River Oaks Problems
@riveroaksproblems.bsky.social
I once got busy in a Rienzi bathroom.
Which douchebag PI firm did this?
I saw something pretty gross before I got to work today. Some law firm has a fleet of those ugly “trucks,” and they were in some kind of mini convoy.
August 3, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Which douchebag PI firm did this?
Reposted by River Oaks Problems
Media came down on Mamdani like a ton of bricks for a phrase he literally never once said. Trump says a slur on stage on camera and they twist themselves in pretzels like this. If this is what journalism is, I welcome its death
July 4, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Media came down on Mamdani like a ton of bricks for a phrase he literally never once said. Trump says a slur on stage on camera and they twist themselves in pretzels like this. If this is what journalism is, I welcome its death
Can we paint a bullseye on Kansas fast enough?
It's cutting through the solar system at over 200,000 mph.
Something rare and fast is speeding through our solar system
It's cutting through the solar system at over 200,000 mph.
bit.ly
July 4, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Can we paint a bullseye on Kansas fast enough?
The Khyber sign parodies will also return, we hope.
After shutting down in the pandemic, a former staple is coming back.
Pappas Restaurants is reviving this beloved restaurant in 2025
After shutting down in the pandemic, a former staple is coming back.
bit.ly
June 20, 2025 at 12:43 PM
The Khyber sign parodies will also return, we hope.
Apparently he said this right after doing his Andy Kaufman / Mighty Mouse bit?
KP George said the Democratic Party "has embraced a corrupt and radical ideology."
Another Texas leader changes political parties after controversy
KP George said the Democratic Party "has embraced a corrupt and radical ideology."
bit.ly
June 19, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Apparently he said this right after doing his Andy Kaufman / Mighty Mouse bit?
Reposted by River Oaks Problems
as a centrist i just want a mayor who sexually harassed 5.5 women
June 10, 2025 at 5:40 PM
as a centrist i just want a mayor who sexually harassed 5.5 women
Coming on here from Twitter is like leaving the dive casino to make sure the kids are ok up in the room with the nanny.
You all good? More juice and goldfish? Enjoying Wild Kratz? Hm?
Dinner is at 7 kids.
You all good? More juice and goldfish? Enjoying Wild Kratz? Hm?
Dinner is at 7 kids.
June 6, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Coming on here from Twitter is like leaving the dive casino to make sure the kids are ok up in the room with the nanny.
You all good? More juice and goldfish? Enjoying Wild Kratz? Hm?
Dinner is at 7 kids.
You all good? More juice and goldfish? Enjoying Wild Kratz? Hm?
Dinner is at 7 kids.
“We’re going to take Jellystone and make a big beautiful park, we’re going to take it away from the bears. They’ve got bears. Bad bears. Yogi. Bad Bear. Bad dude. Booboo. Not sure about Booboo. Bad bear. Stealing baskets. Ranger Smith. Good guy. Friend of mine. He tells me they’re sneaking fentany…”
Texas national parks face an uncertain future under Trump's proposed cuts
www.chron.com/life/wildlif...
www.chron.com/life/wildlif...
New budget cuts could hit Texas national parks hard
Texas national parks face an uncertain future under a proposed $1 billion budget cut to the National Park Service.
www.chron.com
May 10, 2025 at 1:42 AM
“We’re going to take Jellystone and make a big beautiful park, we’re going to take it away from the bears. They’ve got bears. Bad bears. Yogi. Bad Bear. Bad dude. Booboo. Not sure about Booboo. Bad bear. Stealing baskets. Ranger Smith. Good guy. Friend of mine. He tells me they’re sneaking fentany…”
Reposted by River Oaks Problems
Linda McMahon, Secretary of Education, sent Harvard a letter.
They graded it.
Bwahahaha.
They graded it.
Bwahahaha.
May 7, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Linda McMahon, Secretary of Education, sent Harvard a letter.
They graded it.
Bwahahaha.
They graded it.
Bwahahaha.
This is pretty much what Mrs. ROP told me before I proposed.
“When it comes to .. raw milk, I want to be free to form a relationship with a local farmer, look him in the eyes, pet his cow, and then decide if I feel safe to drink the milk from his farm.”
— Casey Means, Trump’s latest surgeon-general nominee.
www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
— Casey Means, Trump’s latest surgeon-general nominee.
www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
Trump Picks a ‘MAHA’ Movement Leader for Surgeon General
The president said he would nominate Dr. Casey Means, a California doctor and wellness influencer, to be the next surgeon general.
www.wsj.com
May 8, 2025 at 2:29 AM
This is pretty much what Mrs. ROP told me before I proposed.
Currently trying to process why people call, leave a voice mail, and then text to tell you they called in a two minute span.
And how to jettison those persons into a black hole.
And how to jettison those persons into a black hole.
@riveroaksproblems.bsky.social post here more
April 29, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Currently trying to process why people call, leave a voice mail, and then text to tell you they called in a two minute span.
And how to jettison those persons into a black hole.
And how to jettison those persons into a black hole.
Reposted by River Oaks Problems
Wow. This is the full document submitted by Rubio against Mr. Khalil invoking INA 237(a)(4)(C).
The standard in immigration court is extremely deferential; a judge must accept this so long as it is “facially reasonable and bona fide.” But this is so threadbare that it might not even satisfy that.
The standard in immigration court is extremely deferential; a judge must accept this so long as it is “facially reasonable and bona fide.” But this is so threadbare that it might not even satisfy that.
April 10, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Wow. This is the full document submitted by Rubio against Mr. Khalil invoking INA 237(a)(4)(C).
The standard in immigration court is extremely deferential; a judge must accept this so long as it is “facially reasonable and bona fide.” But this is so threadbare that it might not even satisfy that.
The standard in immigration court is extremely deferential; a judge must accept this so long as it is “facially reasonable and bona fide.” But this is so threadbare that it might not even satisfy that.
Anything by Sugar Ray, Creed, Nickelback, that “Toy Soldiers” song by one of those 80’s tweens, uh, most anything by Shaggy, stuff by that Foster asshole that ruined Chicago, hmm…it’s a lot.
That “So Good” song by Van Haggar might be the fucking worst, tho.
That “So Good” song by Van Haggar might be the fucking worst, tho.
Fuck your favourite song. Tell me your least favourite song. The one that makes you die inside the moment you hear the first 3 seconds.
March 31, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Anything by Sugar Ray, Creed, Nickelback, that “Toy Soldiers” song by one of those 80’s tweens, uh, most anything by Shaggy, stuff by that Foster asshole that ruined Chicago, hmm…it’s a lot.
That “So Good” song by Van Haggar might be the fucking worst, tho.
That “So Good” song by Van Haggar might be the fucking worst, tho.
Reposted by River Oaks Problems
some helpful reminders:
-not all jews support israel
-criticizing israel is not the same as being antisemitic
-being pro-palestine does not equal being pro-hamas
-arresting someone for being pro-palestine is a violation of the first amendment
-violating someone’s first amendment rights is bad
-not all jews support israel
-criticizing israel is not the same as being antisemitic
-being pro-palestine does not equal being pro-hamas
-arresting someone for being pro-palestine is a violation of the first amendment
-violating someone’s first amendment rights is bad
March 10, 2025 at 6:55 PM
some helpful reminders:
-not all jews support israel
-criticizing israel is not the same as being antisemitic
-being pro-palestine does not equal being pro-hamas
-arresting someone for being pro-palestine is a violation of the first amendment
-violating someone’s first amendment rights is bad
-not all jews support israel
-criticizing israel is not the same as being antisemitic
-being pro-palestine does not equal being pro-hamas
-arresting someone for being pro-palestine is a violation of the first amendment
-violating someone’s first amendment rights is bad
My kid asked to play “Say You Say Me” by Lionel Richie tonight.
Surprised, I asked where she heard that song. She said a movie.
“When have you ever seen ‘White Nights?!?!’l
“No, it was in ‘Rio’. What’s ’White Nights’?”
It went downhill from there. I actually had Cold War nostalgia.
Surprised, I asked where she heard that song. She said a movie.
“When have you ever seen ‘White Nights?!?!’l
“No, it was in ‘Rio’. What’s ’White Nights’?”
It went downhill from there. I actually had Cold War nostalgia.
February 19, 2025 at 2:49 AM
My kid asked to play “Say You Say Me” by Lionel Richie tonight.
Surprised, I asked where she heard that song. She said a movie.
“When have you ever seen ‘White Nights?!?!’l
“No, it was in ‘Rio’. What’s ’White Nights’?”
It went downhill from there. I actually had Cold War nostalgia.
Surprised, I asked where she heard that song. She said a movie.
“When have you ever seen ‘White Nights?!?!’l
“No, it was in ‘Rio’. What’s ’White Nights’?”
It went downhill from there. I actually had Cold War nostalgia.
I can’t tell what’s a better gig. Sports commentator, pollster or this shit for brains.
Being consistently wrong and yet waking up thinking you shit rainbow pez. And people pay you. What a life.
Being consistently wrong and yet waking up thinking you shit rainbow pez. And people pay you. What a life.
Houston ISD Superintendent Mike Miles said HISD made a "good faith error" when it failed to get board approval for $870 million in purchases.
www.chron.com/news/houston...
www.chron.com/news/houston...
Mike Miles admits HISD spent $870 million without proper approvals
Houston ISD Superintendent Mike Miles said HISD made a "good faith error" when it failed to get board approval for $870 million in purchases.
www.chron.com
January 14, 2025 at 3:48 AM
I can’t tell what’s a better gig. Sports commentator, pollster or this shit for brains.
Being consistently wrong and yet waking up thinking you shit rainbow pez. And people pay you. What a life.
Being consistently wrong and yet waking up thinking you shit rainbow pez. And people pay you. What a life.
Reposted by River Oaks Problems
Filipino fast food chain Jollibee was seen serving free food to people that have been affected by the LA wildfires. Love this.
January 13, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Filipino fast food chain Jollibee was seen serving free food to people that have been affected by the LA wildfires. Love this.
How’s the UT game going you ask?
a cartoon of grimlock saying uh me grim lock not care
ALT: a cartoon of grimlock saying uh me grim lock not care
media.tenor.com
January 11, 2025 at 1:51 AM
How’s the UT game going you ask?
Because we have the worst sports fans in the country.
The Rockets are really, really good this season. Why doesn't Houston seem to care?
www.chron.com/culture/arti...
www.chron.com/culture/arti...
The Houston Rockets are among the NBA's best. Where's the excitement?
The Rockets are among the league's best teams but excitement from the city of Houston is still lacking.
www.chron.com
January 8, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Because we have the worst sports fans in the country.
TDIL: Pythons are shitty drivers. (TLDR)
Multiple ball pythons were found during a traffic arrest that Harris County deputies called "not your typical traffic stop."
www.chron.com/life/wildlif...
www.chron.com/life/wildlif...
Multiple pythons found during weird traffic arrest near Houston
Harris County deputies discover three ball pythons in the backseat of a car during a recent traffic stop.
www.chron.com
December 30, 2024 at 11:00 PM
TDIL: Pythons are shitty drivers. (TLDR)
Excuse me, it’s not treatment resident depression: it’s called being a sociopath.
Everyone on Bluesky is 46 years old with treatment-resistant depression
December 27, 2024 at 9:52 PM
Excuse me, it’s not treatment resident depression: it’s called being a sociopath.
I would rather put a piping hot spoon into my eyes and carve them out than sit with most of these people (again) for more than 2 seconds.
Most Fascinating Houston residents of 2024 including Tilman Fertitta, Phoebe Tudor, Tony Buzbee, CJ Stroud, 50 Cent, Ashley Muncie, Things I Bought and Liked.
trib.al/TRaON6P
trib.al/TRaON6P
Meet the 37 most fascinating, controversial and notorious Houstonians of 2024
Most Fascinating Houston residents of 2024 including Tilman Fertitta, Phoebe Tudor, Tony Buzbee, CJ Stroud, 50 Cent, Ashley Muncie, Things I Bought and Liked.
trib.al
December 17, 2024 at 8:44 PM
I would rather put a piping hot spoon into my eyes and carve them out than sit with most of these people (again) for more than 2 seconds.
The Ottoman Empire. Duh.
What ambassadorship does Mattress Mack get?
December 11, 2024 at 2:58 AM
The Ottoman Empire. Duh.
Skynet doesn’t need to build terminators. We’re not worth that effort.
December 10, 2024 at 5:33 PM
Skynet doesn’t need to build terminators. We’re not worth that effort.