david schlenkmastide
@schlazor.bsky.social
❤️ insured motorist 🧡 grocery getter 💛 trash animal 💚 poorly gardener 💙 touch typist 💜
Pinned
fellas, you can take selfies with baked goods instead of dead animals if you want to
Find me at the
December 27, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Find me at the
The crows are out
December 26, 2025 at 5:53 PM
The crows are out
best hamperks in the hamport
cc @cordiallycourtney.bsky.social
cc @cordiallycourtney.bsky.social
I've been thinking about this sign for 6 months. a phrase I'll treasure forever. a metaphor with boundless potential
December 26, 2025 at 5:37 PM
best hamperks in the hamport
cc @cordiallycourtney.bsky.social
cc @cordiallycourtney.bsky.social
By now you’re ranking the cookies. Gingerbread is basically health food. There’s a lot of protein in peanut brittle
December 26, 2025 at 3:55 AM
By now you’re ranking the cookies. Gingerbread is basically health food. There’s a lot of protein in peanut brittle
Gave my wife a vacuum for Christmas
December 25, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Gave my wife a vacuum for Christmas
Waiting for this coffee to brew is like how the world waited for a Savior to be born
December 25, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Waiting for this coffee to brew is like how the world waited for a Savior to be born
remember the reason for the season: jeses crayst
December 25, 2025 at 5:19 AM
remember the reason for the season: jeses crayst
Stockings stuffered
December 25, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Stockings stuffered
Santa Clause is coming
Hear the banjo strumming
Hear the banjo strumming
December 24, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Santa Clause is coming
Hear the banjo strumming
Hear the banjo strumming
Reposted by david schlenkmastide
Ever drink water? Fantastic stuff
October 19, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Ever drink water? Fantastic stuff
Nose is dripping. Great
December 24, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Nose is dripping. Great
I miss having the high beam toggle on the floor. It was so satisfying.
December 24, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I miss having the high beam toggle on the floor. It was so satisfying.
Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days I’m going to kick this piece of shit out the window
December 23, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days I’m going to kick this piece of shit out the window
calling today Christmas Steve
December 23, 2025 at 3:07 PM
calling today Christmas Steve
strip wrapping presents. It’s not a game it’s just what happens as I get increasingly distraught and sweaty
December 23, 2025 at 3:04 AM
strip wrapping presents. It’s not a game it’s just what happens as I get increasingly distraught and sweaty
hot dog bowls are traditional for Christmas Eve, yes?
December 23, 2025 at 1:58 AM
hot dog bowls are traditional for Christmas Eve, yes?
I don’t think there should be a licensure requirement for self checkout necessarily but I do think you should get a discount if you finish your transaction in under a minute
December 22, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I don’t think there should be a licensure requirement for self checkout necessarily but I do think you should get a discount if you finish your transaction in under a minute
Gingerbread, chocolate crinkles, and corn flake wreaths today. Just gotta ice the gingerbread and I’m DONE
December 22, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Gingerbread, chocolate crinkles, and corn flake wreaths today. Just gotta ice the gingerbread and I’m DONE
I’m the Christmas Unicorn
December 21, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I’m the Christmas Unicorn
Every lectionary church’s sermon today
December 21, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Every lectionary church’s sermon today
A travel mug is just a mug that travels
December 21, 2025 at 5:16 PM
A travel mug is just a mug that travels
Where am I supposed to put all of this (I am bragging)
December 21, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Where am I supposed to put all of this (I am bragging)
Truly, what was McDonald’s trying to do with the holiday pie? looks like throw up!
December 20, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Truly, what was McDonald’s trying to do with the holiday pie? looks like throw up!
Peanut brittle 👍
December 20, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Peanut brittle 👍