doing When Harry Met Sally with the dog”
January 16, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Me: “you know how a year to a person is like 7 years to a dog?”
Me (doing our dog’s voice): yes. Is one of us supposed to be the dog in this scenario? Who is the dog?
Me: you are
Me (dog voice) I am the dog? I am the dog?
Wife: “stop doing When Harry Met Sally with the dog”
Me (doing our dog’s voice): yes. Is one of us supposed to be the dog in this scenario? Who is the dog?
Me: you are
Me (dog voice) I am the dog? I am the dog?
Wife: “stop doing When Harry Met Sally with the dog”
1980 Lake Placid was the last Olympics where the mascots weren’t unspeakably bad
It’s almost Olympics time! Say hello to Tina and Milo, the mascots of the 2026 Winter Olympiad.
In my mind, they sound like valley kids “OH MY GOD LIKE SO NICE TO MEET YOU”
In my mind, they sound like valley kids “OH MY GOD LIKE SO NICE TO MEET YOU”
January 16, 2026 at 3:23 AM
1980 Lake Placid was the last Olympics where the mascots weren’t unspeakably bad
Daughter lives in NYC. I asked her if she was going
*long pause
“How did you find out about that?”
*long pause
“How did you find out about that?”
January 16, 2026 at 12:11 AM
Daughter lives in NYC. I asked her if she was going
*long pause
“How did you find out about that?”
*long pause
“How did you find out about that?”
Me, trying to change something on computer. "OK. We sent a code to your phone. Download a verifier app & enter the code, then we'll send you a link"
Me, accidentally clicking somewhere. "OK. We changed your color scheme to black on black background & translated everything to Swedish"
Me, accidentally clicking somewhere. "OK. We changed your color scheme to black on black background & translated everything to Swedish"
January 15, 2026 at 3:55 PM
Me, trying to change something on computer. "OK. We sent a code to your phone. Download a verifier app & enter the code, then we'll send you a link"
Me, accidentally clicking somewhere. "OK. We changed your color scheme to black on black background & translated everything to Swedish"
Me, accidentally clicking somewhere. "OK. We changed your color scheme to black on black background & translated everything to Swedish"
ESPN analyst prep notes:
"Q: Do they need a three?
A: No"
"Q: Do they need a three?
A: No"
January 15, 2026 at 4:17 AM
ESPN analyst prep notes:
"Q: Do they need a three?
A: No"
"Q: Do they need a three?
A: No"
Detroit announcer: “Carolina upset about something. Not sure what they’re upset about”
January 13, 2026 at 3:16 AM
Detroit announcer: “Carolina upset about something. Not sure what they’re upset about”
Remember when Robert Kraft gave Vladimir Putin a Super Bowl ring?
January 12, 2026 at 1:29 AM
Remember when Robert Kraft gave Vladimir Putin a Super Bowl ring?
Drake Maye completes a pass & Cris Collinsworth compared it to “a hallmark movie”. Yes, what a sweet story, and he completed the pass to (checks notes) Stefon Diggs
January 12, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Drake Maye completes a pass & Cris Collinsworth compared it to “a hallmark movie”. Yes, what a sweet story, and he completed the pass to (checks notes) Stefon Diggs
There are cool on ice/floor graphics, and then there’s the Montréal Canadiens, on their own tier
January 10, 2026 at 10:47 PM
There are cool on ice/floor graphics, and then there’s the Montréal Canadiens, on their own tier
If cam had just studied the playbook more instead of hitting that drum…
January 10, 2026 at 10:19 PM
If cam had just studied the playbook more instead of hitting that drum…
This is why Group of NFC South teams shouldn’t get an automatic bid
January 10, 2026 at 10:17 PM
This is why Group of NFC South teams shouldn’t get an automatic bid
Playing with AI girlfriend software for a story idea. This is exhausting.
“Where is your peaceful place? The place you go to get away, to feel complete serenity and tranquility?”
I don’t know. I hated these questions when I was dating humans
“Where is your peaceful place? The place you go to get away, to feel complete serenity and tranquility?”
I don’t know. I hated these questions when I was dating humans
January 10, 2026 at 6:05 PM
Playing with AI girlfriend software for a story idea. This is exhausting.
“Where is your peaceful place? The place you go to get away, to feel complete serenity and tranquility?”
I don’t know. I hated these questions when I was dating humans
“Where is your peaceful place? The place you go to get away, to feel complete serenity and tranquility?”
I don’t know. I hated these questions when I was dating humans
Pbp announcer: Detroit ranks 30th out of 32 teams in first period goals
Analyst: that’s because they get off to slow starts and often fall behind
I don’t think you grasp how “because” works
Analyst: that’s because they get off to slow starts and often fall behind
I don’t think you grasp how “because” works
January 9, 2026 at 12:31 AM
Pbp announcer: Detroit ranks 30th out of 32 teams in first period goals
Analyst: that’s because they get off to slow starts and often fall behind
I don’t think you grasp how “because” works
Analyst: that’s because they get off to slow starts and often fall behind
I don’t think you grasp how “because” works
Stopped to get coffee & guy approaches me in parking lot. “Excuse me, sir”
I decided “I’ll go ahead & buy this guy breakfast.”
Me: “what’s up?”
Guy: “sorry to bother you but do you know who your internet provider is?”
Me: “ew. You’re a marketing guy? Get away from me before I call the cops”
I decided “I’ll go ahead & buy this guy breakfast.”
Me: “what’s up?”
Guy: “sorry to bother you but do you know who your internet provider is?”
Me: “ew. You’re a marketing guy? Get away from me before I call the cops”
January 7, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Stopped to get coffee & guy approaches me in parking lot. “Excuse me, sir”
I decided “I’ll go ahead & buy this guy breakfast.”
Me: “what’s up?”
Guy: “sorry to bother you but do you know who your internet provider is?”
Me: “ew. You’re a marketing guy? Get away from me before I call the cops”
I decided “I’ll go ahead & buy this guy breakfast.”
Me: “what’s up?”
Guy: “sorry to bother you but do you know who your internet provider is?”
Me: “ew. You’re a marketing guy? Get away from me before I call the cops”