PorterStoutImperial
@porterstout.bsky.social
Seattle musician, coder, wannabe mixologist and Dad Joke auteur. He/him.
You can tell AI features in things like Gmail are Good and Desirable because they have to drag users into them kicking and screaming, which is always a sure sign of high demand.
January 24, 2026 at 6:09 AM
You can tell AI features in things like Gmail are Good and Desirable because they have to drag users into them kicking and screaming, which is always a sure sign of high demand.
Tuberculosis can be reformed with better training and stricter regulation.
January 22, 2026 at 4:18 PM
Tuberculosis can be reformed with better training and stricter regulation.
The last decade in American politics has been a stark reminder of how swiftly the "don't tread on me" people become "please tread on my enemies" people.
January 22, 2026 at 3:53 PM
The last decade in American politics has been a stark reminder of how swiftly the "don't tread on me" people become "please tread on my enemies" people.
Not that he cares about the comparison, but in this situation where the U.S. is mob boss threatening to take Greenland by force, maybe don't use an argument that puts the U.S. in the same role as Nazi Germany? "They fell to the Third Reich in six hours; we could do it in three, tops!" is a bad look.
Trump: "No nation is in any position to be able to secure Greenland other than the US. We're a great power. Much greater than people even understand. I think they found that out 2 weeks ago in Venezuela. We saw this in World War 2 when Denmark fell to Germany after just 6 hours of fighting."
January 21, 2026 at 3:58 PM
Not that he cares about the comparison, but in this situation where the U.S. is mob boss threatening to take Greenland by force, maybe don't use an argument that puts the U.S. in the same role as Nazi Germany? "They fell to the Third Reich in six hours; we could do it in three, tops!" is a bad look.
Needful person: "Stop being so overly complicated!"
Slow-Witted People Pleaser: *dies*
Slow-Witted People Pleaser: *dies*
January 20, 2026 at 7:24 AM
Needful person: "Stop being so overly complicated!"
Slow-Witted People Pleaser: *dies*
Slow-Witted People Pleaser: *dies*
Help! Once a day I upload a videos of a song from my new album to Facebook, where my mom sees, and then YouTube, where my dad does. Right now both parents think they get to be first to see a new video. I don't want to disappoint either! I think there was an episode of "Frasier" with this basic plot.
January 20, 2026 at 5:45 AM
Help! Once a day I upload a videos of a song from my new album to Facebook, where my mom sees, and then YouTube, where my dad does. Right now both parents think they get to be first to see a new video. I don't want to disappoint either! I think there was an episode of "Frasier" with this basic plot.
Browning is the largest community on the Blackfeet Reservation, which is has the largest Native population of Montana's reservations. Ronan is also on a reservation (the Flathead Reservation). I don't know who owns the Ronan McD's, but this news sure suggests an educated guess...
Browning student-athletes denied service at McDonald's
Many people have contacted KRTV about an incident at the McDonald’s restaurant in the town of Ronan that happened on Thursday, January 15, 2026.
www.krtv.com
January 16, 2026 at 8:23 PM
Browning is the largest community on the Blackfeet Reservation, which is has the largest Native population of Montana's reservations. Ronan is also on a reservation (the Flathead Reservation). I don't know who owns the Ronan McD's, but this news sure suggests an educated guess...
schu·mer up
/ˈʃuːmərˌʌp/
phrasal verb
1. To be so profoundly unfit for a pivotal moment that one's actions are worse than doing nothing at all. 2. To perform a sex act that one insists is pleasurable but their partner would describe as "aliens poking at my body."
see also: jeffries about
/ˈʃuːmərˌʌp/
phrasal verb
1. To be so profoundly unfit for a pivotal moment that one's actions are worse than doing nothing at all. 2. To perform a sex act that one insists is pleasurable but their partner would describe as "aliens poking at my body."
see also: jeffries about
Just got this forwarded. Here are the talking points Schumer's team just emailed out to their allies TODAY - this afternoon.
The words "Minnesota" or "ICE" don't appear anywhere here.
The words "Minnesota" or "ICE" don't appear anywhere here.
January 16, 2026 at 12:03 AM
schu·mer up
/ˈʃuːmərˌʌp/
phrasal verb
1. To be so profoundly unfit for a pivotal moment that one's actions are worse than doing nothing at all. 2. To perform a sex act that one insists is pleasurable but their partner would describe as "aliens poking at my body."
see also: jeffries about
/ˈʃuːmərˌʌp/
phrasal verb
1. To be so profoundly unfit for a pivotal moment that one's actions are worse than doing nothing at all. 2. To perform a sex act that one insists is pleasurable but their partner would describe as "aliens poking at my body."
see also: jeffries about
For the weekend, I decided to set my browser's default search engine to Wikipedia. Probably more than half the time, I'm only using Bing or Google as proxies for a Wiki search anyway. Also, this way I don't trigger an A.I. summary that get excised from the page by my custom GreaseMonkey scripts.
January 11, 2026 at 8:03 PM
For the weekend, I decided to set my browser's default search engine to Wikipedia. Probably more than half the time, I'm only using Bing or Google as proxies for a Wiki search anyway. Also, this way I don't trigger an A.I. summary that get excised from the page by my custom GreaseMonkey scripts.
"Ah, surely the electorate has learned its lesson," every four to eight years, for now.
January 8, 2026 at 4:08 PM
"Ah, surely the electorate has learned its lesson," every four to eight years, for now.
Try imagining any industry other than tech using the defense, "but we can't predict how it works!" when people get hurt by their products. Imagine if all cars all had Infinite Improbability Drives with a 0.01% chance per mile of teleporting you directly into the Earth's core, and Ford just shrugged.
January 4, 2026 at 7:21 PM
Try imagining any industry other than tech using the defense, "but we can't predict how it works!" when people get hurt by their products. Imagine if all cars all had Infinite Improbability Drives with a 0.01% chance per mile of teleporting you directly into the Earth's core, and Ford just shrugged.
I got a Ring Pop in my stocking and I thought I could engage Goblin Mode and just eat the damn candy, but it turns out disregarding the Ring Pop form factor is really, really hard.
January 3, 2026 at 5:49 AM
I got a Ring Pop in my stocking and I thought I could engage Goblin Mode and just eat the damn candy, but it turns out disregarding the Ring Pop form factor is really, really hard.
My mother-in-law asked me to find a '50s or '60s western film to show her granddaughter, and holy shit is this kind of search broken across all of the services I attempted to use.
December 29, 2025 at 5:58 PM
My mother-in-law asked me to find a '50s or '60s western film to show her granddaughter, and holy shit is this kind of search broken across all of the services I attempted to use.
Tech Bros going all in on AI to an irrational level makes a lot more sense if you mentally frame it as a hostage drama: "Fully embrace A.I. or we will blow up the whole economy" is in the right ballpark for their first, tense scene dueling with the police negotiator via walkie-talkie.
December 27, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Tech Bros going all in on AI to an irrational level makes a lot more sense if you mentally frame it as a hostage drama: "Fully embrace A.I. or we will blow up the whole economy" is in the right ballpark for their first, tense scene dueling with the police negotiator via walkie-talkie.
As a Seattle fan, I couldn't help but notice that even in this hallucinatory fever dream, the Mariners couldn't win the pennant. Let alone the Marbiders or Sleattle City.
For anyone worried AI will replace all of us.
Courtesy of Gemini for the prompt “create an infographic of all the World Series winners since 1986”
I dare you to find 10 things that are right.
Courtesy of Gemini for the prompt “create an infographic of all the World Series winners since 1986”
I dare you to find 10 things that are right.
December 17, 2025 at 10:09 AM
As a Seattle fan, I couldn't help but notice that even in this hallucinatory fever dream, the Mariners couldn't win the pennant. Let alone the Marbiders or Sleattle City.
When it's a mid-tempo punk song in a minor key, you know some serious shit is about to be discussed.
December 16, 2025 at 6:41 AM
When it's a mid-tempo punk song in a minor key, you know some serious shit is about to be discussed.
BlueSky should let an account's followers propose alt text for images without it, then let them vote on the top choice, or allow the post author to choose one of the proposals (which would override community choices).
December 10, 2025 at 9:40 PM
BlueSky should let an account's followers propose alt text for images without it, then let them vote on the top choice, or allow the post author to choose one of the proposals (which would override community choices).
Reposted by PorterStoutImperial
pedantry is a bad look, meaning in language is determined by use, and also, that’s probably not what “begs the question” means
December 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
pedantry is a bad look, meaning in language is determined by use, and also, that’s probably not what “begs the question” means
Oh, I get it now. Hegseth is the Secretary of War CRIMES.
November 28, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Oh, I get it now. Hegseth is the Secretary of War CRIMES.
Turducken will always be a "no" from me because of the first four letters.
November 27, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Turducken will always be a "no" from me because of the first four letters.
I'm beginning to suspect that all this attention is exactly what that RFK-sexting reporter wanted in the first place.
November 26, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I'm beginning to suspect that all this attention is exactly what that RFK-sexting reporter wanted in the first place.
Clearly the Boomers, Xers, and Gen Zers are ganging up on Millennials because our generational cohort has the coolest name and the rest are jealous. I will not self-reflect on this or any other matter, because there's never been a need for any cohort to do so.
November 20, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Clearly the Boomers, Xers, and Gen Zers are ganging up on Millennials because our generational cohort has the coolest name and the rest are jealous. I will not self-reflect on this or any other matter, because there's never been a need for any cohort to do so.
Don't worry about Bill Maher; he'll have a long and fruitful career airing his grievances on TV for years to come.
November 18, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Don't worry about Bill Maher; he'll have a long and fruitful career airing his grievances on TV for years to come.
"MTG was the greatest when she was ranting about space laser but now she's gone off the deep end! Thank you for your attention to this matter!" makes so much more sense when you realize his core base does not have object permanence.
November 15, 2025 at 4:27 PM
"MTG was the greatest when she was ranting about space laser but now she's gone off the deep end! Thank you for your attention to this matter!" makes so much more sense when you realize his core base does not have object permanence.
Reposted by PorterStoutImperial
not the main point of those emails at all but good lord are they all dreadful writers. spaces before and after commas? criminal
November 12, 2025 at 6:00 PM
not the main point of those emails at all but good lord are they all dreadful writers. spaces before and after commas? criminal