Today would have been our 22nd. Feels really appropriate that I spent it in Montana.

I used to believe that people who were bilingual were greater communicators, but mostly they just know how to be wrong in two languages.

Oh, yes. Today is the day my comedy special "Jim Tews With Pictures" is live on YouTube. youtu.be/MIrOEshft5g?...

#booksky

This was my 7-9th grade. Berlin American High School was the best school I ever went to (suck it WePo) and not being able to graduate from there has always been my big reminder of “you can’t always get what you want.”

I struggled with whether I would post this or not because so much of this is precious personal memories that I can’t imagine anyone would care too much about this stuff. But for those that don’t know, I lived in Berlin during the time of falling walls and reunification.

#Booksky

Me when I woke up this morning and realized Moontower was over! What a weekend! What a jam! What a dress! @ianimal69 Cobained his ass off! #moontowercomedy #goddamncomedyjam

My mom proves it every year...her kids are never gonna be too old for an Easter basket. #bestmomever #alwaysherbaby

It’s really messed up that our eyesight dwindles just as the chin hair factory starts ramping up production.

attn: nyc fans of steve whalen mr jokes

Finally got my desk organized the way I want it just in time to get back to doing all my work on the couch

I'm case of emergency, break glass. Like, every piece of glass you see. Smash everything. An emergency is no time to worry about glass.