Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
@semperbufo.bsky.social
Son of Dangerous Cliff; Hal's little brother; Bazooka Girl's guy; Potato Pup's human; Monkey's dad. (In chronological order.)
Esoteric outsider touring reality. All pronouns welcome (including yours!).
#actor #author 💙📚 #artist #tech linktr.ee/semperbufo
Esoteric outsider touring reality. All pronouns welcome (including yours!).
#actor #author 💙📚 #artist #tech linktr.ee/semperbufo
My son, playing with his spaceship: "Can we go this way, Daddy?"
Me: "Sure!"
Him: "It's a good way."
Me: "Yeah, definitely!"
Him: "It's a good planet. It's not Mars!"
Whoa. Sick burn on Mars, kid.
Me: "Sure!"
Him: "It's a good way."
Me: "Yeah, definitely!"
Him: "It's a good planet. It's not Mars!"
Whoa. Sick burn on Mars, kid.
December 31, 2025 at 4:21 PM
My son, playing with his spaceship: "Can we go this way, Daddy?"
Me: "Sure!"
Him: "It's a good way."
Me: "Yeah, definitely!"
Him: "It's a good planet. It's not Mars!"
Whoa. Sick burn on Mars, kid.
Me: "Sure!"
Him: "It's a good way."
Me: "Yeah, definitely!"
Him: "It's a good planet. It's not Mars!"
Whoa. Sick burn on Mars, kid.
Look, I am a FIEND for the 80s (in particular) and 70s and 90s (less so), because I was a KID who abso-fucking-lutely had a BLAST with my friends creating and consuming the goofy shit we loved.
I am *not* fooled into thinking that, outside of our sheltered existence, the world was Good, Actually.
I am *not* fooled into thinking that, outside of our sheltered existence, the world was Good, Actually.
My nostalgia for the time—as with my nostalgia for 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨—has zero to do with what "everyone" remembers or liked or hated or whatever.
It's about who I was with, what we were doing, why, where, and when. I had a goddamn blast.
It's about who I was with, what we were doing, why, where, and when. I had a goddamn blast.
December 30, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Look, I am a FIEND for the 80s (in particular) and 70s and 90s (less so), because I was a KID who abso-fucking-lutely had a BLAST with my friends creating and consuming the goofy shit we loved.
I am *not* fooled into thinking that, outside of our sheltered existence, the world was Good, Actually.
I am *not* fooled into thinking that, outside of our sheltered existence, the world was Good, Actually.
Today's King Dipshit insisting a 1991 kids movie represents the height of comfort, moral clarity, and economic security was clearly born in 1985 and saw it as a six-year-old.
December 30, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Today's King Dipshit insisting a 1991 kids movie represents the height of comfort, moral clarity, and economic security was clearly born in 1985 and saw it as a six-year-old.
[This was inspired by my 3yo's awesome mondegreen of a certain popular Xmas song…]
She's a single mother.
She's an officer of the law.
She's
a
waterfowl.
🦆🚔🐣
"POLICE MOMMY DUCK"
Streaming in 2026
New Episodes Wednesdays!
She's a single mother.
She's an officer of the law.
She's
a
waterfowl.
🦆🚔🐣
"POLICE MOMMY DUCK"
Streaming in 2026
New Episodes Wednesdays!
December 30, 2025 at 3:32 AM
[This was inspired by my 3yo's awesome mondegreen of a certain popular Xmas song…]
She's a single mother.
She's an officer of the law.
She's
a
waterfowl.
🦆🚔🐣
"POLICE MOMMY DUCK"
Streaming in 2026
New Episodes Wednesdays!
She's a single mother.
She's an officer of the law.
She's
a
waterfowl.
🦆🚔🐣
"POLICE MOMMY DUCK"
Streaming in 2026
New Episodes Wednesdays!
"If you're cold, they're cold."
December 30, 2025 at 3:13 AM
"If you're cold, they're cold."
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
Saw a brief "cishet white guy humor JFC WTF 🤦" and it reminded me of probably one of my favorite sketch comedy bits that I was ever part of, which was improvised by my friend Doug on the spot because it was obviously going to play way better than the scripted version. 1/17
December 9, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Saw a brief "cishet white guy humor JFC WTF 🤦" and it reminded me of probably one of my favorite sketch comedy bits that I was ever part of, which was improvised by my friend Doug on the spot because it was obviously going to play way better than the scripted version. 1/17
My mom: "Has he [our THREE-year-old] seen Home Alone? Macaulay Culkin said in an interview his kids love it! And not because he's in it!"
Me: "…do…do you know how VIOLENT that movie is?"
Mom: "Oh, like WHAT? I don't remember anything too bad…"
Me: 😐
Home Alone:
Me: "…do…do you know how VIOLENT that movie is?"
Mom: "Oh, like WHAT? I don't remember anything too bad…"
Me: 😐
Home Alone:
Home Alone 1-5 Painful Moments
YouTube video by DavidTorto
www.youtube.com
December 29, 2025 at 11:43 PM
My mom: "Has he [our THREE-year-old] seen Home Alone? Macaulay Culkin said in an interview his kids love it! And not because he's in it!"
Me: "…do…do you know how VIOLENT that movie is?"
Mom: "Oh, like WHAT? I don't remember anything too bad…"
Me: 😐
Home Alone:
Me: "…do…do you know how VIOLENT that movie is?"
Mom: "Oh, like WHAT? I don't remember anything too bad…"
Me: 😐
Home Alone:
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
This is a photo of the surface of an asteroid
It was taken from the *surface*I of that asteroid
By a *bouncing rover* the size of a lunchbox
(1/2)
It was taken from the *surface*I of that asteroid
By a *bouncing rover* the size of a lunchbox
(1/2)
December 29, 2025 at 10:36 PM
This is a photo of the surface of an asteroid
It was taken from the *surface*I of that asteroid
By a *bouncing rover* the size of a lunchbox
(1/2)
It was taken from the *surface*I of that asteroid
By a *bouncing rover* the size of a lunchbox
(1/2)
"The lobsters, which WERE NOT ALIVE, no matter what wild hypotheses you originally tossed off after seeing the headline…"
Ah, editors were in B4 internet conspiracy theorists, I see.
Ah, editors were in B4 internet conspiracy theorists, I see.
December 29, 2025 at 11:23 PM
"The lobsters, which WERE NOT ALIVE, no matter what wild hypotheses you originally tossed off after seeing the headline…"
Ah, editors were in B4 internet conspiracy theorists, I see.
Ah, editors were in B4 internet conspiracy theorists, I see.
On the one hand, it's really nice that four sets of neighbors are constantly eager and available to help out, e.g., with multiple space heaters when our heat broke down tonight (after a major snowstorm).
On the other, is it some cult waiting for our son to reach a certain age so they can…um…? 🤔
On the other, is it some cult waiting for our son to reach a certain age so they can…um…? 🤔
December 28, 2025 at 3:19 AM
On the one hand, it's really nice that four sets of neighbors are constantly eager and available to help out, e.g., with multiple space heaters when our heat broke down tonight (after a major snowstorm).
On the other, is it some cult waiting for our son to reach a certain age so they can…um…? 🤔
On the other, is it some cult waiting for our son to reach a certain age so they can…um…? 🤔
Like I said 10 months ago (coincidentally ALSO in response to Kennedy Center news), the dips like to pretend they want everyone to just Fear them, but they're always blatantly goddamn pathetically desperate for Respect and Love.
And will never get those. Because that ain't how it's done.
And will never get those. Because that ain't how it's done.
“it is illegal for you not to like me”
This is the logical and inevitable conclusion of the last decade of elite media "free speech" discourse.
December 28, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Like I said 10 months ago (coincidentally ALSO in response to Kennedy Center news), the dips like to pretend they want everyone to just Fear them, but they're always blatantly goddamn pathetically desperate for Respect and Love.
And will never get those. Because that ain't how it's done.
And will never get those. Because that ain't how it's done.
The only trickle-down theory worth a damn:
Lots of things to fix out there but a decent argument that a real fix (if such a thing existed) for what can reasonably be called “elite impunity” would cascade out fixes for like 90 percent of the rest of it
December 28, 2025 at 2:25 AM
The only trickle-down theory worth a damn:
Clever bit in our bedtime story the other night: Sniffly (protagonist of the ongoing stories) discovered that the reason WHY you need to be asleep when Santa comes is because the force field around Santa's sleigh stays on if any kids are awake or looking at it, so he can't even get the presents out.
December 25, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Clever bit in our bedtime story the other night: Sniffly (protagonist of the ongoing stories) discovered that the reason WHY you need to be asleep when Santa comes is because the force field around Santa's sleigh stays on if any kids are awake or looking at it, so he can't even get the presents out.
Andy Rooney voice: "Didja ever notice…"
Can you imagine spending your entire career working towards the goal of being a 60 minutes correspondent than watching the show trashed in one day (well, ever since it was co-opted by Weiss)?
And it’s not like there are comparable jobs anymore. It’s a wasteland out there.
And it’s not like there are comparable jobs anymore. It’s a wasteland out there.
December 23, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Andy Rooney voice: "Didja ever notice…"
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
GOP: "Clinton too! Ha ha ha!"
The youngs: "Ha, they think we give a shit if Clinton goes down too, what [insert creative expletive used by the youngs today, I don't fucking know, I'm old]."
The olds: "Uh, yeah, no shit, we were there when he was doing fucked up shit, fuck that guy, fuck 'im hard."
The youngs: "Ha, they think we give a shit if Clinton goes down too, what [insert creative expletive used by the youngs today, I don't fucking know, I'm old]."
The olds: "Uh, yeah, no shit, we were there when he was doing fucked up shit, fuck that guy, fuck 'im hard."
July 25, 2025 at 2:13 AM
GOP: "Clinton too! Ha ha ha!"
The youngs: "Ha, they think we give a shit if Clinton goes down too, what [insert creative expletive used by the youngs today, I don't fucking know, I'm old]."
The olds: "Uh, yeah, no shit, we were there when he was doing fucked up shit, fuck that guy, fuck 'im hard."
The youngs: "Ha, they think we give a shit if Clinton goes down too, what [insert creative expletive used by the youngs today, I don't fucking know, I'm old]."
The olds: "Uh, yeah, no shit, we were there when he was doing fucked up shit, fuck that guy, fuck 'im hard."
"Hey, Vin, could we do just ONE MORE take, and could you enunciate a little more this time?"
(Saw this license plate in the neighborhood and this was the first thing that came to mind. Bear in mind that I've probably seen less than 120 seconds total of the entire Fast & Furious franchise.)
(Saw this license plate in the neighborhood and this was the first thing that came to mind. Bear in mind that I've probably seen less than 120 seconds total of the entire Fast & Furious franchise.)
December 23, 2025 at 3:25 AM
"Hey, Vin, could we do just ONE MORE take, and could you enunciate a little more this time?"
(Saw this license plate in the neighborhood and this was the first thing that came to mind. Bear in mind that I've probably seen less than 120 seconds total of the entire Fast & Furious franchise.)
(Saw this license plate in the neighborhood and this was the first thing that came to mind. Bear in mind that I've probably seen less than 120 seconds total of the entire Fast & Furious franchise.)
School crossing guards (we always chat when I'm dropping off my son or walking the dog) mentioned that there was dangerous ice on the sidewalk, then our city council member-elect walked by and they asked if he could help; one phone call later, public works was shoveling/salting.
Hell yeah, Jake.
Hell yeah, Jake.
Congratulations to the whole progressive slate that BLEW OUT the opposition here in Jersey City, including our new mayor and our new city council member (hell yeah Jake!).
And also congratulations to the lady who told off McGreevey's sleazy guy outside the polling center (our son's school) today. 🤘
And also congratulations to the lady who told off McGreevey's sleazy guy outside the polling center (our son's school) today. 🤘
December 20, 2025 at 7:52 AM
School crossing guards (we always chat when I'm dropping off my son or walking the dog) mentioned that there was dangerous ice on the sidewalk, then our city council member-elect walked by and they asked if he could help; one phone call later, public works was shoveling/salting.
Hell yeah, Jake.
Hell yeah, Jake.
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
Did I just affirmatively compare myself to Galileo?
Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I'm that good a writer. Maybe I'm a goddamn astronomical genius with prose. You didn't read my stuff. You don't know.
Buy a book or two that I wrote and have an informed opinion.
🤪
Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I'm that good a writer. Maybe I'm a goddamn astronomical genius with prose. You didn't read my stuff. You don't know.
Buy a book or two that I wrote and have an informed opinion.
🤪
Geoph Essex's “Silhouette” Novels all over the Web!
Preview and buy Geoph Essex's “Silhouette” Novels online in print and ebook formats.
sbufo.com
December 3, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Did I just affirmatively compare myself to Galileo?
Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I'm that good a writer. Maybe I'm a goddamn astronomical genius with prose. You didn't read my stuff. You don't know.
Buy a book or two that I wrote and have an informed opinion.
🤪
Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I'm that good a writer. Maybe I'm a goddamn astronomical genius with prose. You didn't read my stuff. You don't know.
Buy a book or two that I wrote and have an informed opinion.
🤪
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
There are some songs that you'd normally never give the time of day and seem like the kinda thing your mom would hum along to while she was grading papers but because they hit the charts RIGHT when you were going through a messy teen relationship they have a goddamn iron grip on your heartstrings.
December 8, 2025 at 2:11 AM
There are some songs that you'd normally never give the time of day and seem like the kinda thing your mom would hum along to while she was grading papers but because they hit the charts RIGHT when you were going through a messy teen relationship they have a goddamn iron grip on your heartstrings.
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
Years ago, Bazooka Girl grinched that most Xmas songs are repetitive and monotonous. As much as I love my Xmas playlist, she had a point, so I mixed this up special just for her. 😁
Feliz Navidad, everybody…! 🎄
(Listen to at least 30 seconds to get the idea…yeah, it's the whole song length.)
Feliz Navidad, everybody…! 🎄
(Listen to at least 30 seconds to get the idea…yeah, it's the whole song length.)
December 8, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Years ago, Bazooka Girl grinched that most Xmas songs are repetitive and monotonous. As much as I love my Xmas playlist, she had a point, so I mixed this up special just for her. 😁
Feliz Navidad, everybody…! 🎄
(Listen to at least 30 seconds to get the idea…yeah, it's the whole song length.)
Feliz Navidad, everybody…! 🎄
(Listen to at least 30 seconds to get the idea…yeah, it's the whole song length.)
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
The Smashwords End of Year Sale 2025 is on!
From now until the New Year, #LovelyAssistant🎩 and #JackrabbitMessiah🐰 will both be 50% off for the #Holidays! 🎄🕎
For more INFO, visit SilhouetteUniverse.com 👤
To BUY 'em, follow the LINK BELOW… 👇
#EoYSale25 #Smashwords #books2read
#sale #BookSky 💙📚
From now until the New Year, #LovelyAssistant🎩 and #JackrabbitMessiah🐰 will both be 50% off for the #Holidays! 🎄🕎
For more INFO, visit SilhouetteUniverse.com 👤
To BUY 'em, follow the LINK BELOW… 👇
#EoYSale25 #Smashwords #books2read
#sale #BookSky 💙📚
Geoph Essex's Novels on Smashwords
Buy Geoph Essex's “Silhouette” Novels through Smashwords.
sbufo.com
December 8, 2025 at 3:37 PM
The Smashwords End of Year Sale 2025 is on!
From now until the New Year, #LovelyAssistant🎩 and #JackrabbitMessiah🐰 will both be 50% off for the #Holidays! 🎄🕎
For more INFO, visit SilhouetteUniverse.com 👤
To BUY 'em, follow the LINK BELOW… 👇
#EoYSale25 #Smashwords #books2read
#sale #BookSky 💙📚
From now until the New Year, #LovelyAssistant🎩 and #JackrabbitMessiah🐰 will both be 50% off for the #Holidays! 🎄🕎
For more INFO, visit SilhouetteUniverse.com 👤
To BUY 'em, follow the LINK BELOW… 👇
#EoYSale25 #Smashwords #books2read
#sale #BookSky 💙📚
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
Wait a minute…is "revenge" just…gazpacho?
December 14, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Wait a minute…is "revenge" just…gazpacho?
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
"Why aren't you freaking out about [X]?!?!??!!!!"
Because it's my job to not freak out about it right now.
"Really, who hired you?!?!?"
I did.
"Oh, so what do you pay yourself in??!!?!!"
An ever more exceedingly tenuous grip on reality, sanity, and calm.
Because it's my job to not freak out about it right now.
"Really, who hired you?!?!?"
I did.
"Oh, so what do you pay yourself in??!!?!!"
An ever more exceedingly tenuous grip on reality, sanity, and calm.
December 18, 2025 at 3:14 AM
"Why aren't you freaking out about [X]?!?!??!!!!"
Because it's my job to not freak out about it right now.
"Really, who hired you?!?!?"
I did.
"Oh, so what do you pay yourself in??!!?!!"
An ever more exceedingly tenuous grip on reality, sanity, and calm.
Because it's my job to not freak out about it right now.
"Really, who hired you?!?!?"
I did.
"Oh, so what do you pay yourself in??!!?!!"
An ever more exceedingly tenuous grip on reality, sanity, and calm.
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
Jack Smith: "We've investigated thoroughly for quite a while and we have absolute proof he's a criminal doing crimes."
Me (but in 1989, when I was 14 years old and most of my exposure to the criminal in question was through pop culture references like Bloom County):
Me (but in 1989, when I was 14 years old and most of my exposure to the criminal in question was through pop culture references like Bloom County):
December 18, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Jack Smith: "We've investigated thoroughly for quite a while and we have absolute proof he's a criminal doing crimes."
Me (but in 1989, when I was 14 years old and most of my exposure to the criminal in question was through pop culture references like Bloom County):
Me (but in 1989, when I was 14 years old and most of my exposure to the criminal in question was through pop culture references like Bloom County):
Reposted by Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟
Naming your show "Things That Matter" makes me automatically assume it's going to have scripted AND unscripted stuff exactly like this:
December 18, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Naming your show "Things That Matter" makes me automatically assume it's going to have scripted AND unscripted stuff exactly like this: