PorterStoutImperial
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porterstout.bsky.social
PorterStoutImperial
@porterstout.bsky.social
Seattle musician, coder, wannabe mixologist and Dad Joke auteur. He/him.
As a Seattle fan, I couldn't help but notice that even in this hallucinatory fever dream, the Mariners couldn't win the pennant. Let alone the Marbiders or Sleattle City.
For anyone worried AI will replace all of us.

Courtesy of Gemini for the prompt “create an infographic of all the World Series winners since 1986”

I dare you to find 10 things that are right.
December 17, 2025 at 10:09 AM
When it's a mid-tempo punk song in a minor key, you know some serious shit is about to be discussed.
December 16, 2025 at 6:41 AM
BlueSky should let an account's followers propose alt text for images without it, then let them vote on the top choice, or allow the post author to choose one of the proposals (which would override community choices).
December 10, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Reposted by PorterStoutImperial
pedantry is a bad look, meaning in language is determined by use, and also, that’s probably not what “begs the question” means
December 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Oh, I get it now. Hegseth is the Secretary of War CRIMES.
November 28, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Turducken will always be a "no" from me because of the first four letters.
November 27, 2025 at 10:38 PM
I'm beginning to suspect that all this attention is exactly what that RFK-sexting reporter wanted in the first place.
November 26, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Clearly the Boomers, Xers, and Gen Zers are ganging up on Millennials because our generational cohort has the coolest name and the rest are jealous. I will not self-reflect on this or any other matter, because there's never been a need for any cohort to do so.
November 20, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Don't worry about Bill Maher; he'll have a long and fruitful career airing his grievances on TV for years to come.
November 18, 2025 at 10:15 PM
"MTG was the greatest when she was ranting about space laser but now she's gone off the deep end! Thank you for your attention to this matter!" makes so much more sense when you realize his core base does not have object permanence.
November 15, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Reposted by PorterStoutImperial
not the main point of those emails at all but good lord are they all dreadful writers. spaces before and after commas? criminal
November 12, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Looking forward to footage from later today of Mike Johnson claiming he's never heard of Donald Trump.
November 12, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Work comes to a standstill at X dot com today as a manic Musk has been up all night and is demanding everyone drop all their work in order to find out if this Joyce Carol Oates account is some website he can buy and run into the ground, or if he'll have to build his own Grok Carol Oates.
November 11, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Watching Jeanne Shaheen's presser where she attempts to justify what Dems "won", which is a vote that will almost certainly fail because GOP will GOP. Really makes me wonder what it'd be like to wake up every day like Guy Pearce in Memento, not remembering a single thing that happened yesterday.
November 10, 2025 at 5:39 PM
The Peanuts meme of Charlie Brown falling for the football snatch does not apply to the Minority Leader today because Charlie Brown is the lovable loser you keep rooting for. The only thing I'm rooting for Schumer to do is go jump in a lake with the Baileys.
November 9, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Another A.I. feature that people might actually want: detect if an incoming text message is "just chatting" vs. asking a time-sensitive question ("saw this cute things at a yard sale, do you want me to get it for you?") and play a more urgent notification sound if so.
November 8, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Seattle Weather Update: yes, that was lightning!
November 6, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Yeas, kids: in Insane Seattle Electoral Politics World, the mayoral candidate who struggles with childcare costs is LESS representative of the majority of people with kids, and the one who's hasn't stressed about it knows MORE about the burden of childcare costs.
November 3, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Poetic.
November 2, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Did A.I. write whatever this Fox lead-in to Game 7 is?
November 2, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Remember kiddos, Vote Blue No Matter Who*!

*except: this asterisk has been rated to support political apologetics up to 20,000 BBT (bullshit by ton), which is suitable for most short-sighted, self-centered special pleading but is not certified to absolve an entire ADTL (Average Daily Trump Lies).
Chuck Schumer Walks Out Rather Than Say if He’s Voting for Zohran
The Senate minority leader says he’s still talking with Zohran Mamdani, despite the election being just days away.
www.yahoo.com
November 1, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I need somebody to invent a set of RFID stickers that you can put on your "not dishwasher safe" dishes that will shriek like they're being murdered when put into a dishwasher. It's the only way my hand-wash-only coffee mugs could possibly be preserved in my household.
October 31, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Demand work-requirement testing for Republicans in the House.
October 27, 2025 at 4:35 PM
No online safety act — like KOSA — is being pursued in good faith if a) it incentivizes websites to collect more information about users (to distinguish whether or not they are minors) yet b) does not create strict penalties for mishandling (security breach, leaks, etc.) such information.
October 26, 2025 at 5:20 PM
I find it funny that Google Street View blurred out the face of J.P. Patches, presumably in order to protect his privacy.
October 23, 2025 at 8:34 PM